What are you actually supposed to do when your child wakes at 3:45am???

[Usners]

He wakes up at 3:45 and will not go back to sleep. He’s 19 months. Been happening for around 3 months, not every night but at least 3 or 4 times a week. He will wake to breastfeed at 1am then back up at 3:45 for the day. I hate my life.

Op I feel you! I have been there (am still sort of there), it was painful. But it's gotten marginally better.

Here's what I did - my DS was in a cot but by 19/20 months was jumping out of the cot. I swapped the cot for a mattress on the floor and made sure his room was as baby proofed as possible. I also had a gate on his door. When he woke I would go sleep next to him on the mattress. If he cried, I ignored him and pretended to sleep, or rubbed his back/cuddle but with my eyes closed/not talking etc. It's not crying it out if you are with him and he's crying because he is tired. Mine eventually did go back to sleep, even if it was close to 5/6am. Better than nothing!

now DS is 5 and wakes anytime between 5:30-6 and potters about the house by himself/or climbs into bed for a cuddle. Sending solidarity

Are you co-sleeping?
If not, I’d definitely try that.

I let them in my bed , another feed and snooze until 8am or so. Mine were still feeding 4-5 times a night until I weaned!

Mine is the same age and we have roughly the same frequency of wake ups, around 440am. He has a light projector in his room, we watch that and cuddle quietly for an hour or so, sometimes he'll go back to sleep around 6am but if he doesn't we then get up for the day.

It's brutal 😂

Mine tried this. They certainly weren't ever allowed to be up for the day. What happens if you take him in to your bed?

No, cry it out is leaving them to self soothe - eventually. Cuddling and rocking isn't cry it out.