Can you give me some good phrases to use on these kids?

[2024ccz]

Kids are year 5 I think. Everytime I pick up my child they will walk with me and my children and say random silly things such as on Friday one said I told him my daughters birthday is October (it’s actually August!). I have no idea who these kids are and I can 100% say I have never had a conversation with this boy! I ignored him and just smiled and focused on my kids. They kept walking with us I kept smiling. I know it sounds ridiculous that I’m bothered but you imagine putting up with this for past year on almost weekly basis.

There was a TA walking along behind us too. How would you react? My DD had no idea who they are but said she sees them in after school club sometimes. Would you speak to the school? I’m thinking not as I will sound crazy! I’m thinking next time I’ll politely say something but what?

It would be taken as a safeguarding concern by school if an adult was making conversation with unrelated/unknown children like this.

Oh do turn it in, of course it wouldn't 🙄

It's not like she's jumped out of a bush and demanded to know their personal details.

Perfectly fine to ask a child's name when they're attending your child's school, and walking home alongside you.

But she doesn't want to talk to them! Speak to the school before you are due to pick up again. Most schools would deal with this firmly.

It's been going on for around a year, it would be a safeguarding concern if op was engaging them in conversation like suggested here. I work in a school, I know.

walk to the nearest police station and report them for harassing you?
walk repeatedly round and round the block?

Meeting aggression, and this is agression, with a smile is a surefire sign that somebody is nervous and unsure. You grinning away and responding to their inane questions will not keep your daughter safe from bullying either because so far you've been a pushover. I would find their behaviour unnerving too and I'm not ASD.

The difference is I'd channel my very fierce Irish mother to to go away or I'd be reporting them to the school. Frankly, anybody facing my mother would probably have rather faced the teacher. She once stopped the worst bully in the school - my teacher - in midstep when she turned her gimlet gaze on her and this dreadful bully just fled without my mother saying a word. It was the highlight of the school year for me.

So that makes you the font of all knowledge does it?

For goodness sake. 'Safeguarding' seems to be a favourite MN word and very few people seem to be able to actually understand it in practice.

You're clearly one of those people.

First time: “Go away and leave me alone or I’ll tell your teacher”. Second time “piss off and leave me alone or I’ll tell your teacher”.

Is this happening on the school grounds or on your way home?

Do they also attend after school club and as such leaving at the same time as you , or do they hang out on the premises after school?

How many kids? All boys or mixed group?

My DNephew is a bit like this (he’s almost 6) but he is polite. He’s just very extrovert.

Luckily his DP and me will say things sometimes. Some parents don’t seem to mind though like the ones he randomly went up to in the playground recently. His DP’s need to have the stranger danger talk soon I think.

Because teachers are not there to monitor the tiny irritants in your life, they have more important things to do! If you're really fed up then tell them to go away, buggar off, by trying to be kind you're giving them a green light to continue.

If my phrases didn’t work I would tell the parents, nicely of course, that their charming offspring are bothering me and have been doing so for the past year.

exactly #bekind.

If the shoe was on the other foot the kids (or their DPs) wouldn’t like it.

You're not mean at all, wet adults are part of the problem, kids like this verbally slapping down.

Oh yes this.

There was a nasty girl when I was 9 at school, not in my class, but would always make comments and was friends with my best friend. Once when I was about 14 she came to my house to ask for me, stepdad knew I didn’t like her though. We weren’t in the same school but would see each other out and about occasionally. She kept on at him, why isn’t she out, where is she? He lost his temper, shouted and ran after her and her cronies. I never was bothered by her again.

Talk to the school, get them to deal with these kids.

No, but we are responsible for teaching them appropriate conduct.

Children who would do this to a parent and their child on the way home from school know exactly what they are doing and it likely forms part of a wider pattern of behaviour - eg that any poor behaviour seen in school is being continued outside school.

They will feel somewhat protected because its not in the school grounds but I would want to know if children in my class were behaving like this towards another child and their parent outside of the school gates and whilst in uniform.

Petty squabbles at a birthday party or a child telling another to fuck off over WhatsApp, I'm not interested in that - that's a paenting issue. But whilst they're in uniform, outside the gates and intimidating a younger child and their parent that could come into school - I would absolutely want to know.

God, who'd be a teacher when people think they should be dealing with something like this, on top of the hugely demanding professional job they do?

OP, just ignore. Keep a conversation going with your own children and just blank these kids. I can imagine it's bloody annoying but they aren't doing anything illegal! The fact it's been going on all year suggests they aren't bored of it yet so perhaps the smiling is making them feel they're getting some sort of response. Just blank them.

Not sure if it’s a crime per se as they’re kids, but if it ramped up and got swear words included then it’s verbal assault.

Kids of this age know exactly what they’re saying (I was teased/bullied at this age more than any other age) and they know the buttons to press. They may even pick up on the fact that OP is slightly different.

@OldChinaJug its good you’d deal with this behaviour.

"Bugger off" is a good phrase. Y5 is plenty old enough to know behaving like this is weird and inappropriate.

100% what @SNMummy2024 said and the PP that mentioned wet adults. Just say "right enough of this now, sling your hook or I will be in school in the morning and ask them to contact your parents"