To not give builders food

[ThiswillDoItsfine]

Help me settle this difference of opinion. I have a company coming out in 3 weeks time to install a lot of fencing. I mentioned to dh that I will get them coffee, tea, and biscuits/cookies in to have with drinks. Dh is saying just the drinks is fine, and for me to just offer it as and when. The job is going to take 2 days. I want to give the men something to eat as well, at the very least.
DH is then saying he doesn't want them trailing through the house, which I do understand. However, I was going to set a table outside with a flask, tea bags, coffee, milk & sugar, and bowl of biscuits so that they could help themselves. I thought this would be less restricting and mean that they can get it when they want, without waiting for me to ask. I also think it saves me running around when i have a child to look after. DH is saying that this is well over the top.

Is this okay? Or is it wrong i set this up outside for them? It is an outdoor job, so I thought it would be easier all around, and they'll be working hard.

Thank you.

What if the cafe hates workmen using their loo too? What if they don’t buy anything from the cafe and just waltz in to use their toilets. Is that acceptable???

If you book tradesmen to do work on your property you should have some common decency to allow them to use your toilet. Jesus wept.

What does the fact that they’re Romanian have to do with anything? Why can’t you just say two workmen clearing the garden took the biscuit pack with them. What does their nationality have to do with anything?

They usually bring their own thermos/water/food.

@Mig25 - I was following from another poster further up that found 'in general' the British workpeople would have tea/coffee/biscuits, whereas Eastern European workpeople 'in general' thought it odd and always bought along their own. Apologies I didn't link their post to add the context and didn't mean to cause any offence.

Seriously? These workers are human beings, not animals, who can go wee in a bottle in their van if they need to. What if they need to go for a poo? I suppose they should carry around an ice cream bucket for that?I can’t believe your DH actually said that. I’d be totally embarrassed if I were married to such a turnip of a man.

DH is saying they'll have a bottle in their van if they need a wee, and they will be driving off for breaks and can go in supermarket around corner. 😩

Does your husband piss in a bottle at work himself when there is an adequate toilet nearby? Fuckin hell.

That is a last resort for someone working on the move/on the road, disgraceful to even think about having someone step away from your perfectly available toilet in order to piss into a bottle in the back of a van.
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My DH is self-employed in construction and I know he definitely has a bottle in his van, but I wouldn't dream of not allowing any workers to use our toilet. I also offer intermittent cups of tea/coffee if I'm about, and would allow them access to the kettle if I wasn't. I use plant-based milk though and the majority decline. No bacon butties either sorry 🤣.

Your h sounds a bit selfish and thoughtless. Is he always like this??

On a very hot day, I offer the Amazon man water. It never hurts to be nice

Your husband is not a kind customer. Most trades will not use your toilet, but would love a cup of tea/coffee biscuit, or cold water, that's being kind. They aslo don't want to many breaks as they want to get on get finished and paid, a kind working relationship goes far.

Your DH is a knob.

Please let them know they can use the downstairs loo and provide a tea tray, that's much more civilised!

Would always do tea/coffee, never have biscuits in the house. We use the same builder all the time so would probably offer a slice of cake etc if it had been a birthday. That’s our limit.

I was brought up to be hospitable to trades people- offer tea, coffee, snacks and even send them home with beer/ bottle of wine. My DH thought I was nuts when we first had trades people; he does not offer anything (and his extended family is in trades); I did notice that all of them bring their own flasks of hot drinks , water and lunch coolers so guess he’s not being unreasonable.

I had a lot of work done a couple of years ago. Some of it was inside, some outside. For the inside work I pointed them towards the kettle/tea/coffee and said to help themselves (the work was in the kitchen and I put out mugs I didn't care about). For the outside work there was only one man - we offered tea/coffee when we were making it for ourselves. We also had a pasty delivery once a week and offered him one of those when it arrived, plus gave him a flapjack when I happened to be cooking them, but I didn't provide anything else.

@Notthatcatagain Since covid when we absolutely relied on deliveries to keep us going, I have kept a plastic box on the front step with bottles of water and (well wrapped) home made snacks. We aren't directly on the street so it's quite safe there. Our posties, in particular, pick something up most days, even when they aren't delivering to us, and sometimes will make a special trip up the drive to do that, which is absolutely fine by me.

Nooooooo!

That’s ok for instant coffee , but absolutely minging for tea. Tea needs boiling water.

If you’re leaving a flask, don’t offer tea. Tea from ‘hot’ flask water is worse than no tea at all.

If they need to make it themselves, my experience is that they just don’t bother and drink from the flasks they bring with them. If you offer a freshly made tea or coffee, they generally say yes.

One mid morning, one mid afternoon. I never have biscuits in, but I have sometimes made cake or offer toast if I’m doing some for me.

I’ve had a lot of work done here, and they always always accept a fresh coffee or tea.

however, I hate to say it, a couple of them told me they decide whether to accept based on the hygiene factor they think is in place.

and many of us work from home or can work from home if we have work being done.

That's crazy. You can't tell people's hygiene so quickly. I knew somebody whose house looked immaculate from first impressions. She let her cats crawl all over the bench, washed her dishes with theirs. She rarely washed her hands, so bacon rolls presented on clean looking plates would be harbouring germs. If the workers are hygiene conscious I don't think they would accept it regardless tbh, esp when they have dirty hands to begin with.
What is "fresh" coffee?" All coffee is fresh whether you make it, or they do with a station. Nobody has mentioned it being premade stewing in a teapot all day.

We have had loads of workmen in over the last 2 years and I always go overboard to make sure they have drinks and biscuits. My dad was a builder and was treated really shoddily by some of his clients who made it clear he was only welcome in their home to do work and get out. I’ve never wanted anyone to feel like that.

I always point out where the loo is and leave a key if I’m out etc but really weirdly, some of them NEVER use it. I’m like where are you peeing then?! Maybe best I don’t know… 😂

I think the more pressing issue for you is to allow the workers access to your loo. And to educate your husband that it’s not acceptable to expect workers to pee in bottles in the back of their van when there are toilet facilities nearby.

And to educate your husband that it’s not acceptable to expect workers to pee in bottles in the back of their van when there are toilet facilities nearby.

And then have nowhere for them to wash their hands afterwards - eww!

My DH often went out with teas for the lads working on our street last year! We live on a dead end street and when they were resurfacing and fixing the road the street basically took it in turns to keep them going with tea and biscuits even though they weren’t in any of our houses… we were kept updated and we even offered up our outside loo if needed as that could be accessed down the side of our house (always let the window cleaners use it too!).

it’s common courtesy and kindness and we’re down in the south/central so not a northern friendliness thing either!

What you suggest is fine! A table outside with tea, coffee and biscuits (or crisps or something if you want - i got some cans of sprite or similar in when we had work done in the summer). Then you don’t have to worry about them. Also less awkward for them to be able to help themselves and not ask you.

You do need to give them access to the loo or pay for a portaloo though

I would make the first cup of tea/ coffee when they arrive and let them help themselves after that, I should have said.

Exactly, it is crazy because when we had work done the last time the men were given copious amounts of drinks and snacks, and toilet use! I wasn't well, though, and ran back and forth, in hindsight I offered abit too frequently. Dh was unhappy as the plasterers took the p. I may offer hot drinks, but leave a bowl of snacks outside with cold drinks regardless. Prob will get some take away cups for the hot drinks with it being outside.

I think it depends on the person, some feel awkward in people's homes they don't know, and may avoid it where possible. Others don't care.

Gosh, that is very trusting. I wouldn't be comfortable with strangers being in my house when nobody was in, and them having the key! 😱