To report this phone as stolen?

[TheHopefulMum]

Long story short husband and I separated last summer, DV involved including an arrest and conviction for him and so very little contact unless it's regarding the children. Any contact we do have is offer bitter and almost always turns violent from his side.

Anyway I have an account with Sky for our TV, broadband and 3 mobile phone contacts (2 x phone and sim and 1 x sim only)
Ex had / has one of the phones including sim contract as it was taken out for him, but on my account, before we split and he has kept it.

The contact is valid until 2026 and I cannot cancel without paying over 1k. Every month I have to chase him for the £60 payment and every month he either sends it late or doesn't pay at all, leaving me out of pocket. I have tried to persevere as I cannot afford to be paying £60 a month for something I don't have and can't use, however it's gotten to the point now where he's using it as leverage and control.

As the phone is in my name and I have asked him to return it several times, me or one of the children could use it, but he's refused can I report it as stollen? I don't want to waste police time and suspect they may say it's a civil matter but I don't really know what else to do. I can't be in this situation for another 2 years.

Any advise? Thanks

Please speak to woman’s aid, I don’t think you’re being given the right advice and they are super helpful

I suggest you say "if you still want to use the phone and number please set up a direct debit in the next 7 days, or I'll cancel the number and get the handset blocked"
You'll still have to pay for it, but I think he'll probably realise you mean it and should sort the DD out.

Either that, or he knows he can ignore you and your demands...

My solicitor has advised me that I am jointly liable, it is correct.

I would get a new solicitor

on the basis of what you said ie the debt is not in joint names this is incorrect advice

You could report it to the police as it is your property that he will not return. Also, mention the constant abuse from him to the police. Hopefully, he will stop.

I hope you get it sorted 😊

I have contacted the police and they cannot help as it's a civil matter.

My solicitor is correct, my sister in law is going through the same situation with his brother, ironically enough, and her solicitor has also advised her the same.

Incase you miss this on woman’s aid this is who I’d speak to

are you using the same solicitor 🤣

I strongly suggest speaking to someone else
link above for one of the free advice lines available

Next time he doesn't pay, can you just tell Sky to suspend service for his number, I know you still have to pay it, but just tell them to suspend the service till he has paid you?

I appreciate there could be more to it than you want to share but your solicitor in not correct based on what you’re saying…
anyway will duck out now and wish you the best

So, the debt he ran up must be in joint names then? You’re not liable unless it was ran up on a joint account.

Contact women’s aid for advice. They must’ve seen this happen fairly regularly.

That would be fraud. I really wouldn't. Get a new sim and give it to one of the children you can change the number.

No different solicitors. There is absolutely no debt in my name and nothing secured against the house.

We are using different solicitors and until they informed me of this I also assumed I would not be liable, I will look at the link you provided as it really does seem silly that I would be liable when I knew nothing about it and it's not in my name.

I don't want the sim for the children, I don't want the phone as such I just don't want to pay for something I can't use.

I never thought of asking sky to cut the number off until he pays, however considering his violent nature I'm not sure it would be worth the hassle, or my safety.

Could you claim on your house insurance as most cover mobile phones.

Please do it’s just not correct advice at all

Also getting a restraining order for your safety

The phone hasn’t been stolen. OP gave the phone to her ex with the agreement that he would repay her what she was paying for the contract. She needs to pursue her ex to fulfil that private contract between them, either as a small claim or as part of their divorce settlement. Her home insurance - indeed any insurance - isn’t going to pay out because the relationship has ended and he’s stopped paying so she’s decided she wants the phone she gave him back.

The contract was actually taken out without my knowledge some years ago, but that's a whole other issue in itself.

Anyway looks like I'll just be out of pocket for the foreseeable. That oh top of no maintenance, he's a wonderful person.

If he opened the Sky account and took out numerous contracts without your knowledge by fraudulently using your details then that’s something you could have pursued. However, it’s going to be very difficult as you’ve been using the Sky services and in possession of at least one of the phones and paying for it all from your own bank account for so long without reporting the fraud.

If this all happened several years ago then surely a number of the fixed term contracts must now be able to be cancelled?

It's not worth going in to, I just have to deal with it.

This refers to debt which one party has prior to the marriage (and even then, it’s not totally definitive.) OP is referring to debt that was accrued during the marriage. Just as assets accrued during the marriage are considered marital assets regardless of whose name they’re in or who earned the money used to buy them, debts accrued during the marriage are considered marital debts regardless of whose name they’re in. That’s the starting point. From there, a variation can be made if it can be established that the debt was incurred solely for the benefit of the person whose name the debt is in: this can be the case where it can be proven the money was spent on e.g. a gambling addiction. It’s more difficult to prove that there wasn’t joint knowledge benefit if it’s just general household spending on credit cards or something like a car which it will have been obvious had been purchased. OP’s solicitor will be advising based on what evidence OP has been able to provide and what they know can be challenged.

Yes exactly that.

I suspect, although he denys it, that there was drugs involved, not just with regards to the spending but with the change in character and the violence etc.

The debts were accrued during marriage and as such I am jointly liable, although not in my name and I had no idea that the debts even existed until we separated. I knew that he had a can on finance, credit cards, as do I, however I was always under the impression that they were paid as they should be.

Since we separated it came to light that they hadn't been paid in quite a few months, he had also taken out payday loans and had taken money from people for work he never completed or even began. I am so far aware of at least 75k worth of debt, which he has admitted to. He has said that he will sign as part of our financial settlement to say that he does not hold me liable and has no interest in my pension, which is quite substantial.

He is pushing for me to buy him out of our family home as he needs the money and he would also like to go bankrupt as he cannot take control of his debts, even with a consolidation as some of the debts are relating to his business which they won't touch.

Its all very messy and I wonder how it came to this but I must stay strong for my wonderful little ones.

I can’t help but come back to say OP this is not correct about you being liable for the debt at all it’s quite frankly a load of rubbish

its just not the case if it’s in his sole name - unless there is more to it but even so if he’s taken debt in your name, that you don’t know about this is fraud and you are still NOT LIABLE

I’m super concerned about the capability of your solicitor for giving this incorrect and misleading advice?

please contact the numbers I liked at woman’s aid and get some proper financial advice before you get it a pickle you do not need to be in