I read his messages

[cupsandcupsoftea]

I know I shouldn't but we've been having some ups and downs recently.

I thought we were back on track but I just read a message to his mate saying he never sent me the finishing text as he got laid!!! And also that we aren't back together, we are more like fwb.

I don't know what to do, as far as I was aware we are back together. I think it's disrespectful saying he got laid too.

Thoughts please! I obviously can't say I've been snooping.

Of course he's sweet and tells you he loves you. Otherwise you wouldnt shag him.

If you want to see him, see him. Just don't shag him. THEN you'll find out if he loves you or likes a lay he doesn't have to work for.

If he loves you he'll accept friendship without benefits. Wear your ugly grey undies, the ones you wouldn't be seen dead in but are comfy.

No. He's a misogynist and using you.

That is not 'just how men talk to their mates' and I can't believe so many think that's ok. If you've been around men who do that then you're hanging around with the wrong men. Only men/boys I've ever heard speak about their partners in that way are the cheating type, want everyone to know they're available.

Someone who disrespects you behind your back does not love you.

I agree with PP who said see him but don't have sex with him. I mean, I don't think you should see him again at all, but if you really believe he cares about you and is simply a weak coward who needs validation from his friends (no idea how that is attractive and his friends sound equally as awful if they're impressed by that), make plans which do not involve sex and see what his actions are then.

I don't mean to sound harsh as you come across as having low self esteem...you just deserve better. You already didn't trust him to snoop and you'll never trust him now.

It sounds like you have invested in a fantasy, sorry OP.
He's done the love bombing and you are shell shocked for the moment.
It seems like you are in shock, stunned!

It's good to see reality even though it's painful - his covert 'theatre of war' is paper thin now and you cannot unsee it any more.
It's going to get worse if you try and fight the cognitive dissonance, so get out as soon as you can to avoid more pain.

He's just not worth any more of your time.
Well done for checking him out!

No. Saying he loves you is just how he talks to someone he wants to sleep with.

Im sorry oP but he’s just not worth the hassle.