To ask school to stop sending me these texts?

[SquiglePig]

I have 3 kids in same high-school.

They've started to send texts to parents everytime a child is late to a lesson, basically saying 'your child is late for lesson, please don't allow this to happen again etc'

My kids are never late to school in the mornings, ever.

It's my responsibility to get them into school on time, which I do.

I've had the discussion with them about getting to lessons on time but what can I actually do?

I feel like once they're on school grounds I don't really have physical control over how long it takes them to get to lessons even though I keep telling them.

Also it's not a text to my phone it's a text via the school messaging system which means I have to log in to see it.

I'm at work and I don't know if it's something important or not and have to check and I can get in trouble for being on my phone too much.

Please don't think this is me saying I have no responsibility over my children's behaviour in school, of course I do but I feel that I do not need to recieve a text every time one of them is late to arrive to a lesson when I've got them into school on time.

In my day there were teachers in the hall to usher kids to their lessons?

Well sort your kids out then and you'll stop getting the messages

Is that how you've dealt with everything in life with them? Oh they've not misbehaved in front of me so I'm can't be arsed being responsible with them

I’d be questioning my child about why they are late to lessons so much not questioning why the school are messaging me about it.

YABU

I would absolutely want to know if my kids are regularly late to class because I’m their parent and teaching your kids not to be late is part of that.

The school is not going to message you if there is an emergency, they would ring you.

So if you get a message just ignore it until a more convenient time.

For those saying the children need to face consequences, yes, they do - there and then, at school. Half the time pupils don’t know what mark they’ve had in terms of performance, punctuality etc - these automatic systems are taking away the true communication. Homework is set on a platform that self marks, behaviour points are doled out or taken away on systems that require logging on to and much of the burden is passed to parents. Only those children with invested parents are going to see any impact. Step away from the keyboard and invest in some real pupil/parent/school contact. And yes, before anyone jumps on, 1998-2021 as a teacher and leader. Didn’t appreciate being required to monitor so much as a secondary school parent.

I think it says a lot that your response is to ask the school to stop sending texts rather than your kids to stop being late. Sort it out

Hear Hear

If the school think that there is an issue then I suggest that they need to identify what it is and take appropriate action, not send texts willy nilly

You sound like exactly the same sort of parent who would complain if the school did not update you on your children's behaviour. Your children are slacking for some reason. Could be falling into bad habits or bad company? Want to be updated or not?

Supposedly, knowing your children best, you're in the best position to talk to them and find out why they can't make it from point A to point B on time, like all the other kids? Maybe they're being bullied or afraid of something? Maybe they don't like using the woke communal toilets while someone else is in there?

Your school has picked up on the fact your kids are out of line with the other kids - maybe you're curious to know why?

Because if your kid is being bullied, and you're relying on the teachers to just solve herding children from A to B - then all of you are being neglectful to the child.

This!
I’d be pissed off if I was getting constant negative feedback and I’d be taking half hour off their tech every-time they were late for class…
If you can’t enforce this then ask school to start dishing out detentions/restoratives where they have to make up the time after school!… school should have a system where 3 lates = hour detention..

Also I wouldn’t check while in work. I’d only check during my break and lunch then after work.. nothing of great importance would be sent via text… they would phone if one was sick or injured I assume!

"DC, every time you are late for class I get a message which I have to stop and check. This is happening far too much. Education is important and you need to make the most of school. Until I check the message don't know whether you are ill and I need to collect you, or just late for a lesson. This is affecting my work and it cannot continue as my employer is noticing.

What the are the reasons you are late? Do you need a watch? Do you need to go to the toilet earlier at breaktime? You need to be on time so can we please clear up now what is stopping you getting to lessons on time and then can you make sure you are at lessons on time in future."

No - you don't ask the school to stop contacting you. You make sure your children understand the importance of being on time.

This!!!

If only parents would do this.
And accept that actual parenting is necessary to raise kids who will be responsibly adults.
So many just want to outsource any actual interventions to the school.

This is exactly why we have so many problems.

if my child was late because they are pissing about in the corridor between lessons I would want to know.

behaviour is so bad, teachers are leaving left right and centre, but apparently it’s the teachers fault.

your school sounds brilliant - be thankful they actually care about your children succeeding, even if you’ve checked out because you don’t want to recieve an annoying text!

Registration is at the start of each class, the kids are not late for school.

OP can have a word with her kids but I still think the punishment should be at school and not at home, as the behaviour is taking place at school.

I would firstly say stop pissing about on your phone at work. Turn it off! Stop wasting your employers time by dealing with your personal business when they’re paying you to do a job

Personally I’d look at if another way, if your kid wasn’t late, you’d not get the texts, so work with them to ensure they are not.

When i was at school it was like this too. There was no text messaging then for every little thing. As a parent you can tell your kids to make it to lesson on time but you aren’t physically there, the school needs to give appropriate punishment and the kids will soon sort themselves out, you can only give appropriate punishment when at home.

My son is at Primary and the amount of messages some days are ridiculous and they can’t even get those right. I’d be pissed if I was having to log in just to find out they were late to class. Plenty of detentions, making them miss break times etc should do the trick. It’s not about not parenting your child, they’re in the care of the school between 9 and 3, surely they can hand out their own form of punishment.

I think a different approach would be better. Every evening I go onto the school app to see if there's any positive or negative issues, if it's non-urgent more things could go on there maybe? I would obviously chase up anything noted on the app with my kids, but do we need pings for non-urgent/minor issues that can't be resolved until the child is home from school?

Talking about washing hands ...could the kids be using the bathroom and slightly late because there isn't enough time to get around the school to the next class as it is without stopping to use the facilities on the way?

Your children are inconveniencing the school, their classmates and teachers by being consistently late. The school are now inconveniencing you. Don't want this to happen? Sort it by sanctioning your children. Teachers don't have time for your attitude or inability to discipline your own children, and they certainly don't get paid enough. Brutal, but true.

This!
Couldn't have said it better myself.

Seriously, we know who is late for valid reasons and those who are deliberately late. I have three year 9 girls who are constantly 10-15 minutes late to every lesson. Why should the education of the rest of the class suffer while I deal with them? Whereas, I teach a kid with asd whose executive functioning skills are poor who is occasionally late as he's probably been slow packing up from his last lesson. There is a huge difference.

Do your kids' teachers a favour and home school them. Then they won't be late for lessons and the school won't have to deal with shitty attitudes like yours and your offspring. Win, win situation.
No wonder teachers are leaving in droves!!!

It’s an automated system that sends an alert every time a late is recorded on a register. I’m sure you’d be complaining that school never told you, if you found out on thier reports that they had a load of late marks. You need to take it seriously and deal with it at home. Got a late today? Lose your phone for the evening.

For the record, being late is NOT normal. Most kids are on time to every lesson so to be getting multiple texts a DAY is a problem!!

This is obviously the school's problem because the children are at school at the relevant time. Honestly they sound pathetic complaining to parents about this.

But that's not going to help you. Fine the kids 10% of their poocket money every time you get a text.