To ask how you would split budget for this holiday

[StellaGibson2022]

Hello all,

Just seeking some ideas to see if there is a better way of splitting a spend budget for a holiday.

Me and my DC are going away with a close family member. We have done all inclusive previously but this year we are going self catering.

In the past we have had a kitty for incidental spends which was okay but two things happened which irritated me slightly:

• daily I was told that I had not budgeted enough for each day; but
• at the end of the holiday what was left in the kitty was ‘borrowed’ by the close relative for a spend up at the jewellers. I wasnt reminbursed and it was was probably only about £100 so not a huge amount.

However I am naturally frugal (not tight but as a single parent I obviously am on a budget). I like to make considered purchases and am trying to teach my DC the same. I like to plan ahead slightly so that I dont waste money on unexpected spends. Holidays for me are about the pool, sight-seeing, the beach and of course eating out/food.

The thing is I like to have a drink (close family member ‘doesnt need a drink to have a good time’) and I like to treat my DC. We are on holiday!

I am thinking that this time I dont want to pool all my spends into a kitty though and I am not sure why. Last time I felt bad when I wanted to buy DC something or when I was having a drink etc.

As we are self catering we will buy bits for breakfast and snacks, drinks for the apartment etc etc. Day trips usually come out of the kitty too.

How do you all budget and split spends? Basically I want a budget for the kitty and then my own spends and dont want to buy souvenirs, jewellery or trinkets out of the kitty. Nor gifts to take home for other family members…

AIBU to ask how you would approach this? Close family member is both reckless with money and extremely sensitive…

Thanks - really good advice.

Re previous kitty - we were all inclusive so no spend for food or drinks. To be honest they have always been this way so I think this is why I asked the question.

Im erring towards kitty for apartment essentials and then splitting eats 2/3 to me etc. souvenirs and trinkets from own spends.

Despite my post I am looking forward to going away!

How do you all budget and split spends?

I would simply avoid any situation where there was any question of a shared budget with anyone who acted as you described your 'close family member' to have done.

Sorry, not helpful but just can't imagine going on holiday again with them, especially a/c where there will be more engagement required.

Ok now I'm really confused, if you were all inclusive on your last holiday what did you have a kitty for? I've never heard of a kitty being for anything other than food and drink!

One of the first thing I would do is separate the drink budget... alcohol is much more expensive usually and not fair for a non drinker to pick up that cost. Budget for food, snacks icecreams etc., if you need to have a kitty, and agree that if anything left at the end to be shared equally, no ifs or buts. Not paying you back wasn't good.

Do not have a kitty.

You have spends for you and DC.
Let DC have daily spends for buying ice cream, treats, toys etc (depending how old they are)
The other person has their own money.

You buy anything specific that DC likes - cereals, snacks, drinks etc. Then all other food shopping for the apartment is split 50/50.

Pay separately for trips.
If you're eating out ask for separate bills or place separate orders.

Food and loo roll kitty for apartment you pay 60% she pays 40%. Meals out both pay their share so you pay for yourself and DD, DM pays for herself. Never really done or heard of anything like this. It must be exhausting calculating numbers on holiday.

Kitty for food, end of.

This sounds about right...

No Kitty, I couldn't stand doing it this way, just each pay for your own things

Of course you don’t buy souvenirs etc out of the kitty, that’s crazy. Use the kitty only for joint expenses eg bread, chicken breasts, pasta etc to make the shared meals. Buy your own alcohol if the other person won’t be sharing it. When you’re out for the day buy your own ice creams, lunch etc rather than using the kitty.

Would agree a set daily amount for the kitty which you and she would put in each day not as a lump sum. Each day check what's left in kitty and just top up to the agreed daily amount. I would also buy my own alcohol for myself and drinks ice creams etc for DC. That way you have more control. If she isn't happy with this arrangement. Then any food shopping split bill 50/50. TBH I probably wouldn't be going on holiday with her as she seems entitled. I would be furious that she spent the remaining kitty money on herself so total selfish and out of order.

Do your self catering shop together and split that 3 ways (or by however many of you are going). Anything else meals out, drinks, gifts, trips etc pay for yourselves. Sorted.

I’d never in a million years have a kitty. If you are buying shared things then you pay 1/2 or 2/3 of those costs depending if they are adult only or used by everyone. Bring your own snacks etc in your suitcases too.

I go away with family ever year and we’ve never done kitty’s if we go for a meal we’ll take turns paying or split the bill.

tell the person that you are fully on board with the kitty for shared items ( food for SC that everyone will use, trips etc) but you might feel better if you say it to them like you have in your post, that you want to be free to spend your money on whatever you like without feeling bad, that if you want wine with dinner that you'll pay for your portion of the bill, and if they start moaning i'd just tell them to mind their own. just top up the shared kitty every other day for whatever the day activity is and don't over commit. The fact that you weren't 'reimbursed' for money used last time suggests to me YOU should take charge of the funds. and is she says anything about that, remind her what happened last time.

We’ve not long come back from a big family holiday with 2 other sets of family members. Stayed in an apartment. We didn’t have a kitty, but went round the supermarket together and split the food. We paid for the mince one night, one paid for the pasta and sauce and the other the pudding. We’re a family of 4 rather than the others who were just couples so I didn’t mind contributing more. We bought the milk and shared it because none of the other people used it like we would. We probably spent more on the food for the apartment but there were more of us (and they provided invaluable childcare 😂). When we went out we all just paid for what we had eaten.

Didn’t stop comments on what we were spending throughout the holiday (which is awful to be done) but without a kitty I knew we were just spending our own money and whatever we wanted to spend we could. I’d have hated spending anyone else’s if we’d put it in a kitty 😂

Kitty should be for joint spending only. Any extra bits on top you each spend separately

Tell she already owes the kitty £100 form last time

Prebook as many activities as you can, or reserve the cost if possible

Split self catering grocery shop

Have your own money for souvenirs, snacks, extras

The whole kitty situation doesn't make sense in this case: you just buy your own bits. Depending on age/reasonability, I'd also prefer to give the DC some cash to budget themselves for souvenirs/icecream ect

Do a big food shop when you get there and split it 50/50. The rest including eating out you pay for what you spend