To think this is dishonest?

[Raspberryshortcake]

I know several people (Friends and family) lately who have had gastric weight loss surgery.
None of these people have made it public.

However they are posting photos on social media saying they’ve talking about how much weight they’ve lost and people are commenting saying well done, how did you do it and you’re an inspiration etc etc.

Am I wrong in thinking people will see these and feel bad that perhaps they can’t achieve similar from diet and exercise? Because they don’t know the true story.

This thread shows exactly why I would never share anything relating to my weight.

Just because it is visible doesn't mean that observers are owed an explanation.

It's private, personal information.

And it is a medical issue.

@Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers @NattyTurtle

I never said that it had nothing to do with calories in. I said obesity is more than calories in versus calories out.

A gastric bypass is a more effective tool for weight loss than counting calories in versus calories out, because it induces physiological changes that make sustained weight loss achievable.

Of course it restricts calorie intake, by reducing the stomach size and limiting the amount of food that can be consumed.
But it also relies on physical limitations rather than solely on willpower and discipline to restrict calories.

Surgery reduces the absorption of calories by bypassing a portion of the small intestine. As you state it alters gut hormones like ghrelin which regulate hunger, satiety, and metabolism, making it easier to feel full on fewer calories. There is also the physical feelings of discomfort or vomiting if the person over eats, which does not happen with calorie counting.

restricting calories without considering the hormonal impact of foods will lead to a slowed metabolism as the body tries to compensate and burn fewer calories. Calories are not all metabolized the same way by the body. The hormonal response to different foods impacts how calories are used or stored as fat.

Surgery can set in motion metabolic changes that help reset and increase metabolism, making weight loss and maintenance easier compared to just restricting calories.

calorie counting is based solely on conscious restriction, where as gastric bypass surgery facilitates weight loss through mechanical, hormonal, and metabolic changes that make it a more effective and longer-lasting solution for severe obesity.

So… yes, it is more complex than calories in vs calories out.
Of course, if it was as simple as eating less, then there wouldn't be the obesity crisis that we are seeing today.

@StormingNorman yes can be easy but some get addicted to drink instead of food. Plus I don't like the way private ignore the eating disorder side. My therapist said don't go down the private side I m following someone who had it don't and regret it as can eat with family or enjoy time out. It was sold privately as a whole answer

I used Saxenda and only a very few of my closest family and friends know in RL. It's no one's business but my own.

I hate it if people comment on my weight, I would never comment on someone else's. Yes, I have lost a significant amount but I dont mention it to others, and if someone mentions it to me, I move the conversation on. For those who do wish to share these details, I wish them nothing but courage and good luck on their journey. I have changed the way that I am eating quite dramatically, with the help of an endocrinologist and a dietician, which is a wonderful support. I am very grateful for all of the support, care, guidance and tools that I have been given.

Equally, not everyone knows that I had a hysterectomy last year at a young age, nor do I tell the people who I shared it with, why I had to have it.

I don't have any less of a right to privacy on my health matters just because I am overweight. It is certainly not a lie by omission. It's just private. End of.

It's not lying. They're simply commenting that they've lost weight, which is true. Nobody's business but their own, unless they outright lie about the method.

Gastric surgery is not an easy-fix method of weight loss. It's major surgery, and is a tough route to follow. It usually only happens after a number of other methods have been tried. It still requires a large amount of effort and perseverance, and still relies on a choice to eat and drink healthily after the surgery. There's seems to be a common misconception that it's the easy route to weight loss, which it certainly is not. So anyone losing weight by this method deserves congratulations, as much as by any other method.

I have a very close friend who had a gastric band years ago. It hasn’t been easy for her though and she still suffers if she overeats, she can become quite poorly with it. My friend had tried all methods and this was very much a last chance thing. It’s worked though and she’s obviously very slim now. It’s not an easy choice though. She’s very honest if people ask. For all it was a rough route and it’s still something she suffers with, my friend is still pleased that she finally managed to lose the weight.

I’ve a lot of weight, 5.5 stone, and I’ve gone from a size 18/20 to a size 8. I’ve had a few people presume that I’ve had surgery but I haven’t. I’ve also had people think I’m seriously ill. I’ve done it myself. I still don’t post things on Facebook, I don’t make a big show of it much like my friend hasn’t. We both face peoples opinions and comments. It’s no one’s business how we both got there, we took different routes but got to the same place. What does it matter how we got there and what support was needed 🤷🏼‍♀️

Would you expect someone to post the cosmetic surgery they've had as a disclaimer next to any photos?

What about Botox?

Medical information is private.

Losing weight is hard and I'm not talking about a few pounds but losing lots. This just sounds like you think they've taken an easy route when there is no such thing when it comes to weight loss that takes you from obese to a healthy weight.

Honestly why is being fat seen as such a sin? I see regular posts about it. There are so many worse things someone could be.

I don't think anyone owes anyone else any personal information at all. If the people reading these social media posts are inspired to lose weight, they have all options open to them, including the use of pharmaceuticals/surgery/whatever else they themselves determine to be appropriate. It's no-one else's job to hand-hold them through that process or to bolster their feelings when choosing the best path for them.

Get a grip and don’t be so mean spirited.
They haven’t ’done it themselves’?
Are you aware that for people who have had gastric surgery it’s not a quick fix? Operation and that’s it, slim for life, no further effort required.
They’ve probably had to work to get down to a certain weight before being accepted for the procedure. People above a certain weight can’t get it.
They’ve had to recover from serious major surgery.
They will have had to sip liquids and then progress onto eating only tiny portions of approved foods, risking nausea and vomitting if they make even the slightest mistake.
They still have to work super hard to maintain the weight loss.
This is only some of what I know about this but it’s far from being an easy solution.
Do some research FFS. Urgh.

This

Hi @Raspberryshortcake - I actually think I mostly agree with you. I don't think they should be 'obliged' to share anything but I do think posing with it as achievement without mentioning the band is a bit misleading - espcially as they know people will assume they didn't use a gastric band. Women beat themselves up about not being able to lose weight anyway and can feel fat and lazy about it and this might reinforce other women's self-dislike and self-reproaching... I agree with those who say that they are under no obligation to share something personal like that, but I agree it is a little dishonest and could have a negative impact on others.

You know 'several' people who have had weight loss surgery? Really?

And if you know these people have had weight surgery, why do you think none of their other friends know? Just because they're not mentioning the surgery on social media, that doesn't mean their friends and family aren't aware of it. They've obviously told you. Why would you be the only one in whom your 'several' friends and family, who have all had this surgery, would confide?

it is dishonest but nobody owes anyone there medical info. as long as they’re not shilling weight loss supplements etc

realistically that person has had to go on a low calorie, exercise plan in addition to the weight loss so it’s not like they had it all lipo-d out. they’ve taken healthy steps - they just needed extra support with their willpower etc hence the surgery

I had a sleeve gastrectomy 10 years ago and lost 13st. I still can't eat a whole apple, but I can eat 4 digestive biscuits. I also regained 8 stone after the initial drop. I've since lost the weight again and yes, it was down to my effort (to not eat digestive biscuits). Live and let live OP, severe obesity is a physical and psychological horror show.

Am I wrong in thinking people will see these and feel bad that perhaps they can’t achieve similar from diet and exercise? Because they don’t know the true story.

Yes you are wrong because the chances are, they probably could do it through diet and exercise if they stuck to it.

how does this affect you? they probably dont say how they have lost weight because of narrow minded people like you judging them and making them feel crap about themselves.

you clearly know what measures they have taken, so they have trusted you enough to tell you in the hope you will support them? but you just want to out them and make them miserable again.

do you moan about all those women who have lip fillers, false eye lashes, fake tans?

find something else to occupy your mind

Me too - I was self conscious about mentioning Wegovy/MJ for the first year, so fluffed it by saying I the usual diet/exercise thing hadn’t been working so I was taking a radical approach and would tell them more about it if it worked/I stuck to it. I let them ponder whether that was a band/ milkshakes/ VLC/ fasting/ keto/ ozempic. I’d been on it for nearly a year before I shared with my sister, who then confessed she had just signed up for the same.

I didn’t really think the detail was anyone else’s business really but was keen not to be seen as some super dieter who was doing hours at the gym, when I wasn’t. I am now very open about the fact that I use meds - I’m 4.5st lighter and according to my GP have negated all the heart/stroke/diabetes risks that I was showing before, so don’t care if people get stroppy and call me a cheat (no-one has to my face though).

People should be open about how they lose the weight
Nothing wrong with using the various things around now but if you post on social media and lead people to believe it was pure strength of character you will make some people feel very bad about themselves which is just nasty and unnecessary

People should be 'open' about their bodies???

YANBU, losing weight with diet and exercise IS a bigger achievement than surgery or injections.

If they are going to post they should be truthful

They don't need to go online and show off their weight loss after all

I've done both, and I disagree.

I'm not sure people need to be praised and given credit for weight loss however it's achieved, or why going through an operation and eating less is less praise worthy to doing more excercise and eating less. Losing weight is a personal decision you make for your own benefit and great, success is its own reward with health benefits, being happier with your appearance etc. But you don't make the world a better place for anyone by being a thin woman rather than a fat one, so I honestly don't see what all the applause are for either way.

They're entitled to post photos of themselves on their own SM accounts.

They're entitled to reply to comments/compliments about their weight loss.

They're absolutely not obliged to declare any of their medical history to anyone, and that includes their weight loss surgery/medication.

They're no more obliged to do that just because someone's asked "how did you lose the weight?", than if they asked "how did you manage to get so fat?"

I don't know why anyone feels they have the right to know, but so many feel they do 🤷‍♂️

There's nothing wrong in showing off how good they feel they look, by posting photos on their own social media accounts.

That still doesn't give people the right to know how they did it, because it's no-one's business.

If someone posted their holiday snaps in the Seychelles, do you think people have the right to know how much money they spent on their holiday?