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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do I feel so empty?

22 replies

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 19:54

Is there something wrong with me?

I feel so empty at times despite having most of what I want out of life. Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful and I love my family so much.

The thing that makes me feel empty is that I don’t have that twin spirit type of friend (yes I’ve got lots of amazing close friends who I love) that is really like minded to me and we click so well. It’s like an unbreakable bond. (I kind of have that but this friend lives in a different country)

I also feel I don’t really belong in the country I live in and I’d be better off living in somewhere like Spain or America. I don’t feel like I’m really part of groups. I’m usually like that person who’s pushed to the side no matter what I do. I’m always nice and welcoming to people.

I would love to move my husband, dogs and child off to another country first chance I got (tomorrow if I could lol) but that wouldn’t be fair on them.

I see all around me those twin spirited close people with that unbreakable bond that I don’t have and it just fills me with sadness as it’s never me.

Like I said I love my husband and kids but they can’t fill that void which is a terrible thing to say.

I feel like I just don’t belong despite trying my hardest to prove myself I always fall short somehow. Sometimes it works and I feel so amazing and complete. The void is filled but something happens and it’s like a hammer to that filled in void that opens it again.

That friend I have that lives in a different country, I feel so close to her like we are twin spirits. We’re so similar and have been through similar things in life. She gets me like really gets me more so than my husband. (My husband is there for me but it’s different for men compared to women) It really saddens me that we live so far apart that I can’t easily just meet up with her. It feels unfair. She’s one of the first people I tell things to and I confide in her about a lot of things as she does to me. I can’t get her out of my head. I get so annoyed that I can’t just see her.

Wtf is wrong with me?

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 16/06/2024 19:56

Did you post about this the other day op? The friend you’re obsessed with and your party won’t be the same without her?

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:01

Screamingabdabz · 16/06/2024 19:56

Did you post about this the other day op? The friend you’re obsessed with and your party won’t be the same without her?

No

OP posts:
NeelyOHara1 · 16/06/2024 20:06

Accidie. An “inertia of the heart”.

Autumcolors · 16/06/2024 20:08

Personally I’m not sure about twin spirits. We can have people we are close to and very fond of. But twin spirit is a made up concept - closely linked to a cult as far as I know.
Maybe change your perspective- think of all the aspects of your current life you are grateful for. No matter where you live and who your friends are unless you have contentment in yourself the grass will always be greener.
What about having more fun with your husband. Intentionally growing your bond with him.

In the mean time work on a plan to either visit your friend, or she visits you. Or you meet somewhere for a long weekend.

Everyone has their challenges. But being content where you are and not always looking for something better can make life much more manageable.

AffIt · 16/06/2024 20:14

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:01

No

I think you did and if not, you have an uncannily similar situation / writing style.

Truthfully, OP, I think you are deeply unhappy and possibly quite unwell and need some help from actual medical professionals, rather than strangers on the Internet.

Please try to see your GP as a matter of urgency.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5096778-aibu-to-think-ill-not-have-a-good-time-on-my-birthday-without-her?page=1

AIBU to think I’ll not have a good time on my birthday without her? | Mumsnet

Hey so this sounds really silly as I know the chances of seeing one of my good friends on my birthday in a couple of weeks was really slim as she live...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5096778-aibu-to-think-ill-not-have-a-good-time-on-my-birthday-without-her?page=1

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:21

NeelyOHara1 · 16/06/2024 20:06

Accidie. An “inertia of the heart”.

What’s that

OP posts:
Hinkuy · 16/06/2024 20:26

You're gay. You love her. This is why you feel so empty.

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:28

Hinkuy · 16/06/2024 20:26

You're gay. You love her. This is why you feel so empty.

I’m not gay

OP posts:
Hinkuy · 16/06/2024 20:29

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:28

I’m not gay

Have you stopped and really thought about that? Have you had any therapy. It sounds very much like you're suppressing your sexuality.

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:37

Hinkuy · 16/06/2024 20:29

Have you stopped and really thought about that? Have you had any therapy. It sounds very much like you're suppressing your sexuality.

I don’t know. Maybe I just feel things strongly

OP posts:
NeelyOHara1 · 16/06/2024 20:37

@Acrazybimbo "For suddenly it would seem to the poor victim that the day was intolerably long and life desolating and empty. They would go back into the shade and wonder what good they were doing or if there was any object in existence." Or in your case, think that things would be better if only the scenery changed?

Hinkuy · 16/06/2024 20:38

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:37

I don’t know. Maybe I just feel things strongly

I think you should explore that in therapy.

Veryverycalmnow · 16/06/2024 20:41

Twin spirit sounds a bit teenage.

wutheringkites · 16/06/2024 20:43

You're in love with a woman you have never met in real life and who lives on the other side of the world.

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:48

wutheringkites · 16/06/2024 20:43

You're in love with a woman you have never met in real life and who lives on the other side of the world.

Do you think that’s what it is

OP posts:
Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:56

I’ve questioned it in the past. I love my husband and wouldn’t go there

OP posts:
Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 21:01

Don’t know why I’m being like this

OP posts:
Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 21:07

Bump

OP posts:
Lilysienna1 · 16/06/2024 21:12

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:01

No

Oh come off it. That is 💯 your post and you know it.

Screamingabdabz · 16/06/2024 23:54

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 20:01

No

Seems you’re in denial about a lot of things. That’s why you feel empty. You’re living a lie and the life you think you want is a fantasy.

PinkArt · 17/06/2024 00:17

Acrazybimbo · 16/06/2024 21:07

Bump

You bumped your other thread just a few minutes after your previous post too. You have a distinctive communication style. It would help people help you if you were more transparent - the more folks know the more they can offer advice.

Acrazybimbo · 17/06/2024 20:40

Have any of you been through this before. How did you cope to feel better?

OP posts:
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