Men at work referring to woman as "it"

[tothebeachplease]

I work in a predominantly male environment and the conversations are really quite vile about women but it's male to male conversation and I keep myself to myself at work.
I have learned to ignore it mostly because I need to concentrate on what I'm doing but AIBU to think it's really not ok that everytime they talk about a woman whoever it is they refer to them as "it"?
Not her, she, them just "it" and yes it is all of them.

Yep this, and I remember as a POC woman being described as “that” by a nasty bigot who I’d reported to the bus driver for his racist rant.

I don’t get these comments on Mumsnet that seem to be predicated on a belief that minorities don’t still face abuse , slurs and demeaning comments.

Awful 😣

I wonder where on earth you're working, too. I've been lucky not to be exposed to men talking like that. Where should we avoid working?

'It' is literally dehumanising. I can only assume that new starters at work learn to talk in the same way. I wouldn't be surprised if they are incels and Andrew Tate fans.

It's quite common these days just read a couple of the comments under any sexist meme.
I only have Facebook but I'm sure it's the same all across social media.
Or most articles about woman and don't even go there if it's an overweight one or someone like Katie price.

I do think it's odd that single guys and incels moan about not being able to get sex, meanwhile the men in relationships ignore their partners and prefer porn and a wank.

Defo better in other places- my workplace isn’t like this and it’s very male dominated. When I reported some misogyny it was dealt with properly as they have a « no retaliation » policy where someone has reported something.

Defo search for another job- why give your work to these people?!

Nope, I worked literally on the docks as the only woman in a logistics company (in my very early 20s) back in the 1990s and that wasn't tolerated at all. Call it out to managment, rep groups and anyone else - that is appalling.

My experience of any all male work place has been a lot more positive by some very female only toxic culture which can occur.

The 1970s by 5he sounds of it.

I work with mostly men, too, and this just wouldn't fly.

Disgusting and dehumanising. The kind of men who objectify women would have no qualms about raping one. I don't think I could sit there and ignore it, either. We all put up with too much of this shit. Record it, report it.

Bloody hell I worked in a male dominated factory once for years and yes there was a lot of banter etc only once did I hear this kind of shit.

there was one incident where one man did make references to raping someone and by god I went for him. in the canteen in front of everyone. The whole place went quiet, it was great

I worked in a notoriously male-dominated industry, and never heard of anything like this. This is not the norm at all

@tothebeachplease you could take the bastards to an employment tribunal and you'd win.

However, I get that's not an easy option and I'm not saying that's what you should do.

I do think you should look for another job. It won't be the same everywhere. Your current situation isn't the norm. It's hard to say without knowing what your job is how easy it will be to find something else but I really hope you do. I firmly believe it's bad for your mental wellbeing to have to put up with this kind of dehumanising language and not feel able to challenge it. Good luck!

Your colleagues sound like time travellers from the 70s!

Poor poor little men, they hate us so very very much on the one hand but desperately want/need us to service their lives and bodies on the other.

Leave. That is an awful environment to work in. No other work places are not the same.

All those saying she should leave, are you these men?
Are you seriously saying if you don't like it off you trot?

There is no way that whatever she says is going to make any difference to these men. I have worked with men like this. And unless you are the boss and can fire a couple and read the riot act then nothing will change. To protect her mental health I recommend moving company, yes.

No. Just being pragmatic. The men are in the wrong. The law is on OP's side. But in practice, without a union, a proper HR department, or a sympathetic manager, it's going to be really tough for OP to change their behaviour or get justice at a tribunal. Not to say she'd be wrong to take that route. Just being pragmatic that she might want to just get the hell out of that toxic environment.