Is there something wrong with me?
I feel so empty at times despite having most of what I want out of life. Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful and I love my family so much.
The thing that makes me feel empty is that I don’t have that twin spirit type of friend (yes I’ve got lots of amazing close friends who I love) that is really like minded to me and we click so well. It’s like an unbreakable bond. (I kind of have that but this friend lives in a different country)
I also feel I don’t really belong in the country I live in and I’d be better off living in somewhere like Spain or America. I don’t feel like I’m really part of groups. I’m usually like that person who’s pushed to the side no matter what I do. I’m always nice and welcoming to people.
I would love to move my husband, dogs and child off to another country first chance I got (tomorrow if I could lol) but that wouldn’t be fair on them.
I see all around me those twin spirited close people with that unbreakable bond that I don’t have and it just fills me with sadness as it’s never me.
Like I said I love my husband and kids but they can’t fill that void which is a terrible thing to say.
I feel like I just don’t belong despite trying my hardest to prove myself I always fall short somehow. Sometimes it works and I feel so amazing and complete. The void is filled but something happens and it’s like a hammer to that filled in void that opens it again.
That friend I have that lives in a different country, I feel so close to her like we are twin spirits. We’re so similar and have been through similar things in life. She gets me like really gets me more so than my husband. (My husband is there for me but it’s different for men compared to women) It really saddens me that we live so far apart that I can’t easily just meet up with her. It feels unfair. She’s one of the first people I tell things to and I confide in her about a lot of things as she does to me. I can’t get her out of my head. I get so annoyed that I can’t just see her.
Wtf is wrong with me?