The horse spooked...

[Welshiegreen]

If someone is riding in an arena and a woman and child walks past a makes a noise, spooking the horse, who is being unreasonable?

The woman checked the child immediately and the child apologised and then was quiet. The rider did not acknowledge the child's apology.

For context - I am the mother of the child. We were not aware that there was someone riding in the arena. The noise was my son running across some tarpaulin. We apologised and my son was very remorseful.

The rider remains raging that we spooked the horse.

Beyond apologising I'm not sure what more there is we can do. They were not unseated or harmed. Are we being unreasonable? The persistent rage is making me uncomfortable and my son feels bad.

Nope. Horses can spook at a leaf flying by or pretty much anything (ours recently spooked at a tradesman wearing an orange suit 🤷‍♀️). Not your fault and nothing happened anyway.

I wouldn't think you can do anymore. I would in future always pass the arena quietly as you can't always tell if someone is in there, but I wouldn't be cross if you have been apologetic and assuming neither rider nor horse were hurt, I would just put it down as one of those things.
I have a young horse, who will spook at things, but it's my job as her owner to help build her confidence so that outside noises don't alarm her.

You’re not unreasonable.

Shit happens.

You apologised, end of story.

Depends on the context. If you were at a yard where children were either not supposed to be there or strictly under adult supervision then I’d be pretty pissed off that he was allowed to run over the tarpaulin. But as long as I didn’t fall off or get injured I’d probably just think ‘dick parent’. And in response to the child’s apology I’d probably have said a stern “ok but it’s not a good idea to run around near where people are riding” or something along those lines.

Depends imo. Were you walking in a livery yard? We were always taught as kids never to run/be loud at the yard as there are potentially spooky horses any where. Especially when you're by an arena. That's just being daft.

On a public footpath that just happens to run next to a school? Nah, not your fault

If your kid can't behave around horses they shouldn't be on a livery yard tbh. It's more the fault of whoever let you in though.

You may think the rider is over reacting but they know the horse. The kid can't die from being told off, the rider could have died or been badly injured from being thrown. They were in an arena which is meant to be a safe training space, if they were on the road I would side with you and say the rider should have not taken a spooky horse on the road which is an unpredictable space and an uncontrolled environment, if they were not confident the animal was ready.

Given the situation yabu.

Tbf. I’d be really cross too. It could have caused a nasty accident.

I think a little bit of both, in an ideal world when there are horses around you'd keep your kids close and calm and not running around on tarpaulin even if you haven't spotted the rider, but then again it's rude of her not to accept your apology and still be raging about it some time later.

It is quite annoying as a rider when people treat your yard as an adventure playground cum petting zoo cum riding exhibition, we have a footpath that runs right through the yard so it's unavoidable to some extent, many many people do not stick to the footpath and just wander everywhere with impunity. I absolutely try my hardest to be polite even though my horse is in fact quite scared of children (particularly ones wearing puffer jackets for some reason which is quite a problem in winter), but that's my problem not theirs. It can be quite hard to bite your tongue though when there's so much blatant bad behavior and entitlement, people letting their kids run around rampant and screaming, scooting and biking around off the footpath (and risking getting under the horses feet), off lead dogs terrorizing the animals, kids playing on the farm equipment (so dangerous!), swinging off the arena gate or sitting on the fence with feet dangling down (so dangerous!) - I get that wasn't you but if your were maybe the third parent this week who has let their child spook her horse maybe she was at the end of her tether and hence the rudeness?

I'm wondering how or why you were walking so close to the arena that your son running across tarpaulin was noticeable enough to spook the horse? Was it a private arena or one belonging to a school?
Don't think you could have done much more than you did though and, as others have said, horses can spook at the slightest silly thing-usually though you'd be aware if the horse was that type as the rider.

If it's a riding school or livery yard then it's really not on to mess about or make any unnecessary loud noises tbh.

I've ridden and had horses for 35 plus years -I've had endless amounts of spooks/scares. I wouldn't be remotely upset or pissed off in this situation. It was unintentional and I can't expect to ride with no interruptions or noise ever (I wouldn't want to honestly as if I'm going to HOYS I want as much noise and bluster during training as possible).

Horses are by their very nature flight animals and a rider you need to deal with that. The arena is a perfect place to experience these sorts of disruptions as they prepare the horse for real life so as long as you apologise and nobody came to harm, its all fair dos in my eyes.

Caveat - I used to do horse agility with my pony so if someone had run over a tarpaulin in his vicinity he'd have wanted to get underneath it to earn a treat 😂

Tell the squirrel that spooked the horse I was riding to apologise after the horse threw me, did a tap dance on my back and left me with a fractured spine!

Horses are spooky things that decide to ignore with aloof or act like a drama queen to the slightest odd happening that bumbles across their day! It's just in their nature. Contradictory so and so's...!

So true. I had a horse you could set a rocket off under. Could lead her from a tractor, chickens would sit on her back while she was in the stable, could put her in the busiest arena with spotlights and applause and music and she would be dozing off in the line up. Absolutely terrified of manhole covers. Eyes on stalks, tottering past snorting terrified. Never had an incident with one so no idea where it came from 🤷‍♀️

Depends if you were on a livery yard or riding stables. If yes then yabu. Kids shouldn't be running about around horses. It's dangerous for everyone, the rider, the horse, you and your child. Anything could happen. Horses spook and bolt at most things, including kids.

My dd got thrown from her horse after a child was pissing about and running backwards and forwards next to the school. She ended up with a torn ligaments in her ankle which meant she couldn't ride again for weeks and I ended up having to be in yard duty for weeks. All because a parent wouldn't parent their child, even after I'd asked the child to stop running.

Horses can spook at really random things. My lesson horse once spooked at a piece of tinsel on the ground. The same tinsel that had been wound round the bars of his stable for the past 3 weeks.

Leaf blower, nope
Lorries flying past too close, nope, totally chilled.
Dropped hosepipe flicking him in the face, cool as a cucumber.
Small children tying rattling, beaded friendship bracelets round his hocks, loves it.

Tiny piece of reflective plastic? Omfg, it's going to eat me, we're all going to diiiiiiieee!

But that said, your child shouldn't have been mucking about at a yard. They should know how to behave around horses (walking on tarp is a no no) or they should be quietly next to you.

A child should not be running on a yard full stop.

Were you meant to be where you were? Ie, public foot path.
Were you behaving as you were expected to behave? ie, yard, no kids, or yard, no running.

If you were behaving as expected/where you had a right to be, then no the rider is being a fanny and wants to get over herself and train her horse better. Horses should be used to people making noises and if you're working with a horse that isn't, yet, its up to you to ensure the environment you're in is a safe one.

If you were not meant to be there, or kiddo was meant to be quietly by your side/holding hands/you knew a young or spooky horse was being worked with... then you might be at fault.

Some people are just raging all the time, it might not be anything to do with the incident.

You’re by a riding arena. Respect and all that, not difficult. Why would you think DC is a priority? Just keep an eye next time.

The rider was probably fed up with daft distractions to the horse, who, as a horse, can kick a child.

Children can’t run near horses. Dangerous. Not for the horse.

One of those situations where you always think its ok till It happens.

But to continue being enraged after the event and after the apology, is that reasonable? What else does the rider want? She wasn't thrown off, nobody died and nobody was harmed, so is it proportionate? How many apologies does she want? It sounds like nothing actually happened but the rider just won't drop it. So the kid spooked her horse. They apologised. The end. Surely? This is persistent ongoing rage being directed at op, not just after the event but onwards. The rider is being unreasonable in that instance.

It was on a child friendly livery yard. Son is normally very responsible and calm around horses. The tarp was on the far end of the carpark away from arena, probably about 40 yards from arena gate. It was a genuine mistake in that we didn't think there was horse there.

Yes both horse and rider were unharmed, but I've been made to feel very, very bad about the whole incident.

It's hardly crime of the century then is it. You've apologized and you won't let your son do it again. Hard to see what more you can do or say really, she sounds quite mad...

Horses need to man horse up

Hmm I live next door to the arena of an International show jumper I grew up around racehorses who frankly are dicks if a blade of grass is out of place. I am always apologising for my dogs, lawnmower etc he continually tells me horses have to get used to that stuff and if when he is giving lessons he isn't bothered.
The only thing he has expressed concern about is when our new roof trusses go in there will be a massive crane and we will give hime plenty of notice and he wo't use the arena on that day.