To find what’s happened to Michael Mosley quite anxiety provoking

[Glasto73lover]

It’s that idea of never really knowing what’s going to happen- the idea that we walk such a fine line in life. If you think too much about it, you probably wouldn’t leave the house.!

A close family member died suddenly and tragically a decade ago - literally dropped dead at home age 48 - something went pop in their head. So you genuinely don’t know when your time is up.

It’s that idea of a chain of consequence that can go so horribly wrong too- people always say ‘oh but you could get hit by a bus’ - stuff like this actually makes me really anxious. So many what ifs.

For Michael Moseley - a chain of probably inconsequential decisions may have led to his death- not having a phone on him, choosing to undertake a walk that in the U.K. is nothing but in that heat, was devastating and probably caused his death.

It makes me anxious that I won’t know if I am making those decisions - am I making sense? I think as I have got older, I have become more anxious and risk averse (thanks menopause) and as a result, you could end up not leaving the house. How do you choose a sensible approach? Not too much risk but some!

But I also want to live my life too!! I guess I find incidents like this quite difficult!

I guess always having a phone, not undertaking walks in intense heat in an unfamiliar place etc are the common sense points that will come out of this tragedy.

Aibu to find it anxiety provoking tho?!

Really?

He made a series of unwise choices.

It's very sad but it looks as if it was an over estimate of his own ability to cope with the heat and lack of preparation for a walk in that heat with almost no water.

Saying this doesn't detract from it being a tragedy and if anything, if he was around to advise people like he's been doing, it's likely he' d say the same.

Well I don’t even ask her anymore since I know she’s always short of money for these things ( partly because her partner spends all his money on weed so she pays for most household things ) and just won’t come.

But she still bangs on about what we’ll do when the kids are adults - trips to Japan, Korea etc as she loves the culture (I’ve already been to both countries myself) and short breaks to Ireland and other places in the UK. She sounds envious/wistful hearing about other peoples trips.

Thankfully my friends are quite direct, a simple no suffices for most things. No pressure no fuss.

So, no - I don’t think she shares your dislike of spa holidays and girls trip and is just “being polite”.

That's an astonishing reaction from the people around you. How bizarre.

I'm guessing he has visited Symi before? He must have been pretty confident he knew which way to return to the accommodation. I can only assume he became disoriented due to a medical event.

True to some degree but there was a father and son killed hillwalking together in Scotland less than a month ago……

There are no guarantees in this life, and I think there’s a lot of truth in the comment that @WoodForTreesSeeing made that “bad stuff happens”.

To keep the thread on the topic of the OP’s anxiety.

OP there are many ways to avoid certain risks and we all avoid risk to some degree e.g. look up and down before crossing a road. When anxiety kicks in risk avoidance can reach degrees that are life limiting e.g. not leaving the house.

You can take sensible precautions day to day and there are also some high risk activities eg extreme sports you can chose to avoid. Otherwise keep yourself healthy and try to enjoy life.

Dr MM struck me as a very happy man. He certainly lived a good life and I hope that will be a comfort to his family.

I find comfort on the idea that when it is your time is your time and when it is not, it is not.

Simply put, you can’t control fate, therefore take good care of yourself but don’t make it an obsession, live each day well and as it was the last because you never know what’s around the corner.

Sure, but every single one of us can reduce risks to some causes of death, and it is naive at best to pretend otherwise.

There are some things you can't control, but simple things like letting people know where you are (if you're going somewhere unexpected), being aware of your environment and what you can do to protect yourself, ie, keep doors locked if on own, it's dark - take a bus rather than a 40min walk, telling DP if you change your anticipated destination, and as we've all learnt - a drink, phone and evaluating if you can really cope with the elements, extreme cold/heat.

Dr Mosley was a risk tolerant man, he wasn't foolish though. I wish I could be more risk tolerant.
I don't think he made a poor choice per se, I think he simply got lost in incredibly challenging circumstances. No one 'expects' to die of a stroll on an idyllic sunshine island.

In terms of anxiety over our own everyday safety, I don't fear sudden death at all. In fact I hope that's how I go, because I do fear knowing I'm dying (eg through terminal illness). I have quite a troublesome fear of the latter tbh, having saw a couple of people suffer in their final months. One of them only in her early 40's.

I do hill walking in the UK and even in our relatively benign climate have had one walk (8 miles, unexpectedly hot at 24 degrees) where 2 litres of water between two of us wasn't enough. Another walk we had to phone my husband to collect us after a couple of miles because in mid-summer, temperatures plummeted and there was driving wind and rain (not in the forecast). Fortunately the path crossed a road so he could pick us up. I have found it very hard to understand how MM thought it was ok to walk several miles in 40 degree heat with a small bottle of water. As someone who likes to plan carefully it is anxiety making to think that a decision to go for a walk could lead to such tragic consequences.

Even in the UK, if you go for a walk you should tell someone where you're going and the expected time you'll be back. This is extra important when it's a solo walk, even young people die on solo walks when they trip and get e.g. a head injury and there's no one around to help them/ no one knows exactly where they are or what time to start looking. Confident hikers get too complacent and stop doing these things but they are important every time.

@WoodForTreesSeeing - that's very interesting. I agree that we are fed so much information these days about health and wellbeing (amongst other things) that we approach life as an exam whereby if you have put in the work then you will achieve the result you deserve.

I think we have been deceived in thinking that we are in control of our bodies, when in reality whilst we can mitigate some things with adoption of a "healthy lifestyle", very many things are out of our control.

Perhaps the decline in religious faith (in some Western societies) has left a vacuum in which this flourishes. I certainly feel bombarded by messages about how to avoid a myriad of diseases or natural ageing processes not to mention "not looking your age" via botox, skincare, hair dye etc.

Sorry if that got a bit deep for this thread.

My sympathies are with his family and friends💐

Older single women as I know very well often get abandoned by their married friends after the husband has gone. It takes time but in couple of years she will be lonely
The utter stupidity of the whole thing made me feel sick and depressed

Good grief. Clare Mosley lost her husband less than a week ago and already you're predicting for her a lonely and friendless widowhood and probably hunched over a single bar electric fire as well crying over the last time she saw anybody.

Get a grip. She has fulfilling work, children and probably lots of supportive friends and colleagues.

There is no evidence, so far, that heat played any part in his death.

That is pure speculation and, IMO, more than a little tasteless.

This too. My husband died of an incurable cancer. It fills me with rage when people say that xxx "lost the battle" with their terminal illness....as though if they had fought harder, done better they would still be alive, would have somehow been healed.....that somehow dying of an incuable disease is the person's fault......but this.....this could have been avoided.

It's so sad.

As much as it might comfort us to believe that we have no control over our lives and deaths, and that there really is a Grim Reaper out there with a list, I don’t think any of us can deny that Dr Mosley died because he made a series of unwise decisions that, unfortunately for him, turned out catastrophically. I’m sure his wife and kids will be tormented by that for the rest of their lives - if only he hadn’t gone for that walk, if only he’d had his phone, if only the weather hadn’t been so scorching, and so on.

His time wasn’t up. That’s what makes it so sad.

Intelligent people are usually very curious, I can well imagine my Dad doing this, he is well travelled, lived in different countries where it is very hot and is a spontaneous person. DH and a friend actually did something similar to MM on a Greek Island and got a bit lost with no water on them at all, it was a bit over 20 years ago so I don’t think it was 40 degrees but still. They were ok but panic did set in, perhaps over confident 20 year olds that saw it as an adventure and it didn’t cross their mind to tell anyone where they were going as they didn’t have any intention of taking a different route when they set out.

I agree, it may have been due to a heart attack or other medical event and we simply don't know at this point whether he may have had the same outcome whilst sitting on the sofa watching TV or remaining with his family at dinner.

I think there is some comfort on the fact that he died whilst doing something he enjoyed and it was relatively quick, he did not have long painful time dealing with the complications of diabetes like his father which may have been the outcome if he had been a less active and health conscious individual.

And although had mobile phones in 2003 they would have be no use on this walk. I am not sure if their age was on their side as obviously MM was 67 but I would imagine so.

Must say I feel the same, especially as it’s the kind of daft thing dh could easily have done not so long ago - I think (hope!) that at 76 he’s got more sense now.

The fact was in an interview a month ago he said that his own father died suddenly in his 60s and he feared that the same thing would happen to him. It did, it was genetic despite his living healthy. Anger is natural at first but it wasn’t his fault.

We were in Greece last week and an extreme heat warning was issued by the Greek weather office. It was 37 degrees at times.