To want to stop playing roulette? Please help

[Achangeisacoming]

I've name changed for this as I'm so ashamed

My DH likes a very occasional bet on the footie so has a Sky Bet account....it is very occasional. He is so disciplined and careful, sets a limit, never exceeds it.

About 4 years ago he showed me the Roulette game... just betting pennies. I was quite taken with it and played a pound and thought it was fun....I was hooked

Fast forward 4 years....ive spent £££ playing. Every Friday and Saturday....it's a ritual ....glass of wine and roulette. I've just added it up and I've spent £300 agsin this month....I feel sick typing this. This is the same every month. My savings have dwindled by £1800 over the last year as I've upped how much I've been spending so my savings have been propping me up.

I want to stop. Every weekend I try and stick to £5 on a Friday and £5 on a Saturday, that's affordable, ...but I always put more in as I'm always chasing my losses.

I just want to stop and never play again. Please tell me what a total idiot I'm being. I've just spent another £35 on it and lost every penny. I don't want to do this any more. Help!! Thanks

Get DH to put a password on. Get yourself excluded from all gambling sites, and get help from Gambling Anonymous or similar.

Honestly, there are gambling addicts out there who wish they'd had your self-awareness and taken action while their losses were measured in hundreds, not tens of thousands.

Move your savings into an inaccessible account. In an emergency banks will give you your money out if these accounts if you ring them. When I left abusive ex I had to do this, it took maybe half an hour on the phone.

Every month Move your monthly expenses into the current savings account and transfer yourself the money back every single time you want to spend it. It will make spending money a ballache and give you time to stop yourself and think about what you're doing.

On my bank account I can set my cards and things not to allow debits for gambling accounts, could you do the same?

Otherwise you need to tell DH to set the app up in such a way that you cannot access it at all.

You are an addict, you need to use all the tools available to help you stop. And I do mean STOP. Addicts can't moderate, it's all or nothing..

This - just tell him he needs to delete the app and set it up again in secret.

sign up to exclude yourself

treat it as an addiction- plan a distraction for the times when you used to play. Films / walks / cooking ?

Let's try some reasoning.

The game has a negative expected payoff. Translation: over the long term the house always wins. That's guaranteed. The more you play, the more certain it is that you will lose (because of the law of large numbers).

Ever been to Vegas? How much did all those amazingly grand buildings cost? It wasn't paid for by winners!

Now, let's appeal to your psychology. The game is probably designed with lots of flashy visuals and exciting noises to stimulate our internal reward system - that may be part of the appeal for you. If you really can't do without that, then play a different game (there are plenty) that doesn't involve gambling. And, ask yourself if your life should really amount to treating yourself like some over-stimulated laboratory rat who relies on flashy graphics, electronic noises and the occasional win (between the inevitably greater losses) for your own self-validation. You're better than that!

Go and read a book - I recommend The Confidence Game by Maria Konnikova - it's about how smart people are taken in by losing propositions.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. I appreciate the message in each and every one of your responses.

I WiILL STOP....sorry for the shouty capitals, that's affirmation for me.

I'm not ready to tell dh about the state of my savings but will be asking him to help me by not giving me the phone. I'm going to muster all my resolve not to ask him for it in the first place as I feel he'll be so pleased if he sees me not playing it...but he'll have my back if i cave.

@CranfordScones ...you are bang on. Part of the appeal, and it sounds pathetic to admit it, is the hook of the flashing lights and the graphics. That sounds sooo shallow!! It just draws you in....you're so right, I'm better than that

A massive incentive for me is the appeal of protecting my income and bank account. I've been visualising taking £300 and burning it which us what in effect I'm doing.. madness!

Thank you all again and good luck to anyone else struggling wuth these bloody addictive sites.

I'll be back in a month to tell you how I've done.

You are an addict. If you were honest about the savings I'm sure that your husband would take more action to support you.

Your addiction is already out of control and it is a high risk of destroying your marriage and life.

It needs to stop today. If you need proper support then get it but please make today day 1 of your life without gambling

Hi OP you have already jumped the first hurdle by recognising you have a problem. Next hurdle is seeking help, and the good news is there is lots of help out there. Have a look at GamCare, (google GamCare and you will find it) it’s a brilliant website in itself , and can also signpost you to other resources.

Please don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed, these games and websites exist to extract money out of you.

This is an old-ish thread… hope the op is doing ok.