So should I not give him the flowers?

[twoandcooplease]

Talking to toddler ds2 about me having to nip out in 5, tell him I've to go to his grandads house and drop off a card and some flowers from him/us for Father's Day

(Mums fiancé - they have been together 5 years and he is my ds grandad but not a step dad iyswim)

DP smirked and asked if I was joking? I said no... and he said 'you don't get men flowers!' while giggling a bit
He stopped when he saw the (probably embarrassed) look on my face and I said I already bought them yesterday?

Is he right? I've got the flowers and was about to leave and take them but now I am really embarrassed I don't want to. But I've already told my mum I'd bought him them so will be weird turning up without them however maybe just cards and an 'I forgot the gift' is better

In case it matters (I think it might...) my dad abandoned me when I was two and flitted in and out my life only on birthdays and xmas's so dp might be right, that I don't know the proper Father's Day etiquette, obviously I've not had a dad
I just wanted to give appreciation to mums DP for being such a great support to us all in the family and being the best grandad to my little ds

update to say flowers from him/us

Hollie McNish says yes.

I've never known anyone to buy a bloke flowers and I've never thought to do it myself.

But as this thread proves, some blokes like them.

So give them to him and stop worrying.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to help me. I am in the car on my way to drop off the flowers and I'm not nervous he won't like them or appreciate I've thought of him today. He truly is a lovely person and does so so much for my family. Especially for my mum which I'll be eternally grateful for since she just finished treatment for cancer last month and he's just been an amazing rock for her throughout

@BabySnarkDoDoo yes she absolutely would so I think you're right
Thank you so much xxx

What does your dp think all the male gardeners like about gardening.. can guarantee a bug part of it is the flowers! Keep an eye out for him passing on more sexist tripe to your dc!

I hope he enjoyed the flowers and the sentiment of a gift from you

Male athletes are given bunches of flowers alongside their medals at major sporting tournaments. All the champion flower growers I know in our village are men. It’s not a female only thing. It’s very sad for your DH that his masculinity is so fragile that he can’t see this for the lovely, genuine gift that it is. Go and give him something he will love.

I've bought my stepdad flowers before and he loved them, was really touched and said no-one has ever bought them for him before.
Update us on your Mums DP's reaction please!

Glad you're on your way OP. If I was him I'd be as pleased as punch. (As someone who backs out of things due to lack of confidence, I also think you'd regret not giving him them as you clearly want to show him he's special to you)

I wouldn't do it as I don't like cut flowers in general, but if you know the recipient will like them, why not?

My partner and dad would enjoy receiving flowers.

As far as I'm aware you don't look at flowers with a specific type of genital so they're unisex, unless I've been misinformed.

I also heard as PP mentioned that most men don’t receive their first flowers until their funeral.

I buy flowers every couple of weeks and I take it in turns to tell each of my young children they are for them. That includes three sons. They love it and I don’t think ill
ever stop. My daughter isn’t so fussed 🙄

Please update us all and tell us his reaction. x

He will love them.
They're from you.

@noctilucentcloud that sounds like me too, lack of confidence and lots of fear

@Skyrainlight My mums DP answered the door, I gave a quick 'Hi! Happy Father's Day, these are from me and ds' with a wee hug and quickly slipped into the living room like a coward

My mum, bless, thought they were for her....
Both very very grateful I visited (he is missing his kids lots today like I'd thought) and he loves the flowers and cards I wrote

As I left he thanked me so much, gave another cuddle and big smile. I know now it was the right thing to go and to take them. My mum has messaged me to say thank you so much, how thoughtful it was and such a surprise

Relief! Thank you everybody for supporting me xx

Well done! Pleased that you went and he liked them, and why not? Don't doubt yourself, you've got good instincts.

What’s a DP please? (Sorry!)

'Darling' partner xx

@Ilikeadrink14 this might useful for you xxx

www.mumsnet.com/i/acronyms

Thanks for updating us! I'm so pleased you went and sprinkled some love on both of their days. It makes me smile. Well done for being brave when you weren't comfortable about it.

Yay I'm so pleased! Well done!

I'm delighted it all went well. Your mum's partner sounds absolutely lovely and so do you.

I have never thought to buy a man flowers not really sure why. I have often given men gifts of plants though, both indoor and outdoor and I guess that's not a lot different to cut flowers. Maybe next time a male friend has a birthday I shall get flowers.

My husband loves flowers as much as me, he has grown them on and off over the years and brings some home sometimes just because they look nice

I think there is a degree of confirmation bias on this thread.

I’ve never known a man receive flowers as a gift and having just asked DH he agreed that it is far from normal.

That said it’s hardly going to cause harm, some bemusement maybe but nothing more than that.

Your DP is an insecure little baby.

There was a Reddit thread once upon a time absolute chock full of men saying how much they wish their wives/girlfriends would get them flowers as it's such a lovely gesture.

Don't let the fragile masculinity of one idiot deter you, men who are secure in themselves can and do love flowers, and it sounds like Grandad is one of those men if he buys them himself! Set a good example for your son and don't let him grow up to be a pansy like your partner.

I've given men flowers. They've either liked them or lied successfully about liking them.