To think that you can load the dishwasher wrong?

[pontipinemum]

DH is terrible for loading the dishwasher 'badly' like a bowl taking up 4 plate slots instead of being put in the top where it can slot in at an angle with the other bowls. Plates in each of the 4 bottom sections, instead of all in 1 so that you can load all the plates in 1 area and the Pyrex dish (or whatever) in another.

I don't think he does it on purpose and I do say it to him but he just says he'll readjust it if needed, but he usually doesn't. Strangely he loves that we put the forks, knives, spoons etc into their own slot as 'it's so easy to unload now' yet the plates can be all over the place an a cup thrown in for good measure.

This of course is meant to be light hearted and before any point out that I have little to worry about I actually have loads to worry about but sometimes little things niggle!!

YABU - Loaded is loaded
YANBU - If you do it correctly your fit way more in

We once got the manual out in our house because each of us were convinced the other was loading it ‘wrong’ 😂
I (now) think though this is one of those things where, as long as it’s loaded and the stuff comes out clean, you just need to accept you do it differently. There really are bigger things to bother with tbh.

If all the stuff fit I wouldn't mind. But his way usually ends up leaving dishes etc in the sink because they don't fit and re adjusting it gets everything in.

Definitely can be loaded incorrectly. My OH puts them in in the most ridiculous way, not making efficient use of the space at all and sometimes even the wrong way up. He always tries to be helpful and load it (I never ask him to, because he does it wrong, so he just does it anyway) then me or DD have to unload it and do it again properly.

My husband is awful for this, ditto hanging laundry. I leave him to throw his own clothes over the line all crumpled, with no pegs so it falls off, doesnt dry properl.

He overpacks or underpacks the dishwasher so can't fit enough in or jams it in so tight it doesn't actually get properly cleaned, and then puts the not lean stuff away.

There is just no logic in his way!

You are definitely not unreasonable but I learned a long time ago that dishwasher loading is in the same category as “politics” and “religion” in our family (and I include my parents, DH and siblings in that). It’s best not to discuss if you are not up for a heated debate. Everyone has their own way of doing it and everyone is convinced their way is right.

It’s my job to load so in my house I’ll do it however I like

i think the simplest solution though is to set a rule that he gets to load however he wants but everything has to fit (or what doesn’t he washes by hand) and everything has to come out clean and if those two things aren’t being fulfilled then he needs to readjust so they do

it’s unfair to do a job in the house that leaves the other person with work to do

it’s like taking out a bin bag but leaving the other person to put the new one in and take it outside. It just leaves more work

Of course yanbu and anyone who agrees is clearly a sociopath

YANBU

Saw this thread and thought “omg.. my DH is on mums net” 😂 constant battle in our house. I’d love to interview someone who designs dishwasher racks; with my DH present!!!!

I even had an idea for a new product - modulable trays or racks to fit most dishwashers so people can stack even more efficiently!!!!!!!

Of course you can do it wrong. I have never known anyone who loads it correctly except for me!!

(I'm not even kidding. Sometimes, I honestly don't understand what goes through people's mind. How is a bowl supposed to get cleaned if it's sitting exactly on top of another bowl??????? It's not like the water has a pathfinder to find the mm wide gap between them...).

I'm getting ads for dishwashers!

He does leave the bin without a new bin bag too.

Glad I'm not alone, it's really not that I think the dishwasher has to be stacked 1 way and 1 way only but just in a way that fits in the most items would be good

My husband will say I can’t get everything in the dishwasher, I have a look, re-arrange a few bits & hey presto it all goes in! 🤷‍♀️

Big debate with us is whether the cutlery should be handle end up or down. I think down but apparently having the blade, or fork end upwards is a dangerous practice if someone falls on it. Which is, of course, a common household accident.

@Nonspecificcheese I'm afraid I remember a case some years back of a teenage boy who fell across the dishwasher, put his arms out and severed an artery because a sharp blade was sticking up, and died. Horrible.

It's common sense to point blades down and dishwasher manuals usually advise it.

On the original question- my DH (along with many men I know) thinks his loading is superior to mine,so he got the job! Win!

All cutlery up in my house but I have a table top dishwasher so it’s too high up to fall on!

I don’t watch it but happened to have eastenders on in the background a while ago and the episode was the one where a woman was murdered by her husband pushing her and she fell back on the open dishwasher and the kitchen knife facing up stabbed her in the back. It was actually horrible and I think of it every time I see a sharp knife facing up in a normal floor level dishwasher!

You can load it in a way that's less efficient than another way, or you can load it in a way that leads to wreckage. If things get broken because of how you've put them in, you loaded it wrong. In the case of the less efficient way, it's merely less efficient. If you can see a way you think is better and gets more in, you can suggest that and show it. It's still on the person loading the dishwasher to load it how they see fit. Maybe if things are left over when he loads it vs. when you load it, he can just wash the remainder by hand.

This is about the only issue me and DH regularly argue about. He thinks he's right because he was an engineer and did work study, and understands these things. I think I'm right because I can fit more in and it all comes out clean.

Its not weaponized incompetence, he's quite happy to do his share.

It does reflect out different fields of expertise though, he focuses on process, and I am more interested in outcomes.

According to DH yes, and I do it wrong. I just walk away when he starts reorganising it.....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iitdzRqsUZY

Unfortunately my dishwasher just blew a fuse twice...but I don't think that's down to how it's loaded.

DH is obsessed with having all the cutlery lined up neatly in the slots, all forks together facing the same direction, then all spoons etc.

It really annoys me as he has failed spectacularly to bring this vibe to any other aspect of his housekeeping “skills” which are crap at the best of times.

But oh yeah the cutlery all has to be ship shape 😑

That is awful!! I point them down so it is easier to take them out. But I absolutely will now. I have a toddler who likes to help me unload. I do take out the cutlery holder first and he just hands up plates/ bowls.

The only thing you can do wrong is point out when someone else has taken the time to load the dishwasher all the mistakes theyve made. Fuck. Off.

This is a constant theme in our house.

DH is a terrible dishwasher loader. No logic to it and he can have it full with half a dozen items. I have to rearrange it all and then get most of a day's stuff into it.

I've really no idea what goes through his head when he is doing this.

My DDs, by contrast, are fairly good at it.

This is one argument that never occurs in our house. Probably because I load the dishwasher and DH unloads/puts away! 😂

Nobody thinks anyone else does it correctly- have seen people move around other people’s organisation of plates/ bowls and cups etc at various occasions and myself and dh definitely do it differently and want to kill each other over this!! So yabu for thinking your way is best!!😉

My husband is an engineer so why doesn't he understand that water has to be able to reach all surfaces for them to get clean?
I've lost count of the number of times I've had to rearrange the bottom of the dishwasher because he's placed a saucepan on top of a lid or casserole dish!