Men at work referring to woman as "it"

[tothebeachplease]

I work in a predominantly male environment and the conversations are really quite vile about women but it's male to male conversation and I keep myself to myself at work.
I have learned to ignore it mostly because I need to concentrate on what I'm doing but AIBU to think it's really not ok that everytime they talk about a woman whoever it is they refer to them as "it"?
Not her, she, them just "it" and yes it is all of them.

It isn't "banter", like someone else suggested. It's purposely dehumanising a group of people - women.

Seriously?! I work in a male dominated industry and it would absolutely not be tolerated.

I worked 30 years in a very male dominated environment and never heard this. I’ve never heard a man refer to a woman as an it so it may not be the norm. It’s disgraceful and disgusting. If I were you I’d start looking for a new job. I wonder what these men are like with the women in their lives.

Fucking hell, where do you work?

I'd keep my head down and move job. Making any sort of complaint or report would get messy and they're not going to become nice people after a training session. They'll be vile to you. I promise other places won't be as bad as that.

I’d have to speak out. “It? Really? You’d like your daughter, wife, mother spoken about like that? “ On repeat with my withering though pitying look.

Same here! Lots of male banter, some of it very funny, but never anything like this.

I doubt that would give them pause for thought. That kind of man doesn't respect women full stop, whether they're related to him or not. OP says they are already talking about each other's wives in that way. They'll just laugh in her face and keep right on.

OP needs to escalate this to someone who cannot ignore it if possible, or sadly just leave for her own self preservation.

Presumably some of the women they discuss are Jewish, black or disabled (or from some other minority), so yes!

Definitely start looking for another job. I work in a male dominated industry and I've never had to put up with this. There have been men who have behaved a little like that but they were out on their ear pretty sharpish.
It's likely that somewhere else would be far better.

Unfortunately, sounds like they are referring to their own wives in that way. Just no point having a conversation with these vile specimens. If there was any possibility of support from a HR department might be worth having a word. However, as the manager and owner is joining in, you have no chance. Just get your CV out there and get another job. I promise most workplaces are definitely not like this.

@tothebeachplease keep your head down and find another job.

My dsis spoke up about racism, she was bullied until she was ill. And that was a scottish tax office.

I have never heard a man refer to a woman as 'it'. Apart from John Lydon on I'm a celebrity talking about Jordan because she didn't pull her weight around the camp. It was pretty entertaining. Heck me and my peer group cringe at man bants.

Intrigued to know the industry?

I don't know what men want really. They never seem to be happy.
From the outside it looks as though their anger stems from a lack of sex which they feel is unfair or unjust.
Then again they seem to run down any woman who does have sex with anyone.
It's as if they want all woman to be virgins with self respect who will have sex when asked otherwise they're frigid.

I'm going to guess construction.

I've worked in predominantly male environments and heard some pretty ribald stuff, mainly back in the 70s when I was a teenager. Never heard any men referring to women as it though, the younger me wouldn't have challenged it but now if heard this they would get told in no uncertain terms to reign it in!!

I wouldn’t give a shiny shit if I was unpopular with men like this. You either call them out every time, report them, or leave. Join a union.

I think it would look better and be taken better to confront it directly. 'I don't care about xyz but the whole calling women 'it' thing is really fucking painful to listen to. I know you might think you're joking but it makes me never want to go near a man ever again. Can you leave it out?'

I’ve seen them do it in the comments section on the Daily Mail, they have no shame about it.

Surely it's nothing to do with the industry just unfortunately OP works with sexist pricks.
I have worked with mostly men before and they never referred to anyone as it. Wide age range from men in their 20s to men in their 60s.
It's understandable you don't want to talk to management if they are all male and speak the same way so I guess you have to decide if you can ignore them or get another job. Personally I'd look for another job and when you have your exit interview do tell them why you're leaving.aa

In the organisation I work for there would be a stern warning and if they persisted it would be a disciplinary matter.

Disgusting behaviour.

I'd start by videoing these conversations as discretely as possible .

I’ve lived in a bubble where I’ve simply never heard anything like this. I’m absolutely not claiming it doesn’t happen. I’ve just been lucky/sheltered. But where is this kind of thing considered normal? What kind of workplace, I mean?

Where the hell do you work? 😂 I’m in tech with 90% of a workforce male. I’ve never heard anyone refer to anyone in that way.. and think it would be a one way ticket to disciplinary if they did.

I don’t think this is normal of me dominated workplaces… (And I’m in rural Norfolk!!)