Would I be the worst mum to drop a day at nursery for 1 year old?

[ShadowK]

Hi everyone,

DD is 20 months old and goes to nursery 3 days a week but money is tight and if I drop her down to 2 days then we'll have an extra £300 a month which obviously makes a big difference but I feel guilty for dropping a day when she loves it.

I'm planning on putting her back to 3 days when the 15 free hours kicks in for her in January but I don't know what to do really.

Is two days enough for her to still enjoy herself and learn?

Thanks

Absolutely drop the day at her age! I’m guessing you don’t need her to be there for work reasons?

Of course it is, lots of children don't go to nursery at all.

Are you confident the nursery will be able to accommodate you increasing back to 3 days in January? That's the only concern I'd have.

what do you currently do on that day when she’s in nursery that you’re considering dropping

At 1 nursery is more for childcare than learning so do what you need to, they'll still get to go for 2 days.

My just turned 2 year old isn't in nursery yet and developing really well, I have no concerns he's anyway behind other children his age who go to nursery. We only haven't put him in because we have Grandparent support and we weren't paying money for nursery when we didn't need to but he'll be going in September once he gets his free hours!

If you don’t need the childcare then so long as you’re doing things with her at home she doesn’t need nursery at all, especially at 20 months. Great to pay for some days if she enjoys it but if money was tight I wouldn’t give myself financial problems over it. Two days is perfectly fine.

I was a SAHM and only sent my children once they had free hours at age three - they enjoyed and learned from nursery, but no more than they enjoyed and learned from toddler groups, going on the bus, walks around the shops, picnics, parks, playing with toys etc etc at home with me.

so would you have to stop working on that day? that doesn’t seem sensible if money is tight or alternative free childcare available?

20 months? Surely she’d be better off at home, if that’s an option. I can’t imagine wanting to put a child that age in nursery unless I had no choice.

the 15 hours for 9month+ kicks in from September. You should be able to apply for your code soon

Will it be worth it for the sake of a couple of months?

OP says she loves it though…

Are you planning to work and look after her at the same time?

out of pure nosiness would you say this to your DD or DS if they were in this situation re your grandchild?

i am curious re what the OP is currently doing on this day she’s considering dropping.

If working… what will you do for childcare?
if not…. then better keeping her in and looking for work if money is tight

i could be wrong but i have a feeling the OP won’t be back 🤷

Thank you everyone.

I work part time as I'm a carer for my older child, he's on a part time timetable at a special school but when he comes home can be unpredictable unfortunately hence being a bit tight on money.

The days she's at nursery would be the days I work but I put her in for an extra day as I guess I was being bit selfish and just wanted a day to clean the house, go shopping, chores I struggle to do with both kids but absolutely could do with just her but I'd also find time to take her out to a soft play or something on the day she's off.

She will be far better off at home with you than in a nursery and as other posters have said, many children don't go to nursery at all.

she you say on the days she is in you work… is that caring for your son (which yes i know is work)? so what happens on your day off re your son… at school?

what does your partner think?

Sounds like you’ve got quite a lot on and that extra day without kids might be much needed breathing room!

Definitely fine to take her out, definitely fine to keep her in- it’s all about what’s best for you and your family Id say

@Horseebooks nails it

Of course it is. None of my kids went to any sort of pre school or nursery, they just started reception at 4. They’re now well rounded sociable young adults.

She'll be very happy hanging out with you!

If you can’t afford it then it will be fine to take her out.

If you can find the money to afford it I think it would be beneficial to keep her there for all of you.

You sound like you have so much on and trying to get things done with a young child about is twice as hard. Things slip and that can have an impact on your mental health. Having the day to yourself allows you to get everything in order, and then spend quality time with your child when you are happy and more relaxed. Especially as she seems to love nursery.

I would think the average 20 month old would love 1 day a week dedicated to just them and their mama cleaning the house and doing the grocery shop together. I drag my 2 year old around on all my chores and we have the best time chattering about nonsense. It's great for their language too - a whole day of you talking through what you're up to.

So I understand it might not be ideal for you but I definitely don't think it would make you a bad mother!