Just want to go home

[holly201]

We are in Greece with our 1 year old and 2 other couples with their kids and I just want to go home.

Little one is overtired and hot, hates the travel cot but sleeps well at home, all of the sunbeds in the shade have towels on them by 7am, meal times are a nightmare, I just feel so overwhelmed.

Constantly worried DD with get burned, is too hot, isn't drinking enough water etc etc I can't relax at all, not one bit.

The room is so shabby, nothing like the photos, chipped tiles, dirty floors, the balcony glass rattles like it's about to break if you touch it. We paid good money, it's tiny and grubby and just shit.

Everything feels like a fight, screams to get in her swimsuit, screams getting out, doesn't want her nappy changed, screams at nap time, if I take her to the room with AC she just wants to play not sleep, it's a fight to all get showered and dressed for the evening.

I don't even know why I'm writing this but it feels good to get it off my chest, I think holidaying abroad with a 1 year old is the worst idea I've ever had. I think I'm going to give it a miss for the next couple of years 🤦🏻‍♀️

We always had simple holidays either in UK or in France, when kids were little.
I must say I am always amazed at the number of families with very young children at airports and faraway resorts. Just stay nearer to home, bucket and spade, and enjoy. Time will come for the other type of holiday later on.

We always self catered when our DC were little, usually a gite in France or eurocamp static caravan in Tuscany etc.

we were in Tuscany during a heatwave one year- we love medieval towns, castles etc so we would just go on a long drive in the heat of the day, AC on full, and the kids would sleep whilst we admired the countryside.

by the time we got to town/castle/lake etc everyone was rested and ready to eat pizza and ice cream and stay up late.

Can you ask the hotel to switch your room? The rattling glass balcony doesn't sound very safe and you have a toddler.

As for towels on the sun bed - sling them off! People shouldn't be able to baggsy facilities they aren't actually using, so they are sitting empty while others would like to use them. Doesn't matter if you piss people off - you don't see them again next week.

Maybe investigate whether there are more child friendly excursions you could take, at different times of the day - I wouldn't worry about keeping your child in their normal routine. You have to adapt to the weather and follow more what local people do with their kids.

Holidays with little ones are overrated. You’re better off staying home as a family and doing treats.

That's why we bought a really cheap touring caravan when the kids were tiny. They grew up caravnning in our beautiful country. Best thing about a tourer is you can have the weather. Check out the forecast in the week and go where it looks best for the weekend. It's a home from home for them, and loads of other kids to play with whilst you chill with a cup of tea 🍵

It's really tough and a huge adjustment of expectations the first time. My kids were hard work as babies/toddlers and I just vetoed holidaying with them until they were 2.5. (Luckily my parents live by the UK seaside so we did have a few days "holiday" there before then.) It's much easier when they can walk a bit, follow basic instructions/be bribed with smarties and don't need bottles made up etc.

When we started holidaying abroad with our eldest we did eurocamps. It was great as we could have our own space and he had his own room. He was a good sleeper but if sharing with us that was too exciting! We did Italy, France then Slovenia/Croatia, all in June before it got too hot. It helped to break the day into lots of little bits as he couldn't settle at anything for long. I was shellshocked by how non stop it was but we'd sunbathe outside our cabin while he had an afternoon nap. We had to get used to not being able to have long lazy boozy dinners. It was get it done and go! Then have a glass of wine on the veranda once he was asleep. Once he was 5+ it got better and easier each year though we would often go May half term (and then somewhere else October half term if we could afford it) rather than in the heat of summer. Did first long haul with him age 7 and he coped brilliantly.

Our second was born when he was 9 so we started all over again, though not with eurocamp - it's far too expensive in school holidays. Tui holiday villages were great though as they have loads of kids clubs from age 3+ which she loved and which gave us a couple of breaks each day from running after her. Once she was 8 we started long haul again and like her brother is now a great traveller.

Hang in there, it's worth it. In the meantime work out what works and do those things in bite size chunks. (We used to bring a portable dvd player and watch a disney film in the room during the hottest part of the day. These days it's a tablet with stuff downloaded from Netflix!) I was quite firm about healthy eating at home but on holiday i let them eat what they wanted as it kept them fed and sitting at the table. The fight to apply sunscreen however is still a battle grrrr.

We have twins and would regularly stop at holiday destinations enroute to Australia with them from the age of 6 months.

The only one holiday we had with issues was the one we where we were holidaying with others for a wedding so was trying to fit the twin's routines around trying to work in being with the other people. ie need to have a nap now as we are going to dinner at x. or need a bath now as need to be at dinner at x.

the thing is as your toddlers first trip abroad they are likely feeling misplaced and likely they want some control over their environment to help with this anxiety so that's why they are fighting you.

need a nappy change? ask them - your nappy is full shall we change it? if they say no - leave it and ask again in 10mins.

would you like to go to the pool - we need swimmers for the pool like the other children - shall we put your swimmers on too ?

This is why I didn’t take my children abroad until they were old enough to understand. Much older than yours. They were happy in this country. I noticed on a recent flight the amount of small children that became upset with having to keep a seat belt on etc. It’s hard when you can’t explain it to them. To me that isn’t a holiday. If it’s just a week it will go quick. Maybe book a spa weekend or something to recover! I feel for you hope it improves.

I don’t think it’s the being abroad that’s necessarily a problem, but more the type of holiday. We have always booked villas with private pools & a garden and got a hire car, rather than hotels / apartments with shared pools. That way you can shape your holiday to fit your little one a bit better and everything is much more relaxed and enjoyable for everyone. We took our first son abroad for the first time at 3 months old, and have been doing hot holidays and skiing hols several times a year since.

Also, Greece at this time of year is pretty hot, you might have been better going to France where the weather is warmer than Britain but not so hot, for a first attempt with your toddler. Hopefully you’lol have some better days before you fly home, and can recharge your batteries a bit.

We had a fantastic holiday in a villa in Florida when dc was 20 months. Villa was lovely own pool (all safety fenced/alarned), kitchen.
We went when it was cooler.
We very much went with flow so dc slept late, we had lie ins and was up late.
Everything was very child friendly.

We tried that too. All inclusive. 9 months. We were used to nice holidays travelling and backpacking. Baby crawling and falling over and burning themselves on the hot floor. In the end I stropped at staff so they got us sunbeds and we made it through. We then spent 7 years on holidays in Cornwall, Devon, Scotland and France where we could throw everything in the car.

I know travel bloggers say you can travel with kids but I don't want to spend £4k on flights to use a playground I could use in South West England.

We're now back to our old pre baby holidays with the kids. Backpacking. Interrailing. They love it. We keep the same bedtime hours - kids will stay up chatting in restaurants until 11pm whilst we drink wine and play games. They're now 8 and 10 and it's glorious. It will pass.

Just make your life easier until it does.

My eldest is 12 and my youngest is almost 2. We travel frequently, all over the world and also do lots of camping and music festivals. I have learned that travelling with kids is almost never as good as the memories of travelling with kids. I have had to catch poo into napkins whilst halfway up a mountain in a ski lift. I have washed sick out of my own hair into a tiny basin (with next to no water pressure) on a sleeper train in the middle of a desert. I have thrown clothes from a balcony in Greece in a fit of rage whilst other holidaymakers filmed me... It's proabably on TikTok. I have changed nappies on the tarmac of Barbados airport. I have jumped from a moving vehicle in order to save "Bobby" - a pink bunny that I guard with my life.

On top of this, we have had knocked-out teeth, grape choking, sun burn, allergies, heat stroke, an over-interested bear... You name it.

Plus, I am the one who organises, packs, unpacks, washes 20kg of laundry... And I also have to get everything for a song, because I grew up with no money and still can't bear to waste a penny of my own now. This can make it even more stressful.

OP, I honestly, honestly don't know why I do it. We're taking our non-school aged one to Glasto in 3 weeks and I think I might actually be insane.

I think it is normal to want to come home, especially when the hotel is a bag of dicks. I can remember weeping over a runny blancmange in a particularly shabby hotel in Agadir a few years ago. (What can I say? I was tired.)

My kids do constantly talk about how amazing our holidays have always been. In fact, the one I hated the most was their "favourite".

I don't have any advice, because I'm clearly insane but... Solidarity, sister. Holidaying with kids is no holiday.

OP, you poor thing. I agree, it's no holiday at all. We never took DC abroad until they were about 7 or 8 and old enough to actually enjoy things being a bit different from home.

But I don't want to sound smug. Instead, we had endless overpriced UK holidays in rank, damp, decrepit cottages in Devon and Dorset and Wales, trying to stop them swallowing Monopoly board houses while the rain poured down.

Oh bless you, deep breaths. I think the first holiday abroad with a small child really wakes you up to the BIG CHANGE life has undergone. No more sunlounger/cocktail/good book, no nice dinners out (replaced by mad sprint round the buffet to eat in shifts), no more lazy lie ins - i think in some ways we expect daily life to be a grind but holidays to be different and have maintained their relaxation magic, but it is actually harder caring for a toddler abroad and it's just same (literal) sh*t/different place. Try and find the good bits, maybe she loves the pool or loves the sand (once you find it, do it on repeat!). Try and split off if you're with other couples, can the dads take the kids for a nap and the mums go for a drink or the spa for a couple of hours to breath out?
I'd suggest center parcs for this age, the pool is perfect, you know exactly what you're getting, everyone has their own bedroom and there's great food for kids.
There's light at the end of the tunnel (unless you go for baby two). We had an awesome holiday at ages 6 and 4, covid had just finished, we went to Greece AI, they loved the beach and were swimmers by then so I genuinely could relax with a book. I read three novels, I went to the spa when they did waterparks with dad, we ate OUT and they ATE GREEK FOOD, everyone will sleep ok by then too and we could all do the slides at the little waterpark and some lovely historic day trips. My hubbie and I both just sat on the plane home in wonder at how well it went! Now we go everywhere and it's fab. It won't last long till you get there

This sounds like a holiday we had when DC1 was about 15 months. OMG. I love travelling, and we had some great holidays when he was a baby, but that one was the only holiday when I was seriously looking for flights to come back early.

He wouldn't sleep. He wouldn't eat. Only whining, constantly whining. All he wanted to was toddle around, but he was not stable enough to do it independently, and hotel consisted mostly of stairs. So one of us could sit and quickly eat, while the other had to hold DS' hand and walk around with him.
Beach? Ha. He HATED sand with passion. Only beach he liked was the pebbly one, where he proceeded to stuff all the pebbles in his mouth. Then whined some more when I removed them.

It will get better though. And I agree, for next trips, try a child-centered hotel, not just children allowed one. Kinderhotels in Austria for example are brilliant.

You've done the hard bit, which is realising that expectations were probably a bit off base.

I love taking my children anywhere and everywhere. Life isn't a doddle at home with 3 under 4 so it's not really put me off the added challenge of travel because I kind of figure... At least I get to do these extra things. But please don't mistake that for anything other than radical acceptance lol. Lots of things go wrong and the daily grind comes along for the ride.

Really hope that you enjoy the rest of your holiday. It's new to you all and the advice of many pp's is solid.
Hope you make some amazing memories, even if some of it tests your sanity.

This is the exact reason I never took my kids abroad when they were younger, I was waiting until they were a bit older and the plan was to go a few years ago however I then had an unplanned pregnancy the year we were planning to go and never went. Now my little one is almost 2 and we have booked Spain for Aug, I'm absolutely dreading it but don't want to leave it another few years and my two older daughters miss out on that fun 😔 I know it won't be a holiday but I'm going to try and make it as fun for my older girls as I can while dad deals with the toddler 🤣🤣

I hear you, op. We took eldest dc away when he was 2 on a holiday that was arranged precovid and kept getting delayed so he wasn't even born when we booked it. It was absolute hell. Even with my family there as help. DH and I agreed no more until our kids are older. We're now doing local Eurocamp holidays with a drive shorter than 4 hours..

I feel your pain! It's a big adjustment for all and the heat creates a massive amount to deal with with a young one.

Just put it down to experience and go on a lovely UK holiday another time. I hate the flying now and just dream about UK holidays.

Maybe i got lucky but i didn't have to pretend, our holidays were never hell, she adapted to new time zones and new temperatures very well, loved new foods, she's 7 now and LOVES her holidays and still trying loads of new foods.
Sorry you've had a tough time OP.

When ours were really small we didn't take them abroad ever. Just maybe a 4/5 day trip to a cottage in Norfolk and we would go on outings from there. (Dino Land, BeWilderWood, the little steam train etc).

When they were a little older (up to about 11) we went on many Euro / Key Camp holidays to France. One place in Picardy had a fishing lake and my 3 boys and husband would fish nearly all day and i kept a spreadsheet of who caught what. Sounds dull but i say on the veranda of our plastic house and sunbathed and or read and dished out ice lollies. Simple fun.

It does get easier. I had one holiday with an 11m that I remember being quite stressful. It got easier generally after that and this year was lovely with a 5 and 7yo with the latter being even easier than the younger one. Both were happy in kids club for a few hours every day.

You do have to be quite careful about the quality of accommodation. There’s no point going if It’s going to be harder than at home. I’ve got to the point where I’d rather have a luxury holiday every few years rather than something a bit rubbish every year.

I've had similar experiences OP. We all get so sick of the gloom in this country that we rush to book holidays in the hottest, sunniest places we can find. But we forget how horrendous the heat can be. I remember a holiday in Spain where it remained in the mid-30s the entire time we were there. By the end, I was almost insane. I yearned for cold and drizzle!

Poor you. Sounds awful.

I don’t agree that holidays abroad are not worth it with babies and toddlers. You just have to think carefully about the type.

We always took ours away from when they were under a year, our eldest’s first flight was to Miami when he was 8 months. We have only done UK breaks with them 2 or 3 times (and if the weather’s shite, they can be very boring), but trips abroad dozens and always long flights.

But we ALWAYS booked a villa or a house. Hotels are too restrictive imo. I think it’s so much easier when you have a home from home and your own pool to wear them out in. In the evenings, we could sit outside and grill then use the hot tub while they were happily zonked out in a bedroom.

Is there a shaded kids pool? When mine were that age me and DH would just take turns sitting at the edge of the kids pool during the day and letting them splash then we'd put them in the pram for a walk and nap around lunchtime- then lunch and indoors for a bit during the midday heat- that seemed to work quick well.
I personally don't like the beach but i've seen people put a little paddling pool beside the sunbeds in teh shade and then they can play in the sand beside but shaded.