To wonder if it's possible to have a baby in a tiny property?

[TinyTigress]

Currently living with in laws and looking to move out asap. We've been looking for ages and can't get anywhere. The only rentals we can find are mostly one beds with small bedrooms and we've also managed to view a two bedroom but again the bedrooms were both tiny. Even upping our original budget by £2/300 hasn't helped, properties just go so quickly and we can't really afford any more on the rent given we also want to start TTC soon.

Is it actually possible to have a baby in a tiny flat? We just want to find somewhere we can fit double bed, next to me and some storage in the room but that doesn't seem possible in the current rental market. Obviously won't be TTC until we find somewhere but it's so hard at the moment.

TBH, at your age I would just go for it. You never know, it might take years to conceive. The conditions will never be ideal, you will manage and find a way.

Practical tip - be really, really, strict on clutter. Hard with a baby! Keep toys at grandparents, whatever you need to have minimal stuff in a tiny place.

Plus there are more positive prospects for childcare on the horizon if we have a change of Government this year. If you work in the NHS hopefully your baby will be a priority for one of the 100,000 new childcare spaces.

https://labour.org.uk/updates/stories/labours-plan-for-childcare-and-early-education/

Gosh yes re funding. Absolutely relying on the next government to keep with the 15 hours funding as that pushes it from "completely not affordable unless we just live in a caravan" to "okay this is manageable". 30 hours free would be amazing but not holding my breath on that front.

Just checking you know what NHS mat pay is? It's enhanced but not great, I imagine you'd still be better off working FT and paying childcare than on mat pay (although this depends on your band I guess). I'm the same age but childfree by choice, if I was desperate for a baby I think I'd just start trying tbh. The years fly by

Would you honestly choose to not have kids if you couldn't buy? Because that would be the reality of that choice for many people. Renting can be absolutely hell but it can also be fine. We've been in one place for 13 years, no issues, three kids. I wouldn't have chosen to not have them in order to buy a house

Yes I've checked the pay, thanks! My commute costs quite a bit at the moment so with the high childcare costs around here we are better off when I'm on mat leave as I wouldn't be paying the money to travel so our outgoings reduce quite a bit. I walk a lot so I'd be happy to just walk places with baby and stay local instead of public transport / car. I know what you mean about the years flying by. Thought I'd have two kids by now but circumstances changed and here we are. Definitely not comfortable trying at my in laws - for starters they're always in so alone time is well, limited. We used to live in a cheaper area but I checked last night out of curiosity and even there has no 2 bed properties available at the moment so even moving back there isn't an option as things currently stand.

This is MN where every child has their own bedroom. We started out in 3 rooms,shared bathroom. Bought a 2 bedroom caravan, a metal box not a fancy park home. We actually bought it for weekends, but we lived above a jewellery shop,ex H was a Horologist. Burglary (there was NO bathroom there)woman closed the shop,no notice,so we had to move into the caravan. Stayed there for 5 years,then used the sale of it, for a deposit for our first house. In the 60s,DH after divorce of his parents,lived with his paternal GM, 2 bed converted flat,him brother, father shared a double bed, sister and GM shared the other bed. Kitchen facilities was a cooker on the landing.

I'm in a tiny (40 sq ft) 1-bed with a 10 month old (also NHS and found the mat 'pay' a killer). We've been fine till now but we're struggling at the moment. My (huge) partner has to sleep on the sofa with me in the bed with the baby if we're are to get any sleep. He won't sleep in a cot and we've no room for a floor bed. Partner also WFH so we struggle in the daytimes too. We own it though so at least don't have to worry about landlord selling up etc (looking to move currently). As others have said, baby just needs a roof over its head and you, but I think you will find life easier with a bit more room.

Where do you live that's so unaffordable for 2 working people?

I think if you're serious you should look to relocate and purchase a property. A mortgage will likely be less than rent and you'd be paying off something you own instead of throwing money away. If you work for the NHS you could move anywhere that has a hospital.

Babies don't need much space but babies quickly become toddlers who go stir crazy in one room and need to roam, and their massive toys take over every inch of space.

Of course it's possible, I had a family of 5 living above me in a one bed flat.... (parents 3 kids)

NHS mat pay is better than a lot but I could only live on it for 6 months before using savings. Saying that I have decided to stay in the NHS until I'm finished having babies but compress my hours to full time in 4 days and do some private work on the side to top up my income. As I'm already doing it and will be during the qualifying period I can still do some private work during mat leave without it impacting my maternity pay or needing to go back from mat leave early to pay the bills.

I can't comment much on having a baby in a tiny apartment as have a three bedroom house and expecting baby no.2 and feel we're struggling for space. It's all relative to what you're use to though I suppose.

We live in the south east. Tried living in a cheaper area but really struggled with not having family / friends support and had to move back. It's crazy how much more expensive it is here.

I agree with PP that it's probably not the baby stage but the toddler stage where you'll want more space.

That's what I'm thinking of doing re staying in the NHS until we're done (probably one and done tbf), compress hours to 4 full days and then move private when DC a little older (i.e. my return to work after mat pay obligation is fulfilled). I hadn't actually thought of doing work on the side, that's a good shout! Does it only work if you've already started it before going on mat leave? I'm sure there's something in my contract about doing extra work.

Of course it's possible. How do you think most people in London manage? A small 2 bed should be fine. Many posters on MN would lead you to believe you need a mansion but you'll manage.

Personally I feel it is do-able but if possible I would prioritise finding a flat near a park /open space, library and ideally where you will be able to access baby groups etc. Living in a relatively small space with a baby is ok (currently in a flat with a one year old and 5 year old and husband), but you will need to go out for your sanity and the baby's. I wouldn't plan to move when the baby is 6 months, sounds stressful.

We had an extra bedroom set up for our daughter since birth and she's only just started sleeping in there at 2 years old (and not even all night).
So that scenario would give you around 3 years from now to afford a bigger home.
Really hard to plan for anything like this as the amount of space you need (or want), could vary depend on a few different factors

I am not sure I agree that childcare costs are a short term financial burden. If you have a lot of family help, sure, it's manageable.

Realistically, childcare before school is actually easier, and not that much more expensive. It's full time, open pretty much every day of the week.

Once they start school, if you add the wrap around care AND the sick days, all the holidays, the various days off, and your wish to assist to at least a one of 2 school thing - sports day, nativity... It doesn't work out that much cheaper, and the kids start to cost a lot more.

@TinyTigress It's taken me a while to figure out!

If you do the private work in a completely self employed capacity you can do it at any time without impacting your maternity pay. That includes picking some up during maternity leave if you haven't done any before.

I have a limited company and so have to be on pay roll in the qualifying period (25th week of pregnancy and the 8 weeks leading up to it) in order for it to not impact my maternity leave.

If the private work is with another employer you also have to be on pay roll for them in the qualifying period. You can also go back to one job before the other then.

https://workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/what-work-can-you-do-during-maternity-adoption-parental-leave/
https://maternityaction.org.uk/advice/rights-for-parents-with-more-than-one-job/

With non mobile babies it’s fine but it gets harder as they get more physically confident and want to run, jump etc and you become paranoid about others in the flat being disturbed- especially in the early mornings.

Very possible. We were in a 1 bed flat, though the bedroom was a decent size double. He was in a cot next to me and I out his clothes in my wardrobe. Honestly, they really don't need a lot especially in the early days. As long as they have a warm safe place to sleep, and are fed and loved all the rest is bells and whistles. You just have to be really savvy with space saving and organisation. They start needing more space and become more expensive when they get to about 6-9m.

Yeah we had our first in a 1 bed flat as did most of our friends and family. I can't see what the problem would be with one baby or younger child I would say we went out a lot (children's centre, park, met up with friends) and I always joke they were late to crawl / walk because there was nowhere to go! Much easier to clean, baby proof, hear the baby without monitor, no stress.

We lived in a one bedroom flat in Essex when my eldest was born and moved when she was one. Of course it's fine.

I raised 3 in a 2 bed flat above a shop and was small but cheap.
Pluses were that it was cheap to heat in winter and had no issues with noisy neighbours as the shop below shut at 5pm.
Space wise it taught me to not buy too much baby stuff/toys which isn't needed anyway and to be a bit clever with storage and versatile furniture ( sofa bed,room dividers, fold away dining table etc).
As the kids grew we enjoyed picnics in a local park which to them seemed like the world's biggest garden and we mainly managed even though our own outdoor space would have undoubtedly been more convenient.
Minuses were always carrying a buggy and shopping upstairs, and on rainy days it was a bit claustrophobic with 3 kids in a tiny flat...but the affordability of our living arrangements meant we had a little bit left for fun things which balanced it out.

what kind of budget are you looking at? Can you get more for budget moving to the next town over?

For example my parents live in South east. It’s really expensive near where they live now, but about 30-45 mins away you get get places a fair bit cheaper ( they are on coast and holiday destination)

I had my DD when in a tiny back to back house, the kitchen was in the living room which was barely big enough to fit a sofa and coffee table, the second bedroom was the size of a double bed and the first wasn't that much bigger. It took a lot of housework, a lot of sorting out and getting rid of things but I really loved that house. It was fine really just a bit much at times if I couldn't keep on top of the upkeep as usual because of being ill or something.