What are you actually supposed to do when your child wakes at 3:45am???

[Usners]

He wakes up at 3:45 and will not go back to sleep. He’s 19 months. Been happening for around 3 months, not every night but at least 3 or 4 times a week. He will wake to breastfeed at 1am then back up at 3:45 for the day. I hate my life.

my dS was like this; I’d keep on trying to settle him, I even had a mattress in his room to lie down on for this for quite a while then I’d swap with DH at 5 and more often than not we’d let him be up from then. It slowly got better and he’d then wake at 5 and we’d let him watch the iPad while I snoozed next to him, between 3-4 he started mostly waking at 6. He was always a bad sleeper though and is a child who doesn’t need that much sleep so for you it may just be a phase

Mine does this and I take him into my room and he's goes straight to sleep again

I've been guilty of this one 😂

Stop the breastfeed in the night - no need at that age, offer water only. Mine woke every night until that went and then he’s slept through since.

As others have said, don’t even think about taking him downstairs to play. He needs to sleep. Comfort in any way you like but he needs to stay in bed until morning. Will probably take a few nights for him to get the idea.

I used to climb in bed beside my ds and settle down. No talking , light or play. He usually went back to sleep.

I used to give in and get up at 4:30. Ds1 was a terrible sleeper as a baby. He slept through yhe night from about 2.5, but has never needed as much sleep as other children and is usually up before 6:30 a decade later.

I don't think that having one breastfeed over night at 19 months is particularly unusual. Drop it if you want, but don't feel you have to. I would try bringing him to your bed for cuddles. Even if he is awake, you might get a bit more snoozing. Like a previous poster, my second was completely different and always slept much longer. He was rarely awake before 7 as a baby.

We had a nightmare sleeper. What helped-

Him learning to fall asleep rather than rocking/stroking
Dropping night feeds
Getting rid of dummy

I think they all go through a stage of this. I told mine very firmly it's night time ssh and plonked them in bed with me.
I do remember once when he woke up early at 4am and wasn't resettling . We both had to get to work for 7am. So I took him shopping at a 24 hour Tesco that's normally a bit far to get to . It was amazing. So easy to get everything at that time. After that busy start he was shattered by the end of the day too so went off to sleep early. I do remember being delighted for years that the plan went well .

I remember the 18 month sleep regression being the WORST of them all. I really struggled to cope with this one and it felt like it would never end. I have no tips because nothing we tried helped DD go back to sleep until it passed so would say just do what you have to to get through it! Keep some strong coffee in the house and have an early bedtime yourself in preparation. It will pass x

I have a 19mo who is sleep trained. She cried for 3 nights and slept through from the 4th. Either sleep train or suffer because it's harder as they get older. Seriously. Also he's waking to BF which is unnecessary at this point, I would cut that out.

Agree

I actually work with someone who gets in with them 😆

I bought a gro clock - set it for the time I wanted them to get up. Made a big deal of it turning yellow meant it was wake up time and we could come out of room. If they woke before then I would go into the room, sometimes lay on the floor for hours, doing shhh, cuddles, rocking , reiterating clock is blue so is sleepy night time. 3 nights of this and she got it.

It then came on holiday and everywhere as she got older knew she could come out when it was yellow and anything g before was go back to sleep or lay very quietly in bed/ go back to bed if you need toilet etc

Best £30 ever

I would leave them as much as possible. Dark, no talking, no toys. Encourage reliance on blankets and teddies for comfort.
And never ever bring into your bed until you are ready to start your day. For us that was 7am.

Just put back in bed and say it's night time, on repeat. Offer water not milk. Just be prepared to go back and forth offering comfort words. It been a hard few nights but worth it in the long run. Good luck and you doing so well x

Keep it dark and boring. Stay upstairs. No getting up and playing. "Its sleepytime/nightime" on repeat.

They won't like it but if you give into it you are teaching their brain its ok to wake up now and reinforcing it.

This happened to me. Lasted three or four months. One of us just got up at that time, and then they went to bed earlier.

Leaving him to cry wasn’t for us. Weaning didn’t help. He was just awake. It would have made no difference what we tried… he wanted to play. We’d bring him downstairs; get him breakfast and set him up to play, and then either play with him or lie next to him.

Its tough but it passes!

I would stop the breastfeeding. I don't agree with this cuddled back to sleep. Just keep saying go to sleep. I used to say it's the middle of the night we are all asleep. But your child is a bit young to understand.

Can you do what I used to do when mine woke super early which is bring them in my bed and pretend to be asleep so they cuddled up and went back to sleep with me? Room was child safe anyway so if they played around a bit on the bed it was fine but after 10 mins in the dark 'on their own' (IE me there but 'asleep") they always got bored and went to sleep; Never failed.

I did this. Essentially I was the dullest woman on the planet to my daughter between bedtime and 7am. Cuddly, but dull.

I took them into my bed and we all went back to sleep.

I had this, nothing I tried made any difference. So I stopped the night time breastfeed so that at least the block of time I was asleep was undisturbed, and me and DH took it in turns to get up. Eventually it gradually got later and later, until now they get up between 6-7am.

OP someone mentioned a gro clock, tried that too without success. Will post it to you if you like! Don’t know what to do with it as plug is different where I live so charity shop is no good!

Sympathies.. this will pass...
I'd drop the night breastfeed and keep him up later.

What are you doing when they wake?

You need to be very very boring.