So should I not give him the flowers?

[twoandcooplease]

Talking to toddler ds2 about me having to nip out in 5, tell him I've to go to his grandads house and drop off a card and some flowers from him/us for Father's Day

(Mums fiancé - they have been together 5 years and he is my ds grandad but not a step dad iyswim)

DP smirked and asked if I was joking? I said no... and he said 'you don't get men flowers!' while giggling a bit
He stopped when he saw the (probably embarrassed) look on my face and I said I already bought them yesterday?

Is he right? I've got the flowers and was about to leave and take them but now I am really embarrassed I don't want to. But I've already told my mum I'd bought him them so will be weird turning up without them however maybe just cards and an 'I forgot the gift' is better

In case it matters (I think it might...) my dad abandoned me when I was two and flitted in and out my life only on birthdays and xmas's so dp might be right, that I don't know the proper Father's Day etiquette, obviously I've not had a dad
I just wanted to give appreciation to mums DP for being such a great support to us all in the family and being the best grandad to my little ds

update to say flowers from him/us

My DH is a very masculine man who loves flowers. It’s a really lovely gesture. Presumably your instincts were that it was an appropriate gesture for him so give the flowers I’d say.

Why can't men receive flowers? Loads of men do the gardening. My dad loves the garden, I've never brought him flowers but my mum get horrendous hayfever so wouldn't be worth the risk.

I bought a man who volunteered for us at work flowers. He loved them. Said that as a man no one thought to buy him flowers before.

I think it's lovely!

Give him the flowers, I have bought my husband flowers before and what a lovely way to show appreciation.

Ds loves flowers...he buys them weekly for the house and arranges them....and from the garden too.

Thank you @Georgesbar24 that really helps. My mums dp likes flowers too I think but if he didn’t he would never be rude. He is one of the kindest men and would be upset to know the dilemma has upset me

I have cried twice over nerves about getting it wrong. I haven’t left the house yet for anxiety
I really feel like wtf is wrong with me

My DH buys flowers every week in our shopping because he loves them.

He’ll love the flowers! Your DP is being a bit odd

And he is the person who does the weekly shop and there's flowers in their house all the time too
So that's why I thought I'd got it right

Then dp's face just shattered all the confidence I had

It's already not easy approaching a man who's not your dad, on Father's Day, when you don't have one yourself. I can feel rejection before I've even given them

I thought at 30 I'd be over this shit. I've just realised it's obviously not about the flowers

Your DP is horrible.

Take the flowers.

There's nothing wrong with you.

Stuff wrong with your partner though.

Thank you Miellee I think so too
I'm going to take them

His two teenage dc live in London, were in Scotland, so I was also thinking about him not seeing them today and how they might cheer him up if he's low

I am going to take them x

I always buy my dad flowers :)

I'm sure he'll love them ❤️

I buy my husband flowers because I love to see his face light up when he receives them.

He loves getting flowers and isn't a delicate little flower who feels like his masculinity is threatened by this gesture.

Wouldn't your Mum have suggested not to bring them if she thought he wouldn't like them? I think he'll love them, especially if they always have flowers in the house. Men are allowed to like flowers, your DP is being daft!

You sound like such a lovely and thoughtful person; I'm sure he'll love them and be really touched by your gesture

I have cried twice over nerves about getting it wrong. I haven’t left the house yet for anxiety
I really feel like wtf is wrong with me

I've just realised it's obviously not about the flowers

Does your partner have form for making you feel anxious and confused?

FWIW I think the flowers are a lovely idea and will mean all the more that he isn't your own dad, I'm glad you're going to take them

Saw something once that said most men don't get given their first flowers until their funeral. Since then I buy flowers for my husband, dad and brothers in law whenever there's an occasion. Your husband sounds like he could benefit from the happiness a beautiful bouquet can bring, the sod

Take your mum's fiance the flowers; re-evaluate your partner and his prehistoric views?

I have a friend who is a florist and she said that flowers for men is her biggest growth market. It's definitely a thing, the whole 'you don't give men flowers' thing is very outdated.

That’s an excellent point. My dad would love to receive flowers.

He’ll be chuffed to bits you’re thinking of him @twoandcooplease. The flowers are a wonderful gift but he’d probably be just as pleased with a pair of old socks. It really is the thought that counts in this situation.

I've bought my dad flowers before.
He loved them

I sent my dad flowers today as we live far apart, perfectly fine

To be honest, it depends on the man. My dad loves flowers, he has quite a passion for them.
My DH would not want flowers. Not because he's a macho man, he's just really not interested. He wouldn't see the point on them. He likes practical gifts or things he can eat or drink!