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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you live in your IL’s annex?

53 replies

Corianm · 09/06/2024 19:59

DH and I bought via help to buy scheme but have weirdly found ourselves in a negative equity situation in London.

ILs live in a very expensive area of Surrey. They have a large garden with an annex and have offered for DH and I to move in. I’m very much considering it as the commute is actually almost identical to what it is now. Plus Dh and I could save up for a year or two.

ILs don’t use garden much and would never enter annex without invitation. The annex has a kitchenette, living area and bedroom with en-suite.

Am I mad?

OP posts:
pietut · 09/06/2024 20:21

No that's mental, can you pay the HTB now whilst you'd technically be paying back less than what you borrowed and then ride it out? It's madness to sell at a loss if you're not in a rush to move. How much negative equity are we talking?

Houseplantmad · 09/06/2024 20:25

Move into the annexe (paying your way) but why not rent out your flat at the same time to generate additional income?

elliejjtiny · 09/06/2024 20:26

We lived with in-laws for 7 months last year. It was a nightmare and added 30 minutes to our commute. It might be ok for you though as you would be in an annexe and don't have children.

WestEndWindy · 09/06/2024 20:35

Yes, I'd do it. Normally I'd think living with/next to relatives was a terrible idea but it sounds like you'd have enough in your favour. That's a brilliant opportunity to save. Could you rent your flat while you stayed at in-laws?

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/06/2024 20:36

It was probably a nightmare for your in-laws too, @elliejjtiny . Wonder whether that occurred to you? .

Gcsunnyside23 · 09/06/2024 20:36

I'd 100% do it but you need to both talk about how it would work and ground rules on both sides

BeaRF75 · 09/06/2024 20:37

No. Never. And I liked my in laws.
Wouldn't live near my own parents either.

I think parents are best kept at a significant distance, otherwise there is far too much potential for them to get "over involved".

CJ0374 · 09/06/2024 20:46

Is the annexe connected to the main house or a stand alone building? Is there a connecting door or would you have you own access door in and out without going through the main house? How long do you think you'd need to stay before saving enough to buy again?
Why don't you rent out your flat?

elliejjtiny · 09/06/2024 20:50

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/06/2024 20:36

It was probably a nightmare for your in-laws too, @elliejjtiny . Wonder whether that occurred to you? .

They chose the situation, we didn't. Our rented house is owned by a charity and FIL is on the committee. He suggested to the charity we move in with them while major building works were done on our house to save the charity money instead of us going into temp accommodation, was supposed to be 2-3 months but it ended up being 7 due to various other cost cutting related things. I think they did regret it by about 5 months in but it was their idea in the first place, I never wanted to move in with them and tried my best to find every other possible alternative.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2024 21:30

Why take a loss by selling? Ride it out and wait for things to right themselves. I don't see the point in selling and then being stuck at your in-laws.

saraclara · 09/06/2024 21:35

Where in London is your flat? Rather than rent it in the normal sense (which has all kinds of contractual problems) why not Airbnb it, or rent it on very short period terms?

My friend found a place like that after COVID, which he stayed in until he'd found a long term rental. It was normally Airbnb'd but the guy who owned it gave him a price for a three month let.

Firawla · 09/06/2024 21:42

Personally no way
Sit it out with your negative equity it may come around??? But your own space and not having to answer to anyone is priceless
there is zero chance I would give that up to live in my in-laws garden. Zerrooooooo
The potential for problems is huge and by the time you sell your other place it’ll be too late.
I would rather move up north, in your situation.

MaryMary6589 · 09/06/2024 22:44

Not a chance.

I also wouldn't move back in with my own parents.

ResisterRex · 09/06/2024 22:50

Negative equity is serious and help to buys can be hard to get out of especially now, I would definitely consider this option.

But you should get an agreement signed between the two parties as it'll focus your minds and may allay any concerns from your DH's siblings for example? Then have the agreement revisited every 6months or whatever and make sure you have enough saved back up to at least rent again if it's not working out.

saraclara · 09/06/2024 23:06

Oh yes, absolutely save like MoFos if you take them up on this. You need the safety net if things do get difficult, and also so that the PILs can see that their gesture (and their own possible lack of privacy) is worthwhile.

Having said that, in the conversation that you have before you decide, you need to establish that they don't expect you to live on bread and water and never go out, to 'prove' that you're saving.

goodnessmeitsfriday · 09/06/2024 23:18

Why don't you rent out your London house and move into the annexe?

kanet · 09/06/2024 23:29

Yes I'd live there.
Rent out your current property rather than selling in negative equity.
Save your salaries, get the rent on top.

I'm wondering what happened to get your flat into negative equity? Is there something that would make you want to sell it?

Oh, and if the PILs live in a lovely area of surrey, perhaps you coudl get your child into a good state school in the vicinity by staying in the annex for a bit.

Theoldbird · 09/06/2024 23:35

I would!

Also, am I the only one who's desperate to see pics of this annex? 😆

saraclara · 10/06/2024 00:03

With the massive increase in London rents for long term residents, there could be something in doing Monday to Friday rentals for those who work in London. Again, avoiding all the hassle of the rights of long term tenants. Have it bringing in at least the mortgage and service charge amounts (and probably significantly more) until things pick up.

ilikecatsandponies · 10/06/2024 13:55

No. I would rather live under a bridge.

Jegelskertrolde · 10/06/2024 14:24

@Corianm@Corianm
Do you have a plan to get out of negative equity? You'll somehow have to fund the shortfall between what your property is worth and how much you'll realistically be able to sell for. So, if your property is valued for sale at £200k but you mortgage/debt is £250k, where are you getting the £50k to pay off the debt when moving out? This needs sorting before thinking about moving Into the ILs annex

mindutopia · 10/06/2024 14:48

Me personally, absolutely not. But then again, my MIL's partner is not allowed to live with children due to restrictions on him after release from prison. So yeah, there's that, amongst other reasons we are NC.

SprigatitoYouAndIKnow · 10/06/2024 16:39

Are you actually in negative equity, or just worth less than when you bought it? If you don't actually want to move now, what is the benefit of moving to the annexe? You will still be paying your mortgage and the market may go up again.

carly2803 · 10/06/2024 20:28

i would not sell in negative equity!

rent your flat out - or air b and b it!

save save save - then when things pick up, sell the flat and start again!?

EatCrow · 10/06/2024 20:43

Theoldbird · 09/06/2024 23:35

I would!

Also, am I the only one who's desperate to see pics of this annex? 😆

You are not alone! I’d love to see photos of the garden too.