To report this phone as stolen?

[TheHopefulMum]

Long story short husband and I separated last summer, DV involved including an arrest and conviction for him and so very little contact unless it's regarding the children. Any contact we do have is offer bitter and almost always turns violent from his side.

Anyway I have an account with Sky for our TV, broadband and 3 mobile phone contacts (2 x phone and sim and 1 x sim only)
Ex had / has one of the phones including sim contract as it was taken out for him, but on my account, before we split and he has kept it.

The contact is valid until 2026 and I cannot cancel without paying over 1k. Every month I have to chase him for the £60 payment and every month he either sends it late or doesn't pay at all, leaving me out of pocket. I have tried to persevere as I cannot afford to be paying £60 a month for something I don't have and can't use, however it's gotten to the point now where he's using it as leverage and control.

As the phone is in my name and I have asked him to return it several times, me or one of the children could use it, but he's refused can I report it as stollen? I don't want to waste police time and suspect they may say it's a civil matter but I don't really know what else to do. I can't be in this situation for another 2 years.

Any advise? Thanks

I would do. You dont have it, you pay for it and he won’t return it

For me that's the definition of stolen, so YWNBU.

Report as stolen keep it generic - lost on night out by husband.

Phone sky and say the phone has been lost can they deactivate the sim and issue a new one.

Cant you just say you lost it and to deactivate the SIM and send a new one. If you say steal it you may need crime ref numbers etc from the police.

Sorry to be clear the phone doesn't have insurance, as far as I'm aware, unless he has arranged this himself. Have spoken with the police and they have stated it's a civil matter.

I suppose the next best option for me is to take out some insurance at my expense then report it as stolen and claim that way for a new phone.

I'm not sure what happens with the sim though as I wouldn't want the number, I could potentially have my daughter's number transferred to the some I suspect?

Taking out insurance for a phone which is already in somebody else’s possession and then reporting it as stolen is insurance fraud. For insurance purposes it hasn't been stolen if you gave him the phone. The best way to address it is either with a small claim which you can file online, or as a debt he agreed to repay you for in your financial settlement when you divorce.

Yes this is another option I considered as in hoping he would agree to a lesser settlement to account for me paying off the contract in full and being done with it. Unfortunately the divorce is proceeding very slowly at this moment in time so I'll have to preserve I suppose.

Is there a point at which OP could file a small claim for the cost of the phone, if she can claim against her husband? Edited as crossed with @ComtesseDeSpair

I doubt he will return the phone, but can you cancel the sim as lost, get a replacement and transfer your daughter's number to the sim via Sky?

Have they confirmed that you have to keep the same number or can you change the number while continuing to pay the contract?

Unfortunately it's not just the sim but the device itself, both of which are in contact until 2026 at a cost of £60 a month.

Cancelling the sim will also result in violence on his behalf I suspect as he uses the number for work purposes as well as his own personal use.

He is very controlling and not the man I married unfortunately. He will use anything he can against me and the children.

Why don't you ring Sky and have a chat with them? I'm sure they've had this situation before so worth a try..?

I've already spoken to Sky and they've stated it is what it is basically. I'm liable for it until the contract ends.

I had similar, I told ee to change the number and send me the sim

So I think you need some legal advice and to speak to sky

but i would message you ex to say the contract with sky is ending early (he doesn’t need to know you can’t afford to pay if off) so if he wants to keep that number he will need to get it transferred before x date or the sim will stop working as the contract is ending (keep it factual and to the point)

then talk through the options you have with sky about changing the number
whilst frustrating I’d assume you won’t get the handset back

The trouble is the handset is the most expensive part which is why I've tried to get him to continue to pay for it. It's a lose lose really.

Can you include the handset cost in you’re divorce settlement
id assume this could be another way for your solicitor to show his unreasonable nature

sorry you’re going through this

Yes it looks like that may be my only option, however I'm out of pocket and tolerating endless abuse until then.

You’re just going to have to include it in the divorce, so he pays this extra on top of what you would have got. It doesn’t help you afford it now, but there isn’t anyway to get it back if he refuses. Unless one of your kids i old enough to take it and bring it home, but that’s a very dangerous road to go down so I wouldn’t.

Keep very clear records of when he pays true £60 and when he doesn’t, so he can’t argue back when you add it in to your divorce. Just have a clear record of exactly what he owes plus whatever remains on the contract when your divorce goes through.

You can't take out insurance then claim it's stolen as it would be fraud, and SKY will already have a record of you phoning to enquire about cancelling it.

As you have a contract you HAVE to pay it.

I would speak to SKY again and explain the situation. Ask them if they will blacklist his handset so it doesn't work, then issue a SIM ONLY new number that one of your children can then use in a different handset.

Yes, you'll have to keep paying for a phone that is now blacklisted, but at least the line rental part of the contract can be used which is better than nothing.

If the above is feasible, then I'd probably write to your ex saying that either he returns the phone or pays his £60 a month on time, otherwise the handset will be cancelled and no longer work.

Make sure you have also changed all your passwords on the phone account and get SKY to make a note that no one else other than you can access the account.

I am getting nothing from the divorce as he has accumulated a massive amount of debt and is currently harassing me to buy him out of the house, which I am trying my very best to do, however as single mum to 3 mortgage providers aren't exactly throwing themselves at me.

I think the best option is to have it in writing that I have officially asked him to return the phone and then if he doesn't again have it in writing that I'd like the balance of the contract deducted from what he'd like me to pay him.

Why would you get nothing because of his debt?
You aren’t liable for that and if it’s in joint names and you didn’t consent you need to take legal action

have you spoken to woman’s aid? I think they would be able to help you

No the debt is not in my name and I knew nothing about it until our split. Unfortunately as we were (are still) legally married when the debt was taken out I am liable for 50% unless we have it written in to the financial settlement that he agrees I am not liable.

He has nothing for me to have from the divorce, no money, no pension, no property, nothing. I on the other hand have a very good pension and would like to keep the family home, buying him out of course.

I am guilty of possibly trying to be to nice to him for the sake of attempting to keep the peace and in the hopes it will make the divorce and financial settlement easier.

No the debt is not in my name and I knew nothing about it until our split. Unfortunately as we were (are still) legally married when the debt was taken out I am liable for 50% unless

thats not true who told you that?

https://www.equifax.co.uk/resources/debt-management/marriage-and-bad-debt.html#:~:text=If%20they've%20taken%20debt,their%20part%20of%20the%20repayment.

The debt is not yours. Have you got a lawyer or are you doing this yourself?

If you can’t buy him out then you need to sell up and just move on with your life. Of course he isn’t moving on the divorce if he is waiting for you to buy him out. It’s another thing to hold over you.

Sell the house. Take your half of the money. He can use his half to pay off his debts and you move on.