Apologies in advance- long post…
been friends with a group of 4 others since school. I was kinda pushed to the outside as they went on holiday together which I couldn’t afford (they had the bank of mum and dad, I didn’t) and they went out every weekend when I was working. I joined whenever I could. I moved away from the area for a while and we did keep in touch. One friend in particular and I always made the effort to phone and text weekly and she kept me up to date with the others and vice versa. Then they started going out without inviting me. I asked why I wasn’t invited and no one had an answer. Then I was invited again for a short time. I always made an effort to go.
anyway, one time I was tagged in a post when they were all out, they said they were missing me. I hadn’t even been invited!!
Covid made it hard to meet up, but afterwards we all met up a couple of times and things were fine. Then they started meeting up without me, with this one friend saying she thought they felt I was competition. I asked in what way and she said they always wanted to know what car I drive, where I’m going on holiday etc. I said I couldnt understand why. She also made out she was barely in touch with them and talked about friendships moving on, but how glad she was that our friendship was still good.
She then invited me for a big night out with them all giving me 1 days notice. I work full time, have 3 young children and zero babysitters. I said to her I would have loved to go but it was too short notice. She agreed and said she probably wouldn’t be going. Turned out it had been planned for a while. I said if I was really wanted at the night I would have been invited when the plans were first made. She agreed and made out it was the others fault. She ended up going on the night out.
The pair of us went out for a lunch (I said invite the others but she said she wanted it to be just us) a while later and I raised the issue again. She said she nearly invited them to our lunch but thought it wasn’t fair on me so didnt. I said she should have as I have no issues with them and would have liked to have seen them. She said she didn’t know they had to be like that - they were just odd and stuck in the past from when they went on holiday together (like 20 years ago!) and like to keep it to the 4 of them. I was hurt but decided to accept their friendships were over.
i bumped into one of them randomly and she gave me a huge hug and chatted for ages, saying she’d love to catch up. I said that would be fab and she said she’d be in touch.
I messaged the friend I’d kept in touch with saying how it had been good to see the other friend and saying we should all meet up. She didn’t acknowledge that part of the text and went on to talk about other things.
next thing, at the weekend, when she knew I was free, they’re on social media having lunch at a restaurant walking distance from my house, saying they’re missing one of the 4 who couldn’t make it. No mention to me at all they were going out even tho I’d spoken to 2 of them within the past week. I’m now doubting the so called friend who I speak to on a weekly basis. Can I trust her or has she been trying to keep me apart? AIBU thinking I should have been invited?