To not cope at all with tiredness

[Caterpillarshoes]

Background, I have 3 children. One 2 year 10 month old girl and 18 month old boy/ girl twins. Excellent helpful husband. I work 3 days a week in a professional job.

I feel like I'm failing as a Mum as I can't tolerate tiredness. I've never been able to. I couldn't go clubbing as a student as I couldn't deal with the late nights. I've never been on a hen do etc because I couldn't deal with the exhaustion.

I sleep at least 8.5 hours per night. Last weekend I went to bed at 8:30 and slept 10 hours straight. I'm 39, a healthy size 8, eat well but not a fitness guru. I get exercise, sunlight etc. I have endometriosis but otherwise a clean bill of health. Had all the bloods, thyroid etc all fine.

I developed PND during the newborn phases as I was so tired. They weren't bad sleepers but I just could not do it and I never adapted to it.

Our children sleep 6:30-7am every day so I don't usually get broken sleep.

Twin girl has had an ear infection this week abd I've been getting 3/ 4 hours sleep the last few days. I cannot rally from it. Tonight I called my husband home from work as I literally couldn't function I was so tired. Even pre children I've had naps in the boot of my car at work/ pulled off motorways to sleep for 10 minutes. I literally cannot get up in the morning. I cannot tolerate being tired at all.

I can't be a good mum as I cannot function on lack of sleep. I become hysterical, emotional, literally have a full meltdown (not in front of the children obviously but I don't want them to wonder why I've gone to bed and left them with Daddy).

My usually patient husband is rightly at the end of his tether with my inability to cope with being tired.

Maybe you're just more sensitive to the effects of being tired than most people. That is definitely a thing. People have different tolerance levels and if you're already predisposed to functioning very poorly on lack of sleep it would make more sense that it's become even more of a problem now. That said, is definitely a good idea to start taking supplements especially b12 and a good b complex..

I think this is actually normal I felt the same with 3 young children / working full time and it's debilitating. There's not much respite but I found some help on a Saturday morning so I could catch up on sleep helpful. In time it does get better, my youngest (and last) now 3 and i miss the baby stage - amazing how your memory edits out the bad bits!

@JLT24 thank you, that's quite a list! are you a 'functional doctor' interesting..

@CassandraWebb B**y hell! you waited a long time to be diagnosed...spec if you were born with myasthenia, sorry you suffered like that.

Autoimmunes cause such fatigue and often not diagnosed until later in life. The bad news is that there isn't much to help with fatigue but at least you would know the reason. Often more common in women perhaps due to hormones. You would need to see a specialist and specifically check for autoimmune markers, which would not be in standard blood tests.

Do you eat well enough?As in get enough calories as I imagine you are burning through them each day.

Just to second everyone else about medical investigation. I also used to sleep 8-10 hours as standard and felt that I must be lazy to still be tired. As an adult, discovered I had a (severely) deviated septum, undiagnosed asthma and allergies. Meant that my sleep was really poor quality (akin to sleep apnea) so I slept a really long duration but always woke up feeling tired. I didn't realise that I woke up a lot during the night as I didn't fully come round, but I remembered lots of different dreams during in the morning, which apparently can be a sign of disturbed sleep as well as messed up sleep stages.

What were the results of your thyroid test?
Often a ths level over 4 will leave you really tired. However the nhs don't usually treat unless your ths is over 10. If over 4 or under 0.4 it is worth checking your antibodies to see if you have an auto immune disease.

Diagnosis was a huge relief, all of a sudden so many battles made sense. There are lots of different genetic forms and I have a fairly "mild form" (I've never had a crisis touch wood ) but diagnosis explained so many battles I had in life and why every illness makes me iller that everyone around me.

The hardest bit was being a mum to new babies and not understanding why I found it so hard to carry them (my arms are very weak), now I understand I am at peace but at the time I felt like I had failed my children!

Anyway as a result I feel very strongly that if people feel they are constantly battling more than everyone around them then there might be a real physical cause even if all the standard tests doctors run come back "normal".

Fellow endo sufferer here. I've always been exhausted too. It feels like you're just recovering from a period when another one starts.

Have your iron levels checked. We lose an awful lot of blood. Some people find the mirena coil helpful. I didn't, tbh, but it might be worth a try.

No, I copied this from a functional clinic page! I have seen a functional doctor when I was bed bound for a long time with fatigue and it really helped!

You’ve got too much going on, it works test anyone. I used to drive to the underground car park at the big Tesco (it was darker) and sleep in car.

Could you possibly be menopausal? Mine started at age 40 and I’d not that long popped a kid out. I definitely think you should see your GP or try and take some annual leave and get some rest.

Thirty minute Power Nap if you can fit in on your days, no more no less. Honestly without my thirty minutes I can't get through the day made a huge difference to my energy levels.

The endo will definitely be part, if not all of the problem.

The monthly pain and battling it means that your body never ever properly recovers.

Get a gynaecology referral and insist on a hysterectomy to solve the problem entirely. Currently a two year wait for hysterectomy on NHS, so get yourself on the list ASAP.

In the short term

• magnesium, b12 and vitamin d supplements, every day without fail
• give up alcohol, it just drains
• nap.at the weekends and just accept that you need more sleep than normal people
• acupuncture or reflexology both help to try and get the body to recover

Good luck, this is the worst point as all the children need you so much. It will get easier but do try and take action now