OH has covid and he's not arsed if the rest of us get ill

[PercyThePigsMum]

My OH has a certain virus 🙄 I've put this here as I do feel it's an AIBU.

I can't help but be annoyed at how he doesn't take any care to try and prevent passing things on to the rest of us. Me and several small children.

When I've had a stomach bug, for example, I make sure to give the bathroom door handles a spray and wipe down after I've been in there etc, I don't use other peoples cups, I try not to breath in the children's faces, I up my hand washing.

He does none of that. He does absolutely nothing to try to prevent other people getting ill.

He's fine but then he always is, he has a terrific immune system. Me not so much.. and now I'm starting to feel quite ill. I have to cancel an important dentist appointment for tomorrow as I'll feel like shit.

He'll be back to work tomorrow whilst I will inevitably struggle for the next week or so and deal with the meltdowns that come when DS becomes ill.

Am I being unreasonable to feel this way?

Why on earth did he even test? Nobody has tested for years. If he had a cold, you'd just let him crack on - this is no different. Even NHS staff go into work with Covid. Please leave the poor guy alone, so that everyone can just go about their normal days.

He tested because he had a temperature of 40 and wanted to rule it out before he made a doctors appointment as he thought he had a throat infection that would need AB's.

I haven't bitched and moaned at him and I've kept my feelings to myself, don't worry. It's just a niggling frustration.

I'll give my head a wobble if folks think I'm being unreasonable.

What would you expect him to do? Isolate in one room?

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. Even with a common cold it’s just courteous to wipe things down and limit the spread of disease where possible. Covid just made people more aware of what they should already have been doing. If your immune system is generally weaker, as DS’s will be too, it’s just a bit selfish of him to not even try.

I have covid and am feeling terrible. I am staying in one room, and taking a dettol wipe with me to the bathroom, and wiping everything I have touched after. of course I am, why wouldnt I? Why would I risk anyone else getting as ill as I am? And more workplaces disrupted by people needing time off

Wash his hands occasionally, not try to kiss me, not be nose to nose with our 2yo when he's playing with him. Nothing extreme and certainly nothing more than most people do when they have any sort of cold.

I'm certainly not advocating for masks and moving him out but don't most people try to keep their colds to themselves? If not then why not?

yes of course they do. It is normal human decency, at home or at work

Definitely not unreasonable to expect him to take basic measures not to pass it on.

even with a common cold I’d expect basic being careful. Nobody wants his germs so he should at least try and keep them to himself.

Thank you free and sixty and others because I was second guessing myself for a minute. It's just basic courtesy isn't it?

I really hope you feel better soon Sixty. The last time I had it was truly miserable too so I'm full of dread atm. Hopefully you won't have to be laid up for too much longer.

What is he doing or not doing specifically that is spreading the virus?

Are you actually ill or just think you will get ill?

COVID is irrelevant, if you have any virus you should do what you can to stop the spread. We are lucky enough to have a spare room and if one of us is sick we sleep there to minimise the chance of infection

The point is, it's not a covid thread - I think the OP is saying it doesn't matter what sickness her DP has, he is crap at basic hygiene and not passing on his germs to others/the rest of the family.

Which, yes, is thoughtless and crap IMO.

What do you mean he's fine, you mean his symptoms aren't very bad?

Thank you!

Yeah it's not about covid itself, replace covid with any other virus and my POV remains the same.

As above, I don't expect him to do anything that most people don't do when they have any other cold or bug.

He just doesn't think about trying to avoid passing it on when actually I think most people do?

Yes that's what I mean.

He had a sore throat and a high temperature for about 24 hours but now he says he feels fine.

It's a shitty way to behave. I've recently recovered from covid and I was terribly ill for a week, I stayed away from my family as much as possible because I just didn't want them to catch it and feel as horrible as I did.

My other half slept into spare room and we kept apart as much as possible. Nobody else in the house caught it.

I tested for covid because I knew from experience how rotten it can be and I didn't want to pass it on to anyone , especially vulnerable people.

she has said, he is wanting kisses, not washing his hands, and getting right up into the face of his child. None of this is acceptable behaviour with any infection, a cold, flu, covid, whatever

It’s about respect. Whether it’s a cold, covid or a tummy bug, people who respect you as an equal do give a shit if you get ill. Arseholes who feel they are superior to you don’t give a shit. After all you are there to look after the kids if they get ill, it won’t bother him. Dick.

I bet this isn’t the only area in which he’s selfish is it OP? Where he doesn’t treat you as an equal?

Covid is extremely contagious and the chances are if one family member has it others will get it, regardless of precautions. YABU.

Wow, do you actually buy tests and keep them in, didn’t know anyone was still testing.

Washing hands, not sneezing in people's face is basic manners.
Not being respectful is not acceptable.

It makes no difference if it's covid or something else. Most people don't test, you are just as likely to catch it from schools, public transports, supermarket without even noticing.

This reads so bad, like “please tell me how bad your marriage is” 😂

The things you've asked him to do are not unreasonable. That's just basic courtesy with any illness

Opps it does it bit! Sorry OP. But respect is either there or not, not usually selective.