What are good ways to get dopamine?

[wiseoldsnail]

I've realised I need to find new ways to get dopamine. Trying to break a trauma bond from my ex husband on my own....10 months separated and haven't dated anyone. I want to heal as much as possible before I do this.

I do know that I relied on dopamine from my ex husband who was always hit and cold...the usual you get from a narcissistic person.

I just need to make myself feel good and confident and get that 'rush' feeling from myself to myself and no one else.

I have a job interview tomorrow so I'm hoping that goes well! First time I've been back to work in years - I've been a full time carer for my autistic son.

Exercise. A brisk walk for half an hour is enough (try to be 'present' in your surroundings and not your thoughts for added sense of well-being). But any form of exercise.

As @CroftonWillow says - exercise.

Do you just mean 'get happy'? Maybe just identify what makes you happy and what doesn't, and do more of the happy stuff and less of the not stuff? Am I oversimplifying here?

The thing is I don't know what makes me happy anymore as my whole world for years was constantly trying to please someone else. If I made him happy then I was happy. Very sad but true.

I should have maybe been more clear - I mean specifically in terms of trying to get over some trauma.

Exercise. Fresh air. Balanced diet removed processed food.

I was in a similar state after divorce #2. I remembered that I love automated car washes 😂 so took my old banger for many good scrubs!

Walking and really getting involved with your surroundings is helpful for shock. This is a good time of year for it - lots of flowers to examine, birds to watch, swans on the river, etc.

Vigorous exercise.

Do things 'just for you' and savour them. One of mine is loafing outside a café, coffee and a brownie, just enjoy watching the world. Find some of yours.

Go to a supermarket and buy foods YOU like, all the better if he didn't like them, and new stuff you'd like to try. Go for it! Feel smug.

'Extreme' experiences give exactly the same dopamine hit. I don't know you and your situation, but some examples could be: big theme park rides; ski-ing or snowboarding; trampolining or aerial gym; diving off the high board; racetrack driving. If able, you could take a course in something like circus skills or judo for a regular boost and sense of mastery.

Cold showers.

Advising caution with this one ... A no-strings shag. It helps to over-write the ex and feel in charge of your sexuality. Choose your target and timing carefully, though. It should be fun!

Long-distance running

exercise

combat sports are really good (ime) for switching the brain from flight to confidence (boxing, judo, fencing...)

Setting small achievable goals. Crafting is good - it's meditative, it keeps your hands busy, and you see the results of your work immediately. Knitting, crocheting, sewing, maybe folding origami if that's your bag.

I agree with the exercise. This will probably sound very lame, but I also get my dopamine hit with jigsaws!! Every time I find a piece that fits, I get a little rush of excitement!

Volunteering?

Looking at kittens on Instagram (I'm not joking)

Enrol on some training.

Small everyday things for me are: running a bubble bath, speaking on the phone to someone I love, binge watching something.

Look at ways to help someone with ADHD, all good practices for helping with Dopamine hits and troughs.

For exercise The Body Project is good on YouTube and Fight Master has a beginners Yoga Course.

Like others have said a walk is also good.

Have you tried Meditation too? Insight Timer is a free app and you can choose how long you want to meditate for.

Look at trying to reduce carbs and alcohol wand increase protein too. No need for faddy diets, just things like if you fancy a snack, try to choose a higher protein one

Morning sun is meant to be crucial.

I don’t know about getting over trauma, but I saved this diagram ages ago. I’m sure you can find something more scientific, but it shows that there are lots of routes to ‘happy’.
Another one of them is not even exactly being happy, more content when you’re really in the zone with something. I get it when I’m gardening, doing a job where I can see progress, like decorating. Sometimes even at work if I can just focus on one thing.

Have you tried journaling? . . . you could write down what you have done each day and put a star by the side of anything you particularly enjoyed and a cross by the side of anything which really hasn't worked for you. You should soon start to see a pattern . . .

Or writing down how you feel, what changes you would like to make and how you could achieve this

There's loads of good stuff on YouTube which will explain this better ~ I find it to be really insightful

Thanks for sharing this. I think it's very helpful :)

EXERCISE

OM meditation. I love it! Feel amazing afterwards. There has been studies published on it calming the nervous system.

Dont focus too much on ‘dopernine hits’

Focus on peace and settling your nervous system. Focus on creating a super safe loving home and pour love in to yourself.

This is honestly the best time to find yourself. Avoid dating sites and invest so much time finding happiness in small things.

Journal, meditation, exercise, forgiving yourself - because I know you will have some feelings of blame towards yourself. Therapy if you can afford it, podcasts about building self esteem/finding joy.

Dont go down rabbit holes of why your ex treated you the way he did. Move on and create the life you want and all that starts with finding peace and protecting it 💗

exercise exercise exercise... the gym is my happy place and you can tell when i've missed a few days. I'm not a gym rat, i am old, unfit and overweight.. but i get such a buzz from being there.

if you can't afford a gym.. then walk.. or run, or hula hoop or skip or cycle.. but honestly, you wont get a better fix

Dance! Put on some songs you love (that make you go 'omg I LOVE this song!') and dance your socks off!

rollercoasters, laughing, cold shower/dip in the sea, doing something a bit risky you've never done before (iceskating or go karting)

These all give you an adrenalin and dopamine hit - make you feel alive

This is a good one. I have a ‘move my body’ play list 😁

Music. Exercise. Time spent with friends. Dog walks. Solo coffee dates. Cooking your favourite recipes

bilateral stimulation music listened to on headphones is something that helps in resolving trauma and anxiety. give that a try?

plenty on youtube

I think it's important to accept that the dopamine rush is not something you actually need. If you've been using it to stave off anxiety because it meant that everything was ok, you probably feel empty and anxious without anything to fret about and aim for. Your baseline needs to come down.

I think we're all different in what we enjoy. I like making things on a potter's wheel. Soothing and fun.

Climbing. Good exercise, very good head clearing IME and a nice social scene