Driving instructor after lesson was due to start

[Latetocancel]

I had a driving lesson booked for 8.30am yesterday. I was so tired as I hadn’t slept well but set my alarm for 7:45. My instructor is often running 10-30 minutes late, so I looked at my phone as soon as I got up in case he had sent a text to say he was running late and then I could get a few minutes more sleep.

No such luck - so I got out of bed and showered had coffee woke myself up basically, to keep me going for the next few hours. I was wide awake by this point and texted him at 8:30am asking if he was going to be on time. He texted back at 9am saying he had just woke up and didn’t feel well.

AIBU for thinking he should have woke up by 7am (which is the time he would normally have had to wake up by in order to make it to my lesson at 8:30am) and sent me a text earlier rather than texting to cancel half an hour after my lesson was meant to start?

The thing is I need to spend the rest of the day exhausted for absolutely nothing. If I’d had the lesson in the morning, it would have been worthwhile to feel tired in the afternoon but the way I feel seems a waste considering he cancelled.

And to avoid a drip feed no I can’t do a catch-up sleep during the day . I have sleeping issues and if I nap I usually struggle to sleep at night,plus I just struggle to day-sleep anyway. I realise it’s not his fault I have sleep issues but surely common courtesy is he should’ve texted me in advance?

Honestly, I think both of you need to agree a time and stick to it. None of this confirming or checking to see if texts have been sent. If you've got sleep issues, avoid a morning time.

Not great - annoying I'm sure. But maybe he is ill?

Unless he does this all the time of course. Plus does it really take him an hour and a half to reach you

If this is the first time this has happened, YABU. If he has form for cancelling at short notice or being late, YANBU and I would change instructors.

Well yes, obviously he should have but presumably as he was unwell he slept through his alarm or forgot to set it.

If he's normally reliable I wouldn't get too worked up about a one off mistake.

Annoying but as a one off I'd accept that he was ill and move on.

But any other messing about and I'd ditch and find a new instructor. It's too expensive to be not behaving professionally!

Doesn't sound like morning lessons are for you. Try later one.

Yes he should have text you just like you'd ring in for work ill but he didn't. Have you paid in advance?

And by reliable I mean actually showing up -i can see he's often late. Is he often a no show too? If he is, maybe time to look for a new instructor

Yes we do agree a time that I always stick to, but he sometimes texts me on his way to say he is running late.

But yeah I agree to avoid such an early morning time in future. I’ve asked him to schedule lessons for a bit later if possible from now on.

I'd find a new instructor. This one isn't very professional if they're often late.

Not turning up then cancelling 30 mins after the lesson should have started is crap. Surely they had an alarm set earlier?!?!?

Agree a fixed time, find a new instructor if he is unreliable.

He lives an hour away (He does multiple lessons in my area with other people) So I’m assuming he wakes up around half an hour before leaving hence me estimating his wake up time.

Yeah I appreciate him cancelling if he is unwell just wish he did it a couple of hours earlier. He is usually late but has never cancelled outright like this. I’ll see how it goes for next time!

If he is routinely late and it impacts your day (and it does clearly) then find someone else.

Yeah that’s what I think. These lessons are very expensive - at least for me - and as a former EFL tutor I couldn’t imagine texting my students parents half an hour AFTER I was due to arrive to cancel unless it was a very severe illness

Very unprofessional of him to only let his client know he's not coming half an hour AFTER the lesson was due to start! He really let you down.

Ill or not, unless he was at death's door he could have set his alarm and woken up earlier, then realised how he was feeling and given you plenty of notice of cancellation. He could then have gone back to sleep and so could you! Thoughtless.

Surely they had an alarm set earlier?!

Yeah this is what I was struggling with. I didn’t want to push it any further as I did sent him quite a blunt text and he did apologise to be fair, but I did want to ask did he sleep through his alarm or what?😆 I’d have expected him to wake with his alarm, realise he’s feeling crap then text me then go back to sleep.

OP, despite the 33% of people who have voted that you're being unreasonable, you are NOT being unreasonable.

He is often running 10 to 30 minutes late and on this occasion he's cancelled the lesson AFTER OP asked him if he'd be on time. This is unacceptable. Yes, if it were a one-off, as people are saying, but it's part of a pattern of unreliability and unprofessionalism. Sack him, OP, and find another instructor. Probably not in that order, though.

It was hard to know if I’m just feeling grumpy due to lack of sleep catching up with me this afternoon or if he was bang out of order hence I did the AIBU so good to hear alternative opinions as I’m biased! But thanks @Pemba @uhOhOP I also still do feel it was unprofessional and inconsiderate.

He was actually late by over 30 minutes on the one occasion towards the start of our lessons and I did have a chat with him about it. Since then has ‘only’ been late closer to 10-20 minutes. So he was getting better… and then this!

He is at least polite and fairly patient with me during lessons, so I’ll give him another chance as I’m keen to pass this summer, It’s slim pickings out there with instructors - at least in my area.

You need to dump him and find a new more reliable instructor , I’d worry about how reliable he would be at turning up for the actual test .

@Singleandproud Yeah no more early morning lessons. If I don’t set an alarm /have anyone wake me up, my natural wake up time on a weekend is usually about 9am so won’t be scheduling any lessons before then.

No, I don’t pay in advance thankfully! My last instructor believe it or not was way worse (constantly over 30 minutes late, had other learners in the car , cancelled more than once etc ) and I had paid in advance for 20 hours so I’m grateful that I just pay at end of each lesson with this one.

Agree he should have called earlier but why would he be up at 7am? It doesn't take 1.5h to get ready.

Sorry just saw the update. Maybe a closer instructor may be better so agreed times are less likely to shift.

Are you with a big school or one man band?

I learnt with BSM, yes they were a little more pricey but my instructor was great and very professional possibly because being part of a larger organisation there was someone you could complain to if they were less than stellar I felt like I got what I paid for in terms of instruction and service.

Oh gosh don’t scare me 😅 I really hope not. Test is in 6 weeks. I’ll see how next week goes. Any more issues and he goes too.

i think what also irritates me is I’ve woken up with period pain sometimes and just had to grit my teeth and go ahead with a 2 hour lesson. Because if you cancel within 24 hours you get charged anyway, and yet the instructor can cancel half an hour AFTER the lesson is due to start and there’s no such penalty for him.

I’ve been reasonably flexible with the lateness - especially on weekends - as I do appreciate he is travelling from a distance. But yeah I think whether he lives close to me or not wouldn’t have affected whether he’d text me in a timely fashion regarding today’s cancellation.

I have always worked in an office and we are expected to call in sick before the time we were due to start work. Half an hour (and a message from the boss) later would be unacceptable.

His conduct is unprofessional and inconsiderate. The fact that he is self-employed and not office based doesn't make it OK.

@Singleandproud the average in my area is £35 an hour. I pay £38 an hour so he’s not especially cheap. Not sure how much BSM are charging. I got him through a driving agency that link people with instructors.

They did say I can go back to them if I want a new instructor, at the time they had at least one other available instructor in my area.

But all the big schools like BSM and AA were booked up when I called! Hopefully I’ll pass this summer and be done with it.