To not be able to forget about it and move on?

[Lonelymama88]

I will try to make this as short as possible but it’s a long story..
my best friend stopped talking to me for over 6 months in 2022 (I wrote a whole post on here about it), we ended up talking again, although I kept her at arms length as I didn’t want to be hurt again. Christmas time last year we got quite close again. Fast forward to middle of January a mutual friend who I happen to work with asked me if I thought my best friend was having an affair with a married man (something she has been accused of before), I defended my best friend and carried on the conversation. Come the beginning of Feb I received a message from my best friend asking me if I told our mutual friend that she had told me the man she was excused of having an affair with was actually having an affair with someone else! I was shocked and explained that I had defended her and not said anything about anyone having affairs with anyone else. Turned out our mutual friend decided to twisted a comment I had made about said married man being really good friends with another woman. I almost lost my job over this as well, luckily I had 2 witnesses who heard the whole conversation and agreed I didn’t say what I was accused of. I spoke to my best friend and thought we had sorted things out, however she has completely stopped talking to me again.
I am really hurt that she believes I would say anything like that but also totally confused why she has completely stopped talking to me again.
AIBU for not being able to just forget it and move on like everyone is telling me to?

I don't understand. How could you have lost your job even if you had said the man was having an affair with someone else?

I work in a school and all mentioned have children within the school. One of the parents complained to the headteacher

I don’t think you have read everything correctly. I DID NOT say what I was accused of, I answered a question about my friend. Again 2 other members of staff heard the conversation and agreed that I didn’t say anything! I worked incredibly hard to get my job and wouldn’t jeopardise it by being unprofessional!

Yes I did, it was in response to another comment by another member of staff. It wasn’t gossiping nor was I accusing anyone of anything!

Actually the issues I have had are with this 1 friend. 9 times out of 10 I keep myself to myself… but please carry on pointing out all of my issues, coz it’s really helping!

I suggest you do not rekindle your friendship with your supposed best friend. Time to make new friends with less dramatic types.

I’m not sure we’re getting the full picture here, OP.

Why would you almost lose your job but the person who talked about the affair didn’t have the same issue?

Why are all these people thinking you said something?

I personally would move on from that best friend, I don't know the previous story but if she keeps refusing to talk to you for extended periods of time she is not the right friend for you. I would also be super cautious of saying anything other than bland weather talk to the "friend" who twisted your words.

She was also spoken to but I was still in my probationary period, we were both spoken to by the headteacher.
In short the mutual friend relayed our conversation to the wife of the previous man my friend had been accused of having an affair with, who was drunk at the time and decided to twist everything.

I don’t deny that, I had 1 friend because I usually keep myself to myself as previously mentioned.
Defending her by saying I didn’t think she was having an affair with a married man. It wasn’t and still isn’t a secret that these people are good friends hence why I made the comment in response.

Bloody hell @phonerings are you the friend?!

forward to middle of January a mutual friend who I happen to work with asked me if I thought my best friend was having an affair with a married man

SHE asked YOU this in front of two other members of staff, yet YOU were the one threatened with the sack just because you were on probation??

Nah, something doesn't add up here.

It's not too late to take this up with your union.