To not cope at all with tiredness

[Caterpillarshoes]

Background, I have 3 children. One 2 year 10 month old girl and 18 month old boy/ girl twins. Excellent helpful husband. I work 3 days a week in a professional job.

I feel like I'm failing as a Mum as I can't tolerate tiredness. I've never been able to. I couldn't go clubbing as a student as I couldn't deal with the late nights. I've never been on a hen do etc because I couldn't deal with the exhaustion.

I sleep at least 8.5 hours per night. Last weekend I went to bed at 8:30 and slept 10 hours straight. I'm 39, a healthy size 8, eat well but not a fitness guru. I get exercise, sunlight etc. I have endometriosis but otherwise a clean bill of health. Had all the bloods, thyroid etc all fine.

I developed PND during the newborn phases as I was so tired. They weren't bad sleepers but I just could not do it and I never adapted to it.

Our children sleep 6:30-7am every day so I don't usually get broken sleep.

Twin girl has had an ear infection this week abd I've been getting 3/ 4 hours sleep the last few days. I cannot rally from it. Tonight I called my husband home from work as I literally couldn't function I was so tired. Even pre children I've had naps in the boot of my car at work/ pulled off motorways to sleep for 10 minutes. I literally cannot get up in the morning. I cannot tolerate being tired at all.

I can't be a good mum as I cannot function on lack of sleep. I become hysterical, emotional, literally have a full meltdown (not in front of the children obviously but I don't want them to wonder why I've gone to bed and left them with Daddy).

My usually patient husband is rightly at the end of his tether with my inability to cope with being tired.

I appreciate you have always been like this, but have you ever discussed with a GP or had your bloods checked?

OP you have a lot going on, it would test Mary Poppins.

The NHS thyroid test is rubbish try a private one.

Also you could consider seeing a functional doctor regarding energy, they’ll look at hormone testing, advise on best diet etc, rule out food intolerances. All of these contribute to tiredness, excessive sleep needs.

I know this sounds like I'm saying it to be humorous but I'm deadly serious. I drove my car round the back of the car park at work yesterday and climbed into the dog crate where I slept for 30 minutes on my lunch break. I woke up wondering what my life had become. I'm a professional middle aged Mum, asleep like a dog in a car park.

B12.
Don't bother with the NHS guidelines ..
See a specialist.
I was the same ... l now SI b12 once a week..( get from Germany ( 30 ampoules for £30). Look on FB b12 sites.
Changed my life.

Thank you all. Its affecting my mood as I feel like I'm failing as a Mum , being irritable all the time. I'm otherwise a great Mum, we do activities, I feed them well, they are safe and loved but I'm irritated by them as I'm always exhausted. I don't want to miss this special time. It took nearly 10 years to have them, I want to enjoy them.

Thank you.

Worth getting b12 blood tests as well as if you have pernicious anemia (as I have) you can’t absorb it so pills won’t work - I have 12 weekly jabs (NHS protocol could probably do with them more often).

Holy mother of fuck!!! The kids you've got. No wonder you're tired.

I've got one 2 and a half year old and only work two days a week and I'm permanently ruined. I've always liked a loooooooooooot of sleep. I've pulled over to sleep in my car before too while toddler napped in his car seat.

Do everything you can to sleep sleep sleep and when you're not sleeping, rest. If you can manage it hire a cleaner. Dinners can fuck off. Slow cooker and freezer meals. Bed early.

Look after yourself ❤️

I was exactly like this at this stage, I had a busy life and used to sometimes lie down on my office floor with a blanket over me (having locked the door!) or even fall asleep and dribble on my desk. Broken nights are a killer and with a three year old and two twins, you must be exhausted.

I agree with everyone to get obvious blood tests done, like anaemia and thyroid, just in case, but also be aware the limits in the UK are very generous and may not pick up sub-optimal results, so some googling and possible supplementation if it seems sensible is a good way to go.

Your body will be still recovering from having twins, and you don't bounce back the same for a good few years IMO, so I'm sympathetic.

Of course it's not great to meltdown, but it can feel overwhelming at times and your husband blaming you isn't helping further- it is normal for women/men to find child-rearing very tiring, even though you sleep ok, you are on duty all that time and working and running the house, and it just is tiring and it's not a competition.

I don't have great advice beyond saying I think this is normal!

Even if you were at peak physical health that combination (3 tiny children and a job) would be a lot!

But I think your constant struggle with tiredness does need more investigation. If you can, it might be worth going private if you can't get an NHS GP to listen

I spent my whole life struggling with tiredness and weakness. Being the butt of jokes or frustrations. I found out only a couple of years ago that actually I have a genetic condition that explains all my struggles

I had been to GPs on countless occasions but had always been told there was nothing wrong because my "blood tests were normal". Well yes, of course they were normal, they weren't testing for my condition!

(My condition is rare, congenital Myasthenic syndrome, but there is also the somewhat less rare Myasthenia Gravis, and there are of course many other conditions that can cause fatigue)

Thyroid. B12 deficiency or iron deficiency all have this.

So you have 3 under 3? That’s full on! No wonder you’re tired!

it sounds like your lifestyle is healthy so I’d be trying supplements to see if anyone helps. And tests as pp suggest. However, if you have always been like this, it may not change.

What does the private thyroid test have that nhs one doesn't please?

Iron, b12, vit D, thyroid and don’t listen to the NHS ranges. Esp iron as you’ve had twins. Worth supplementing vit D and iron (with a decent supplement, ones like spatone will maintain but not increase your level often). Also- make life as easy as possible with three very little ones, don’t expect too much of yourself so prioritise sleep and self care wherever possible.

I do have 3 under 3. An IVF miracle followed by a 2 for 1 surprise....

I definitely feel they are exacerbating a pre existing problem rather than my root cause though.

I think this was the motivation I needed to get more medical intervention. I so far feel fobbed off.

Why do you think it's rubbish?

I think when we have children it can drain some of our life force forever. I used to get my blood tested and it would be fine, but I can tell when I need iron and vitamins and I'm more tired at those times. I've been taking a vitamin supplement for 2 months and for the first time in my life my skin isn't really pale and the dark circles under my eyes have improved

(And eating green vegetables most days too )

Yep this was and is me.

I always wondered how the people who said just suck up tiredness managed because honestly I can fall asleep on trains, in my lunch break, and when my kids were small I regularly fell asleep in the afternoons.

No deficiencies. I also have endo.

It hasn't changed as I've got older either.

I had the same exhaustion from pretty much I got pregnant with my first child. At the age of 50 I was diagnosed with hypermobility and fibromyalgia which explains the exhaustion, but also many other symptoms I've suffered with since childhood.
Maybe have a read about these.

3 under 3 is a killer!

Can you get some help?

Watching thread with interest.

@wavingfuriously

There are two markers that the NHS routinely tests: TSH and T4. But to fully understand and treat the root cause of thyroid complaints, we often check other markers in your blood:

• T3 is the active part of the thyroid hormone. This test isn’t offered routinely on the NHS.
• Thyroid antibodies: There are many reasons why the body may start producing thyroid antibodies. Once this process starts, the antibodies attack the thyroid and affect its function which ultimately leads to thyroid autoimmunity. These markers include anti-thyroid peroxidase antibodies and anti-thyroid globulin antibodies.
• Reverse T3 levels: Reverse T3 mimics T3 in the body but does not perform the same function. It is influenced by high cortisol levels, which can arise from adrenal stress, heavy metal exposure, chronic illness and vitamin and mineral deficiencies.
• Free T3 and T4: This is the only portion of the hormone that exerts its effect at cellular level. It is important to consider this marker and it also gives an indication of sub-clinical manifestations of thyroid dysfunction.

Noone was judging you - I think it will be lovely for them all and especially when they get older!