To think I need to end this, he's messing me about

[Overpluckedmyeyebrows]

Someone I've been 'seeing' if you can even call it that.
In the beginning he was good at texting, now doesn't reply to lots of them or takes over a day.

It's not that I mind, it's just that he didn't used to. I did ask him about it and he said 'oh I'm just rubbish at texting' but like I say he didn't used to.

Not saying at all that someone has to text constantly and reply immediately, not in the slightest. But when they ignore almost 50% of your texts, it's hard to feel special.

So I stop texting for a bit then he's friendly/flirty again.

We've been out a few times for drinks and to a film etc. I was going on a day trip to a city about an hour and a half from where we live. I casually asked him if he wanted to come and he looked at me like I had two heads or something. Made me feel embarrassed tbh.

I feel like it's mainly me initiating tbh. He's never said anything sweet or really bought me much other than a drink.
It's only been around 6 weeks, but it's just not making me feel special at all, quite the opposite. He's 31, you'd think he'd be a little more mature but maybe not.
He said 'i'll try and get better and texting you back ' , wow I can see where I am on the priority list.

If your gut is saying he's not interested then more than likely, he's not interested

Don't ignore the signs

He’s not that into you. It’s making you anxious, concerned, frustrated?

Accept it, dump him, move on.

You should be a priority, not an option.

There us nothing in this relationship—its not even a relationship really. Just end it. Tell him you aren’t interested and don’t meet up ir accept texts in the future.

It's making me feel like I need to pull back and be a bit 'cooler', but I just think why should I need to do this? Even if it made him more interested, once I started being myself again he'd probably lose interest once more.

Doesn't text for a whole day. Good grief no wonder phones and social media is wrecking young people's mental health.

Gosh finish it. It’s so much stress, it’s only been six weeks.

So you think the answer to him being 'cool' is to be cool back?

Total waste of time.

That's what I've seen advocated on here soo many times.

"play it a bit cooler and you'll get him interested/wanting you more".

Just bin him. He's not that into you, you don't sound that into him. It should be fun at this stage not hard work.

The chemistry isn't there. If it was he'd love to go on a day trip with you.
You're the standby girl.

Too shabby for you.

When a man is interested in you, it's obvious.

Bin him.

That he looked at you so strangely when you suggested a day trip may mean he lacks curiosity, or not being willing enough to do fun things/leave the house.

This. An interested man will contact you regularly (and not just in response to you messaging first) and he will be desperate to spend time with you. You're second guessing yourself and him, and this situation is making you neither happy or secure. Chuck him back and find someone else who makes the effort and makes you feel good about yourself.

I agree with the others, he is not interested. If he was he would make it happen.

I guess they keep you dangling on like this in case there's nothing better 🙄

He's not that interested in you, sounds like he wants to keep you on the back-burner. I bet if you stopped initiating stuff and texted less he'd step it up a bit, but only so he doesn't lose you completely. Obviously if you're an obsessive texter sending umpteen texts a day then it stands to reason he's not going to keep up, but doesn't sound like that. Just cut him loose, it's not going anywhere as a relationship.

Yeah exactly, I highly doubt me texting less would make him realise, wait a minute, I have feelings for this woman! Deffo doesn't work like that.

Yes, especially if you met on a dating app. All that choice, and it's so easy to find someone to date that some people never truly settle for what they have, even if you're a great match. Not saying he's definitely one of those but he's not relationship material.

I think an entire day is quite a long time to not reply when you’re in the early stages, just because this is normally when it’s the most exciting to hear from each other and he’d only need 60 seconds to send a reply. It sounds like it massages his ego to feel a bit in charge which is why you withdrawing a bit makes him suddenly get keen again. It might be that at this point he’s not sure how keen he is so he’s casual about messaging and sees no urgency - a bit like he might be with a mate - whereas you might place more weight on a quick reply. That would explain why he started off sending more and is now tailing off a bit. You have to be yourself: like you say, if you find you need to play mind games and treat him mean then you aren’t being authentic.

It doesn't sound like he's that into you. Don't waste any more time on this! You deserve someone who's keen to spend time with you, and have fun with!

You're the one that keeps messaging not him.

He has also initiated sometimes. Also he's capable of ending it himself, he's not some poor weak man who's being coerced into it.

Don't play games by not texting him, or waiting for him to text first. Your communication ideals do not align. It's not going to work in the long term.

You're not his doormat, don't let him treat you like one.

You're worth better.

I don't get why women are conditioned to act like this. It's on here constantly, apparently men love it when women let them lead, make the first move etc etc. It's sad.