Lego-gate AIBU

[GrudgeJudy]

A few weeks ago my MIL told me something that really pissed me off.

Rewind 20 years and I had my first baby. We were visiting PIL and my MIL got out a few boxes from the loft and proceeded to show me an amazing collection of Star Wars toys from the 70’s, those metal cars in boxes and a mountain of original LEGO. Then she brought out beautifully knitted cardigans and accessories. How nice. All my DH’s things from the past, lovingly kept.

Then, my MIL told me - just to be clear, these aren’t for your children, these are for my DD’s children. You can’t have them.

I wondered, why the hell would you show me them to me if that’s the case, and since she has form for being nasty, I replied - Don’t worry, my DC won’t go without.

So, fast forward 20 years and 3 boys later and my PIL recently moved to a bungalow. She said she has had to sell or give away all the toys because no one has used them. Her DD never had kids.

AIBU to think this was pretty shitty. If we had been given the items we would’ve loving used them and kept them in good condition to pass on to SIL when the time came. They were, also, my DH’s toys.

AIBU to be annoyed by this and to think that I don’t appreciate my MIL playing favourites with imaginary DGC?

They weren’t hers to sell? It’s your husband’s beef, but like most men he’ll probably just let it ride 🙄🙄

What a cow. She shouldn’t have been playing favourites with any grandchildren, imaginary or not!

Oh well, she hoarded Lego for 40 years or however long it was since your DH played with it. What a waste. She will have to dispose of her decades of collecting herself. Ha ha

She's a silly woman

My goodness what was going on in her head. My late MIL had a selection of her children's toys at hers for grandchildren to play with. A very few sentimental pieces she kept on display. Has she never seen Toy Story?

She’s had her comeuppance in that these imaginary favourite DGC never materialised.

if your husband isn’t going to lay claim to the stuff let her sell it, send it to charity etc.

YANBU

Your MIL is a b*tch.

sorry you were made to feel this way. Her loss regarding her GC.

Sounds like my mil I've learned to never discuss this kind of thing with hubby - playing into her hands. Causing a rift so he moans to her and it gives her control.

@Theothername old lego has been deemed safe for normal play. I think it's the red lego that had a particular dye in it.

You are a better person than me because I would have said oh yes, I remember you saying (quote her exact words), oh well, things never tend to work out as planned do they?

Yes very petty and I'd be saying 'hang on, they're your DS and DD toys to decide what to do with'.

But what's the reason your husband hasn't spoken up already?

What a mean person and tbh I would not have bothered with her if she so openly put my children below the others.

The likelihood of catching cancer from playing with one or two old plastic bricks seems incredibly minuscule.

The kids won’t be eating them.

Well that was her telling you that her daughter´s children are (would be) her real grandchildren and her son´s children are your mum´s grandchildren, for her to provide "stuff" for. This is a thing with some people.

Especially imaginary children above her real existing grandchildren, the mind boggles.

Ouch, second that.

It is very weird and nasty of her but as with most MIL threads on here, it is about the mother’s relationship with her son. Either she has always favoured her daughter, or she is sexist and doesn’t see fathers as equal to mothers when it comes to parenting, or she thinks he is careless and ungrateful about toys. I would be angry on his behalf.

It's quite a sad story really. The GM believed a son wouldn't keep in touch once married, so why bother. In fact, she has had ample opportunity to do so. Victim of her own beliefs.

I dearly hope my DS will keep in touch when he's grown.

YANBU. But at least she let her own children play with their toys, I guess.

One of my mother's cousins still has her kids' brio train set, playmobil, car tracks etc. in perfect condition in her loft. Still in original packaging, not a piece missing, minimal wear.

I remember chatting to one of her DC at a family event and she told me that she and her brothers were rarely allowed to play with their own toys in case they messed them up, and if a piece went missing they would have to stop what they were doing and search the house until it was found.

I think it would have been lovely to play with your dad's old toys.

My grandparents kept mum and aunty's toys in their attic. As we became old enough, the toys came out for us cousins to play with. We were similar enough in age that the toys suited us both. I have very fond memories of riding along on a giant dog on wheels, and pulling my cousin along when it was her turn to have a ride. Plus looking at the old photos of mum and her sister at the same age, with the same dog on wheels!
It's a shame your children didn't get that opportunity. As you say, the person who is going to really miss out is the children's grandmother. That's her choice though.

Let.it.go

She sounds an absolute horror. I’m pleased life didn’t work out for her.

That’s really sad. I loved watching my kids play with my old Lego sets, Weebles and Pippa dolls.

I'm sure she feels worse about her DD not having children than you feel about not having the lego so I guess that makes you the winner. Feel better now?

Its such a strange thing to do that it's not worth getting annoyed over. She's obviously nuts.

This. My mother in law casually told me, after I had my first child, and me and DH had been together 13 years, that I’d never be good enough for him. I really hope I’m not like that to my children’s partners.