To not give builders food

[ThiswillDoItsfine]

Help me settle this difference of opinion. I have a company coming out in 3 weeks time to install a lot of fencing. I mentioned to dh that I will get them coffee, tea, and biscuits/cookies in to have with drinks. Dh is saying just the drinks is fine, and for me to just offer it as and when. The job is going to take 2 days. I want to give the men something to eat as well, at the very least.
DH is then saying he doesn't want them trailing through the house, which I do understand. However, I was going to set a table outside with a flask, tea bags, coffee, milk & sugar, and bowl of biscuits so that they could help themselves. I thought this would be less restricting and mean that they can get it when they want, without waiting for me to ask. I also think it saves me running around when i have a child to look after. DH is saying that this is well over the top.

Is this okay? Or is it wrong i set this up outside for them? It is an outdoor job, so I thought it would be easier all around, and they'll be working hard.

Thank you.

respectful and did*

Sorry for the typos! Edit has timed out.

You're overthinking this, OP, and seem overly anxious about doing the right thing. It's just a few blokes in your garden for a couple of days - just offer them a brew as they arrive and again after lunch if you're around and have the time. Add a packet of biscuits to the tea tray and then go about your day. No need to wrap yourself in knots deliberating about branded or supermarket brand biscuits etc, just buy what you would normally buy.

I always offer coffee (we have a proper cappuccino machine and they love it).

If they are here for a long time (2-3m doing renovations/landscaping or extensions) I will buy pastries or make bacon butties on a Friday, but this is a goodwill gesture to encourage the best work, not out of a sense of politeness or obligation.

I'm honestly shocked and appalled at this statement! They're humans who are working on your home, of course they should be able to access your toilet!

They’ll probably have set break times for morning and afternoon. Ask whoever’s in charge for their times. The guys I work with all take enough supplies to last the day but always appreciate it if someone makes the effort. TBH 2 days is nothing but I’d have a big jug of tap water in the fridge if it’s hot and maybe some cheap ice lollies in the freezer. If our guys are doing outdoor work in the blistering heat I often do an ice lolly run as it’s good for morale.

I'm Eastern European.

They look bemused, because it's not a done thing 'back home'. Tradesmen are employees, you're - their employer. They came to do the job, you're paying them for it. It's not expected and absolutely not necessary to feed them. They bring their own, always. Flasks with tea, sandwiches, hot food flasks, whatever. If you'd set them a table with biscuits, various drinks, etc, you'd invariably get a wtf..? reaction. They would be grateful, though. But because we're not smiley/chatty/small talk-y people, bit stony faced as a rule, they might seem rude with their reaction. They don't mean to be.

However, if you'd tell them to go to a supermarket loos to do their business, you'd get more than a bit bemused reaction. Because that's unheard of 'back home'. I've never encountered such preciousness about loos before I visited the UK. Workmen always use inside loo, they do ask for the first time, but that's more of a theoretical question, out of politeness, no one would even dream of hearing 'no' in reply.

We had builders on site for the best part of 18 months. It would have cost a fortune and taken a ridiculous amount of time if i was preparing bacon rolls and lunches for them constantly.

Makings for hot drinks is fine, I'd usually get biscuits too. In a similar situation to yours I showed then where everything was and said just to help themselves if I wasn't around. They used to send the apprentice in to make it - he always took his boots off at the back door and was also known to make me a drink too!!

Same here. Brews no biscuits. I also find they don't want to use your loo for a shit anymore than you may to want them to use it!

I've found recently though that I've had very health conscious tradespeople - one was doing intermittent fasting, one didn't drink tea or coffee and the fence chaps had their own kedgeree which they asked me to ping and ate in the van.

Wife of a tradesman here. They will always appreciate a brew and a biscuit is a nice extra. Loo is important. My H has one customer who baked them something every day and even gave him a cake to bring home with him.

I think it's a nice thing to do and it means they don't have to down tools to go and get drinks or food.

When I recently had work done I made tea/coffee and bacon sandwiches for the builders. They knocked £200 off the bill because it didn't take them as long as expected to finish the job but I'd like to think it was my amazing tea and sandwiches 😄

When the plumbers were installing our bathroom (a 2 week job) I offered that they could help themselves to tea and coffee whenever they wanted in the kitchen right next to where they were working, and I’d leave everything out for them and kettle filled- as I’d be working from home and juggling child pick ups/drop offs. But they said they felt awkward using my kitchen- but accepted every single tea I made them (usually about 3 a day). Was a right ball ache as I felt obligated to offer but meant I ended up being the tea maid in between all my online meetings! Oh and to answer your question- if I had biscuits in I’d always offer them but I didn’t really get much in especially except making sure we always had milk, coffee, tea and sugar in. We only had one bathroom so we were all weeing elsewhere! But obvs normally you should offer them a toilet- your husband is being mental.

I never refuse, but I don’t like it if they aren’t fastidious, not being careful peeing, and don’t wash their hands etc. If they are using the nearby cafe for their lunch they can use the loos there.

Interesting and good to have confirmed that there is a cultural difference there, I had wondered if I was imagining it

All this horror of workmen using the loo and shoe protectors and the like is hysterical. Just have a good scrub when they’ve gone! People really do live in their own little precious ivory bubbles these days, the idea of a builder using the loo for a quick wee being a trauma seems like a mental health issue..

I offered tea/coffee when i was making it, not food. But my husband offered a fried egg sandwich when he made one!

Always allowed access to the toilet.

Ummmmm, what if there was a woman working with them. Would he expect her to pee in a bottle too???

The whole builders using the loo debate is pathetic. Let them use the loo, ffs. You aren't better than them and your arse is no different.

I run a roofing company and know others in construction so thought it would be good to give you this perspective.

My boys usually aren’t fussy at all how they get their coffee/tea but they really grumble about customers that don’t even offer a drink at least. A flask and a few cups sounds like a great idea! Biscuits are a bonus (again don’t worry about presentation they’re used to it so don’t worry about a table just pop the packet on the floor if possible.) If you have a toilet near one of your doors it’s often best to let them use it (if there’s a discreet area in some gardens I know lads who just pee anywhere in the garden or they’ll go in the back of the van 🙈). I as a female really struggle without a toilet so if there are any ladies working on your job please let them in for a wee 😂.

Other than that I wouldn’t worry too much about anything else. Lads are used to it in construction.

Every one gives workmen tea and biscuits!!

Are you being serious?! 😂

Exactly this! Do these people never piss at work?!?

Are you watching them pee? You honestly unhinged!

I am gobsmacked by people on this thread who expect people working in their home to pee in a cafe or a plastic bottle!!! Jesus. Some of you are truly without humanity.