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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to watch somebodys childs that ive never met...

36 replies

benbon · 07/04/2008 13:54

i live in a close that has a block of council flats in it so there are always lots of children playing with ball out the front i see this little playing out most days

today when i was taking my son out to tesco's this little boy was asking me if he could come with me, i said to him that that wouldnt be a very good idea as i dont know his mummy and it wouldnt be very much fun... he replied that he really wanted to come i told him that maybe if he asked his mummy he could come round another day and play.

so he sat on my wall and watched us drive away (this was about half 10 ish)
when i returned from collecting my daughter and going to tescos (about quarter to 1 ish) he was still outside my house and asked if he could come and play today i told him he could in half an hour so we could have lunch.

so i sat the kids down for lunch and this boy waited in my front garden watching us till i told him he could come in.

i asked him his name and age he's 6 and asked if his mummy was at home he said that every one he lives with is at work and that he can look after hisself and that he is looking after his sisters aswell i asked him again if every one was at work and he said yes then he said that he mum was actually at home and that daddy was at work...
five minutes later he said that actually daddy would be at home by now...

am i being unreasnable to be worried? not really sure what i should do bear in mind i have never met his mum, dad or anyone i dont even know this boy????????????

OP posts:
scorpio1 · 07/04/2008 13:56

i would just go round to his flat with him, under the guise of asking him over for tea or something, to see if anyone is in.

Original poster
benbon · 07/04/2008 13:57

yeah although i dont really wanna go knocking as from what i have seen of his mum she is a bit rough...

if you know what i mean

OP posts:
hecate · 07/04/2008 13:57

Go round to his parents house, he might not be telling the truth. Kids are weird and are capable of saying anything. However, it if turns out that a 6 year old is being left to fend for himself while his parents are at work, then you should inform social services, because that would be outragious. - looking after himself and I assume younger sisters at six years of age? Neglect. - IF it's true. I think you should try to find out.

rookiemater · 07/04/2008 13:57

No answer at all benbon, but feel so sad for that poor little boy. It was really nice of you to let him come in and play.

Maybe you could ask him to show you where he lives and you could check if there was someone at home, but if the parents were there and took it the wrong way then that might not be a thing to do.

Are 6 year olds old enough to know their address (sorry our DS is younger) . I think I would be tempted to make a call to social services just so they could check.

Yurtgirl · 07/04/2008 13:59

I would take him round to his home. If someone is in I would just express concern that I had seen him alone and wanting attention so often. If noone in I would call social services.

hecate · 07/04/2008 14:00

oh, x post, the parents are rough? Well, you can go round on a pretext - "Hi I'm X's mum. Your Y asked if he could come to play at our house, but I thought I should check if that's ok with you first" - nobody, no matter how rough, is going to kick off at that.

Heated · 07/04/2008 14:00

Take him home, say he's come in to play but then you were worried they would get worried about where he was so you've popped him back.

scorpio1 · 07/04/2008 14:00

don't worry about her appearing rough, she may not be. You could pretend you just wanted to know if he could come for tea next week or something.

Original poster
benbon · 07/04/2008 14:02

yeah i think i will pop round now ill let you know how it goes...

OP posts:
scorpio1 · 07/04/2008 14:02

let us know. Ring SS if no-one home.

Swedes · 07/04/2008 14:04

Some very good advice here. I just wanted to say he sounds like a very nice little chap.

My DS1 once told the postman that I'd gone to Venice when in fact I was weeding the flowerbeds about 20 metres from where they were standing.

mellyonion · 07/04/2008 14:06

i would deffo go to the flat with the little boy...if someone is home, you can say you were concerned that they might worry if they couldn't see him and that you wanted to invite him into play....

if no one is home, then you should call ss. they are not there to destroy families, but there to ensure that children are kept hopefully safe and grow up in a suitable environment. you need not tell them who you are...a "concerned neighbour" will do....

tbh, i don't think i would want to invite him into my home without his parents or anyone knowing where he was, for your own protection against false allegations.........

that sounds so grim! don't mean it to!

mellyonion · 07/04/2008 14:07

sorry..it took me so long to type that!! i've obviously x posted with 20 others!!

Original poster
benbon · 07/04/2008 14:12

ok mum was in... although still in her nightie... looked rather shocked to see me...
when asked what time she wants to come and collect him she told him he could stay till whenever he liked

he then asked if he could stay till 7 i have told him 4

am i being mean

OP posts:
scorpio1 · 07/04/2008 14:13

no you're not being mean!! At least there was a parent in, albeit still in bed probably!

Original poster
benbon · 07/04/2008 14:14

i just dont get in my little girl is 5 i would never let her out on her own

OP posts:
rookiemater · 07/04/2008 14:15

Still in her nightie at 2pm in the afternoon? I think I'd still be tempted to phone SS as that poor boy could have ended up talking to anybody, he is just lucky it was you. I'd probably leave it for a few days though, so she doesn't make the mental connection about how phoned them.

Original poster
benbon · 07/04/2008 14:17

i just dont think i could phone them over something im probable being presious about he doesnt have any marks or anything just looks a bit grubby

OP posts:
hecate · 07/04/2008 14:18

Be careful - she will probably send him round to yours every day now!

Still in her nightie at 2pm? Ignoring the kids? Shocked at seeing another human being?

You don't suppose she's one of us, do you?

NotABanana · 07/04/2008 14:19

Saying 7 might just mean he knows the number but not how late it is.

He obviously let himself out of the house.

Poor kid.

I wouldn't go running to SS.

I think 4pm is plenty. Maybe get chatting when you drop him back and check mum is okay.

Original poster
benbon · 07/04/2008 14:20

dont i was worrying about that... i think she is prob more of a tv addict

OP posts:
rookiemater · 07/04/2008 14:21

Sorry that did sound a bit overly outraged.

I have no objection to what people choose to wear in the comfort of their own home provided they are looking after their children.

Whilst I do feel that in todays society we do sometimes overly protect children, I feel that leaving a 6 year old out all day to play, out of sight, at worst is a recipe for danger and at best is simple neglect and tbh not really a joking matter.

Minkus · 07/04/2008 14:23

Don't think there's too much wrong in itself with being in your nightie at 2pm in the afternoon! We don't know the circumstances.

But agree with everyone else that I feel a bit for the little boy, he sounds a cutie and I will always want to know where my ds is when he's old enough to play out so feel for the boy when his mum doesn't seem to be that interested in his whereabouts.

elesbells · 07/04/2008 14:23

in her nightie AT THIS TIME? the sloven

ellideb · 07/04/2008 14:27

had the poor lad been without food all that time? from when you saw him in the morning to when you invited him in? It sounds like neglect to me. some peole shouldn't be allowed to have kids.