Parenting - Have I got it all wrong?

[Startstopstart]

Many people seem to be doing a spectacular job at parenting so I sometimes wonder if I got it all wrong. I am a parent to 2.5 yo DS and currently pregnant nearly in third trimester. I work 4 days a week and then he is in nursery and we are home on Friday.
I have started to dread my Fridays off now. I feel utterly exhausted as my son is awake between 5-6 am, he is becoming more stubborn and resists his naptime. DH is very adamant that he shouldn't be watching TV so it mostly falls on me to keep him entertained. I am feeling increasingly exhausted and 16 hours long days are taking a toll on me.
DH doesn't seems to understand my exhaustion due to pregnancy as well as me feeling more emotional and irritable than usual. We have very different views on parenting and we tend to argue a lot and my resentment seems to be building up because of constant early days. DH does night wakings and DS keeps waking up 2-3 time a night hence I am the one who gets up when DS is finally awake in the morning. I feel like I am at a breaking point now and I need to learn new parenting techniques as DS doesn't seems to listen to most things I say and DH keeps blaming me that my parenting style is too permissive that he never seems to listen to me but I think he's still too young and he will listen to me once he's bit older.
Any advice on my situation is gracefully accepted. Thank you.

I am sure you are a lovely parent. And your child is at the hardest age. It will be completely different in a year when they are nearly 4, and able to be reasoned with - this is called the terrible two for a reason. Keep doing what you are doing. It will improve xx

Tell your husband to fuck off and let your boy watch TV. If DH doesn't like it, he can work 4 days a week and mind his son for 16 hours.

That aside, why is your son up for 16 hours??

You're not parenting wrong. I went through very similar when I was pregnant with dc2. It was utterly exhausting and I had PGP too.

All I can say is what other mumsnetters told me at the time. It gets easier after the birth. Having a newborn and a 3yo is easier than being heavily pregnant and with a 2.5yo.

If your son is up at 5:30, 16 hours later means he's asleep at 9:30pm?? Jeepers.

Why isn't he in bed asleep by 7ish?

@llamajohn thank you. He gets up at 6, then goes for an hour nap at 1, then goes to bed at 8 pm. If I shift his bed routine to earlier then he wakes up between 4-5 am, which was very unbearable. So, it's almost 14 hours, my bad for saying 16 hours.

Does anyone parent right??

I go through stages woth DD sometimes I love spending time with her and other times work seems like a break.

She is almost 4 now and a pleasure to be around as she has kind or learnt the art of compromise.

Like you DH can sometimes comment on my patenting and anything DD does negative is all because of me. Honestly just ignore it, if your DC is fed, clothes and loved what more is there.

As for TV, I was the perfect parent before I became one, DD has learnt loads from TV and we all need the break. Have DH look after DC for the day and then see how he feels.

I can tell you when mine were 2 absolutely nobody thought I was a spectacular parent. They are perfectly reasonable adults now.

Tell your DH to fuck off, 2.5 is a hard age and you are pregnant.

He just needs to drop his nap. Job done. Early to bed on a Friday and you can have a nice evening with your husband.

Sorry, it's 14 hours, I don't have an option to edit unfortunately.

Drop the nap.

Get out and about in the day, play groups, park etc. Kids need walking twice a day.

Alternatively book him a morning at nursery if you can to give yourself a break.

It's exhausting being pregnant and having a child to look after, whilst working!

No one parents 'right' no such thing, we are all winging it.

Allow some TV time.

What do you tend to do on Fridays? I worked the same pattern and I'd tend to go round the soft plays and let him run off some energy.

What happens at weekends?

I think he needs to drop his lunch time nap ... Worth a try, then I'm bed and asleep by 7pm.

I'll bet £500 that the DH has never had to look after his son for 14+ hours alone after an exhausting week...
I can guarantee all of a sudden TV will be allowed!!

Yeah, your husband unfortunately doesn’t get to create blanket parenting rules for the household until he’s the one spending days at home with your son.

you don’t have a parenting problem you have a husband problem.

let your child watch some TV, so you can both get some down time at the key stress points of the day (usually just before dinner time I always found)

you can’t do everything and be a constant entertainer and be pregnant all at once. You have to give yourself a break.

My youngest is 2.5 and she has a 10min nap at nursery during the week and no nap at the weekend. Anymore than 10mins and she won’t sleep till 9pm. Cut the nap time or drop it entirely.

also - bung on the TV.

I try to take him out to park and shops nearby on my days off but if the weather is bad with rain etc then I tend to keep him at home. He has got toddler football and swimming on weekends and then we go out grocery shopping or some park etc with him. My limitation is that I don't drive hence the activities I can do with him gets limited. I used to take him out a lot but due to pregnancy exhaustion and breathlessness, I struggle to take him out for walks etc to the park though I try to do that.

Sounds like DH needs to book a few Fridays off work to look after his son, whilst his heavily pregnant wife rests a bit ...

The days feel so long that sometimes I feel like we will never come out of it and I will be just doing this for the rest of my life

DD4.5 watches around 20 minutes if TV in morning, after breakfast and getting dressed and before we need to leave. Gives her time to chill whilst I make sure packed lunches are in bags, etc. she also sometimes watches in the 20-30 minutes before dinner, otherwise it's a juggle of cooking and her wanting to "help" or be played with. Most days she's fine to potter about, but there's days where it's about if a rush, she's a bit grumpy, something fiddly needs doing it whatever, and that's the perfect time for her to be zoning out a bit I front of the TV.

And shock horror, sometimes she watches TV whilst I sit right next to her reading or whatever, we both do nothing!

You will. It's just REALLY FUCKING HARD right now.

Your DH needs to step up and help. Ask him to help you next Friday by taking the day off work and being in charge of DS, so you can rest a bit.

I'll bet he gets time to himself without having to do family/house work and whatever...

Yes, the husband recommending what you should be doing with the child… That should old chestnut. Once the baby gets here, he’ll have DS a whole lot more so he can apply his ideas!

When I was PG my dd watched TV for many hours, nearly everyday especially in my first trimester. My morning sickness was crippling, and then when that went away, it got replaced by PGP. I took her to the soft play in the morning and then in the afternoon it was TV. Sometimes she "helped" me cook or do laundry - but mostly watched TV.

Even now I can't hear the theme tune for Puffin Rock without feeling like I'm going to be sick. The association is too strong.

It did her no harm. She still much prefers going out on her scooter or to the park, so she never got addicted to the TV.

So my point is, sign up to Netflix and Disney Plus and let them babysit for you lol!

Tell your husband to fuck off and turn the tv on. Being pregnant with a toddler is very hard work and with the added sleep issue you must be absolutely done it. You'll feel better once the baby is here but seriously, the tv is your friend for the next few weeks/months.

Nobody is doing it perfect, they just make it seem that way! Honestly everything before they turn around 4 is tough going!!!!!