To want to stop playing roulette? Please help

[Achangeisacoming]

I've name changed for this as I'm so ashamed

My DH likes a very occasional bet on the footie so has a Sky Bet account....it is very occasional. He is so disciplined and careful, sets a limit, never exceeds it.

About 4 years ago he showed me the Roulette game... just betting pennies. I was quite taken with it and played a pound and thought it was fun....I was hooked

Fast forward 4 years....ive spent £££ playing. Every Friday and Saturday....it's a ritual ....glass of wine and roulette. I've just added it up and I've spent £300 agsin this month....I feel sick typing this. This is the same every month. My savings have dwindled by £1800 over the last year as I've upped how much I've been spending so my savings have been propping me up.

I want to stop. Every weekend I try and stick to £5 on a Friday and £5 on a Saturday, that's affordable, ...but I always put more in as I'm always chasing my losses.

I just want to stop and never play again. Please tell me what a total idiot I'm being. I've just spent another £35 on it and lost every penny. I don't want to do this any more. Help!! Thanks

You need to put a ban on your account - I went down a similar hole (though with betting on games and casino style games, not roulette) it got to a point where it wasn’t fun and I was losing a lot of money.

Start with putting a ban on your account/changing your deposit limit - it can be hard, but by putting the restriction on there it does get easier as you can’t just bypass this, you’ve got this!

Problem is the account is on DHs phone. He won't delete it as he expects me to reign it in....he knows exactly how much I'm betting and has a face like a cats arse in disapproval, as to be expected, but just says have some discipline!! I need to just stop myself.

Can your husband put a password on it??

If you know you should stop, want to stop but can't, it sounds like you've unfortunately got a gambling addiction.

Tell your DH you need him to delete it/prevent you having access to it.
If he won't, or if you find yourself still finding a way to gamble, then it may be time for gamblers anonymous.

I know what it is and how to make deposits. It sounds like an obvious solution but I'd rather have the resolve to step away than get DH to change passwords....it wouldn't feel like I'd conquered it iyswim.

Quite honestly you are minimising your gambling addiction. You need outside support from people who have quit.

But you don't have the resolve. You have an addiction.

I want to stop. Every weekend I try and stick to £5 on a Friday and £5 on a Saturday, that's affordable, ...but I always put more in as I'm always chasing my losses.

It's obvious that if you want to stop then you need to stop. Break the 'ritual', don't do it at all. You know you don't stick to £5, so don't start.
Find something else to do at these times that you enjoy that doesn't involve any sort of gambling.

@ErrolTheDragon ....I think that's what i needed to hear. A gambling addiction....that frightens the life out of me. I've been kidding myself...that can't be me...but it probably is. I think if i could just leave it for a month and see how much more money I have in the bank, it'd really make me think twice and stop. I hate how accessible gambling is 😔

Why won’t you get your dh to help you by blocking your easy route to gambling? If you know you have an addiction - to anything - one of the best things you can do towards beating it, is to remove the temptation. A recovering alcoholic wouldn’t buy bottles of drink and sit looking at them all night, or a recovering drug addict have a stash of drugs in the cupboard, just so they can test their willpower.

I appreciate every comment. In my head I've been telling myself it's ok, I can justify it, I can afford it (only til my savings run out....I have to put it back, I hate deceiving DH who thinks I haven't touched them) . Keep the comments coming a I need this kick up the bum.

@maudelovesharold ....a very fair point. It's just a thing with me, ....I'd rather just stop than resort to having to ask DH to delete it. He enjoys the very occasional flutter

If it's on his phone can't he just not let you have it?

I'd rather just stop smoking!

If I could, I'd have already done it. I'm about to hand a month's worth of fag money to a hypnotherapist ... and even she isn't confident it'll work, I'm that far down this smelly hole with little burn holes all the way down 😬

Like me, darling, you're an addict. Tell your DH. Use the word. The least he can do to help is lock you out of your account. Is this leaflet any help? https://d1ygf46rsya1tb.cloudfront.net/prod/uploads/2024/05/Support-for-Family-and-Friends-Due-Review-PRINT-2023.pdf

It's from GamCare.
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/

Nip it in the bud now. If you don't in a couple years what you've lost so far will seem like pennies.

Does your DH know or not as one of your comments says he knows exactly and another says he thinks you haven't touched them? Are you using his account?

@Garlicker .....thank you. Yes, I probably am....only on the weekend, but it is something I look forward to doing and want to do despite knowing I shouldn't. I wish you all the luck with quitting the fags. I will conquer this somehow

@Firefly1987 he knows what I'm spending but thinks I'm affording it out of my monthly income. He doesn't know how much I've dipped into my savings....I run out of cash before the months end and am topping up my account as a result...if I wasn't playing roulette my monthly income would cover my outgoings no problem.

@Achangeisacoming oh I see. Well there should be deposit limits and account break options but obviously I recommend you stop completely. It will get to the point you will need bigger wins to get the buzz and could get in a real mess. It's not worth it x

@Garlicker have you tried an e cig? I was smoking 30 a day and bought one
Went about 6hrs without a cig which was the longest I had done in years! Got to 24hrs and thought well I can't smoke now

I did have to virtually attach it to my face for 2 days but I'm about 7 years cigarette free
Nothing else had worked because honestly I didn't really want to quit. Still enjoy the nicotine

I feel the same way about Candy Crush. I've been playing for years. I know I should delete the apps - I have before but slid back into playing by telling myself I wouldn't spend anything. It's stupid.

You can self exclude yourself via gamstop so you can’t gamble online at all. Either that or why don’t you set up your own account on your phone and set a deposit limit on? I’d only recommend that though if you know you’d stick to it.

it’s a slippery slope and you will end up losing out - everyone knows the house always wins.
You need to be honest with your husband and ask him to restrict your access.

My DP worked 7 days a week for 3 years and built up a really decent amount of savings before we moved in together. He cut back on everything to save for the future then saw a promotion for online roulette. He started off winning and got drawn in deeper and deeper and in the space of 6 months he’d lost all his savings.
He started going to casinos with his wages and blowing it all in one night, I lent him money and he’d struggle to pay me back leaving me short.

Eventually I told him he had a gambling problem and if he didn’t stop I’d leave him. I couldn’t risk losing everything myself, I’ve had issues with addiction myself and he supported me so I couldn’t judge (and wouldn’t anyway) so we contacted gamstop together and got him self excluded for online and real life casinos.

Once the temptation was removed he actually found it easy to stop and despite buying too many lottery tickets he’s not gambled since.

I think it helped we caught it early before he built up serious debt and he knows the harm addiction can do. It also helped that he joined me for addiction support and there were the tools to stop him accessing casinos. It’s absolutely heartbreaking knowing that he worked so hard and gave up so much of his life to basically throw money away.

Please don’t let this ruin your life, you might think you have it under control but you clearly don’t. Don’t feel ashamed to ask for help or admit you are struggling either, it’s better to be open with your husband now rather then getting drawn in deeper and him finding out.

It sounds like a habit that you’ve got into and it might help if you plan other things at the times you spend gambling online. Maybe you could join a gym? It’s a much better way of getting a dopamine hit!

One of the biggest parts of addiction is denial, it sounds like making this post is part of you finally admitting you have a gambling problem and so it’s the best time to act on it. If you find that you are still thinking about gambling and restricting access isn’t enough then look for additional support, there are lots of services out there that can help.

@Achangeisacoming
For some people it’s wine. For others it’s gin. For still others it’s weed or blow or the ponies or sitting in front of a slot machine in Vegas.
For you it’s roulette, and you’ve been brave and honest and admitted it here.
Alcoholics go to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Some folks drink themselves to death.
You know you need help - if you can’t quit by yourself, wouldn’t the bigger shame be in NOT asking your husband for help before your savings runs out - and being forced into telling him?
We every one of us have our weaknesses. It’s our strength in admitting them that sees us through.
I believe in you - so does your husband.
I think you’ll be surprised at how supportive he’ll be because, after all, he loves you.❤️
He won’t be half as disappointed in you as you are in yourself.

This is so true and very wise words.

It’s absolutely right that your husband won’t be as disappointed in you as you are in yourself and it’s the best feeling in the world when you get the support and have the strength to stop feeling that disappointment and shame.

I’ve been in recovery for 6 years now and not even had one slip up or the slightest temptation to go back to my old ways. The pride I feel about being clean is better than anything else I’ve ever felt.

Get dh to change the password & not tell you what it is. Any gambling sites in your own name, self exclude, you can often exclude for life. I was addicted to online bingo & I had to do this.

I was so bad on Christmas I was cooking the dinner & losing £2k at the same time, that was when I knew I had to stop, I was £25k in debt, I used credit cards, my overdraft, I used to sit up until my money went in the bank so I could play, I had my bank account forcibly closed & my debit card cancelled, I even once left 5 year old ds asleep in bed & drove to the petrol station to get a payment ticket so I could play. I'm not proud of what I was like, I haven't gambled in 10 years.