To think the public have the society they deserve

[GoodnightAdeline]

Just read yet another post in our town mums’ Facebook group about the ‘lunchbox letter’. In essence a local primary has written to parents asking them to stop putting sweets and other garbage in their kids’ lunch boxes and all hell has broken loose. ‘How dare they tell my what to feed my child’ ‘tell them to fuck off’ ‘we’ll give the kids an eating disorder’ ‘my kid will only eat cheese strings and cola bottles, do they want her to starve’ etc

It was the same with the ‘your child is overweight’ letters, the ‘please send them in with water not Prime’ letters, the ‘please watch them as they cross the road after school because we had a near miss the other day and are getting complaints’ letters.

After a million such posts with defensive, vitriolic replies I’m beginning to think, why bother improving the NHS/dentistry etc? Why bother helping people who won’t help themselves.

YES I KNOW I’M BEING UNREASONABLE but the above mindset just seems so prevalent it depresses me to unreasonableness!

Regarding social media and people's behaviour. Look at the behaviour demonstrated in EastEnders. People endlessly arguing and in a state of conflict and angst. Ongoing dramas and over the top behaviour. I haven't watched it since 1998 when I had ds1, but I'm aware of what goes on in this and other low brow programmes.

People might laugh and claim shows like this are harmless and to get a grip, but I know I'm right. I've lived long enough and I've observed the changes over time.

Yes I don't think that is poverty

I think being a responsible, considerate parent does make you a better person.

Which in turn would, hopefully, pass down in genes and make the next generation as considerate, and so on.

Alas that's probably not going to happen, the entitlement will carry on whilst parents continue to instill the "do as you like" attitude into their DC.

Nobody is obese because they are poverty stricken. They are obese because they shove crap down their gobs day in day out. There is massive poverty in many third world countries yet none of them.areobese

I mean, we know that there is a link between poverty and obesity because that's what the data show. As for comparisons to third world countries, if they had affordable and easily accessible UPF then you'd likely see a similar situation.

There are lots of reasons for the link between obesity and poverty in the UK and I'd be well up for a good natured discussion on it, but you don't seem open to that.

I think this attitude is a wider problem than just schools, people balk at being told, guided, advised - whatever you want to call it - when it's something that they believe will impact on them negatively (it doesn't have to do that, just they believe it will) because their actions are affecting others negatively and they're being asked to modify that behaviour.

Yet will fully expect that someone else is told/advised/guided and changes their behaviour when that someone else's behaviour is negatively affecting them.

As I said in a pp, many seem very unwilling to cooperate, even over the smallest things, yet expect full cooperation (often through a 3rd party like dr's, teachers, the police to enforce) for them.

Add to that the emotional overreactions that seems to permeate daily life (people are 'devastated' by what actually are small inconveniences that are just part of life) and the constant need to blame, be compensated when something doesn't meet often impossible standards and you've got a society that demands consideration for themselves but doesn't have any responsibility for also showing consideration towards others, it's no wonder we're where we are.

Gosh, you seem very angry. I replied to you because I was addressing what you said 🤷 in a civil, well-mannered tone. No idea why you've responded so rudely.

You've made some wild assumptions about people who don't share your opinion raising children with eating disorders, but then said it's "insane" to acknowledge the (proven) link between a diet high in UPF and cancer. It's not a debate, we know that this link exists.

There may not be a state ordered way to raise a child, but there are absolutely parenting choices that are illegal, unethical and would attract either social services or police involvement because they are harmful to children. I just posed the question whether failure to meet a child's basic nutritional needs should fall into that category.

It's just a discussion. You don't need to agree but as an adult you should have the ability to disagree and have a conversation without being unpleasant. And if you aren't open to conversation and debate, it's very strange to spend your time on a forum.

It isn't comparable to people actually going without food and getting thin because of it. Maybe there's low income but that being poverty is a subjective take

I don't think eating disorders are the main problem facing British children today. Red herring.

OP you just need to look at any threads on Mumsnet about weight. If you are size 10 or below then you must have an eating disorder. Try to limit UPF’s = eating disorder. Cook from scratch = eating disorder. Enjoy a nice salad = eating disorder.

People are so terrified of ‘eating disorders’ which to them only mean anorexia and bulimia (neither of which are characterised by the things above) that they can’t see the one that is currently a problem, chronic overeating.

I know I get sick of the ‘living off of a lettuce leaf’ line that gets trotted out ad nauseam because of course if you are not massively overweight then this is simply what you must live off.

Sorry long way of saying I agree but you won’t get many positive responses on here.

Who said anyone was ‘scared’?

Ffs.

Agree. The defensiveness is ludicrous. Probably 50% of kids at my daughter’s primary are clearly overweight. And that’s fine and they can continue on a path to type 2 diabetes, strokes, infertility, heart attacks and cancer, apparently. Because ‘otherwise they’ll get anorexia’ which to me seems far more likely if they’re allowed to become obese and develop poor body image in the first place 🤷🏼‍♀️

I completely agree with you OP. I’m lucky in that my son’s special school doesn’t put any restrictions on packed lunches (apart from obvious allergens) and understand that many of the children there have eating issues, so his lunch box isn’t being ‘policed’. This means I can stick a chocolate mini roll in it occasionally or a biscuit. But I do that safely in the knowledge that he’s eating a well balanced, healthy diet and if the school decided to enforce restrictions, I would follow them - because I know that it’s far more sensible to do a blanket ban to ensure that those children who are eating piles of junk everyday get a chance at a healthy diet.

I understand that poverty plays a huge part in this, with the expense of fresh and nutritious food. But many in poverty will access free school meals anyway.

Agree completely.

Sorry, I know some people are in poverty, but most people are not.

In the 1970s we were very poor. But our working parents still managed to give us a Weetabix and a splash of milk before making sure that we went to school.

If you can afford a mobile phone, you can afford £5 pw for cereal and milk. And a lack of money doesn't stop you from making sure your child goes to school.

I do not understand what is wrong with some parents today.

Seems we have an ‘excuse culture’. In this, no-one wants to be held to account, no-one wants to take responsibility.

Sorry but this is so ignorant.

Mobile phones are often something people bought ages ago or have been given and only use Wi-Fi to get by. There’s no weekly expenditure a lot of the time. And cereal and milk costs way more than £5 a week!

The 1970’s are a world alert from 2024. So many people are in poverty and actually IIRC most people in relative poverty are in working household

These are not people in poverty. They bombard the group asking for suggestions for nail and lash techs, where they can get a new sofa on finance, where to buy fancy balloon arches for minor events, which cinema is showing X film, asking after puppies.

Not ignorant at all.

Asda Weetabix £2 for 24. Large 6pt of milk, £2.15. So just over £4 for breakfast for two kids for a week.

Thankfully yes, the 1970s are a long time ago, but just bear in mind that food was much more expensive then in proportion to income, interest rates were 15%, the country was broken by strikes and power cuts, and we all thought we were going to die in a nuclear war. It wasn't fun then, either.

Please let's not idolize the food from the past as something very healthy. It was maybe less UPF, but full of fat and sugar and salt for sure. However, the portions were certainly smaller, people worked more physical jobs, and kids played outside all the time. But now send your kid to the park, and there will be do-gooders threatening to report you to CPS.

@SNMummy2024

You see them all gorging on sweets and chocolates at the school gates, as soon as the kids come waddling out they get a packet of chocolate buttons shoved at them. They probably aren't even hungry, but then again I guess they aren't spoiling a nutritious home cooked dinner, just another Mcdonalds drive thru trip or at a push chicken dippers and smiley face.
No exercise, all parked right up against the school gates causing mayhem because walking more than a couple of yards will make the kids' legs seize up and drop off.
No playing outside after school, just straight onto the couch to play Fortnite.
This UPF problem will catch up with the children of today and they will all have horrendous health problems and shorter lifespans becsuse of it.

😆You sound exhausting. And where are all these mums, driving straight to Maccy D’s to cram their chubby, legless, Fortnite-addicted children with Happy Meals? The mums I know go home and cook, like me. And their children have legs too.

Your world sounds horrible. You should move to a different planet full of soya beans and hand-knitted yoghurts

lol

YANBU at all.

When we lived in the UK my sons primary school on several occasions tried to feed him his allergen, it wasn’t safe for him to eat school meals. If packed lunches were banned he wouldn’t have been able to attend school.

You don't have to wander far on MN to see the problem - any criticism of children or parenting is shouted down as "mum shaming". Much more important to pander to parents and ensure they don't feel the slightest discomfort than it is to protect the children they chose to have and are now fucking up.

Not really surprising we've ended up where we are.

I think your posts are grotesque. You have absolutely no idea what people go through and this Tory “Bah they have flat screen TVs” is beyond ignorant

Why do you think those people are ones in poverty?

People in poverty probably aren’t telling you about it because of the shame people like you perpetuate.