I live in an awful area, there was a shooting today and can't get out!

[NoCoco]

I live in S E London and it really is an awful area. I can't get out and feel trapped.
I'm in a low paid job, single mum. The house I live in is owned by a family member who very kindly let's me live here for free, they are very wealthy and the house was left to them by a family member.
I'm so grateful but I would love to move to a safer area. There was a shooting here at the end of my road today. I'm so worried about my kids and am a nervous wreck. I can't afford to privately rent, no chance of a mortgage and council lists are crazy.
I just feel so trapped. Does anyone else hate where they live?

I really feel for you OP my partners grandparents sadly passed away a few years ago and at the time we were renting a beautiful 1930's house with stained glass windows and a huge garden and I loved it, it wasn't ours but I felt so at home there.

Then I unexpectedly fell pregnant and around the same time his grandparents died in close succession, the opportunity came for us to buy their house rather than it leaving the family, it was going to be a lot cheaper and we'd own it so it was a no brainer really, although it needed a lot of work (which we've now done)

it's in the same town in the midlands but not as nice of a street, the first house of the street is like Beirut, and coming home now feels a bit bleh, not long after we moved in a group of young lads with balaclavas hit my husbands parked car on a stolen motorbike and I had a full hyperventilating panic attack/ mental breakdown, I felt like I'd made pa massive mistake and ruined everything by moving here. But to be honest we've been here over 2 years now and it's quiet. Those boys have found somewhere else to cause havoc.

it's not the same and in your position I know I'd be really down. I don't know what to suggest lovely, I was a single mum for 4 years before I met my husband and I know the financial struggles 🩷

Get a live-in job as domestic staff.

@aerkfjherf ·. You are the head of th Plumstead Marketing Board and I claim my UK5pounds

I am just sad the OP is so unhappy in what I think of as a lovely place to live, that is all

On a sidenote, so many unacknowledged parallel lives going under the radar in this election.

@LakieLady Three murders in 30 years seems very low. I love Sussex, top of my list.

I don't know how I'd find crime stats for 30 years.

@NoCoco I have only just left London and am not far away at all. Tbh the whole of it seems like that now, and of course many other parts of the country. The gangs are driving everyone up the wall and no one will do anything.

How old are your kids?

I would try and focus on getting a decent paying job and then you can save up to be able to afford to move somewhere better.

I’m sorry you’re in this position but having free rent does mean you’re in a more privileged position than most people in the same area, as they won’t all be getting their rent paid for them.

If you can get a decent job now then you can hopefully move before the kids get too old and become involved in these crimes.

Its so scary 💐

Yes, you're right. So much intense rage since the lockdowns.

It's hard to save on benefits anyway. I had 17k in savings so over the threshold for UC, then my son went to nursery. 1.1K a month for 4 years. I have very little of that 17k left. Thankfully I can save a bit now as I have a better paid job.

@aerkfjherf I have lived here over 40 years so I think I know it inside out. I didn't particularly want to name the place because people on here may live there and I don't want to disrespect anyone. However it's like the wild west.
Unless I go around with my eyes closed or have emigrated from a war zone I can not see how it could possibly be described as a lovely place to live

Are you always so unpleasant? And thick ?

I've had a quick look on the lady website. Jobs.lady.co.uk (posh I know but don't hold that against them).
Loads of live in with cottages. Some even in Greater London and Essex. You'll need a DBS for some and good references.
The other thing is a school matron role but your children will need to be at school. They usually like ex nurses but apply if it suits.

@Mrsredlipstick thank you, its something I'll definitely be looking into and hadn't considered before

I lived in SE12 for several years and my kids were born in London. I moved out around 2015 and would never go back. Now in SW although lived in Wales for a few years too.
Is there anyone you could possibly stay with for a while in another area so you could find your feet, get work and possibly start renting with help from UC? There are places so much cheaper and nicer to live.
I know private renting is hard to come by but there are areas in lower demand.

Yes I agree with previous poster, move somewhere else such as south east like Brighton or Worthing and you can claim universal credit to help with rent while you look for more work

Most people get their rent paid by who?

So many people are paying a ridiculous amount in rent and can’t afford to live.

The thing is, whilst crime is clearly A Bad Thing, shootings and stabbings are largely between people who want to shoot and stab each other, not random attacks. With that being the case, my general view is that if I’m not involved in that world, it’s unlikely to affect me. Has worked so far, nearly 50 years in and also living in SE London

If you are not fussy where you go there are some places where you can get social housing direct access. Such as Herefordshire. Try platform Housing. Also there are places up north where the rent is pretty cheap like Hull. I can tell you that there are no stabbings or shooting in Herefordshire.

Is there any way your family member might be persuaded to invest in property in another area? If you could decide where you would prefer to live.

https://connexus-group.co.uk/properties/16-elmdale-ewyas-harold

This website sometimes has direct access social housing

Move from london. Its cheaper outside london. I know moving from place that you know well its hard. But its part of being an adult. I move to UK from the other side of the world. Leave all my family behind.

if yiu feel unsafe. Just move out from london

Immigration

There is a gap between what you want and what you have. Your job is to work out how to get closer to where you want to be. It's not gonna happen overnight, but you're the only one that can make it happen.

Also from the same area! My nan brought got her house in the 70s, I grew up in the 90s, used to love the area.

My oldest child is thankfully in a fantastic school, but as soon as she's ready for secondary we are out.

It's just getting worse by the day

Fair enough but imagine witnessing or your child witnessing a stabbing or shooting. That would be quite traumatising.