Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Teambuilding' at the weekend

110 replies

whatdidyousaaay · 04/06/2024 11:33

I work 9-5 Monday to Friday and that's all I'm contracted for. Our team has had a few issues (mostly due to a couple of people being very unpleasant and upsetting everyone!) and so the boss has decided to host a teambuilding activity. One of the unpleasant people won't be attending, having made a good excuse in advance, but the other will. The event is on a Sunday and, while it's free for staff, it's an outdoor activity (which I usually like, but this is not my cup of tea) and we will need to provide our own food. The boss doesn't need to pay for this (is just paying for transport as the activity is free) so won't lose money if I don't attend. Would you just suck it up and go or would you respectfully decline? It's very much expected that we will attend.

It's all day and is around 2 hours from where we live.

YABU - of course you should go
YANBU - no way!

OP posts:
Bearbookagainandagain · 04/06/2024 20:12

There is 0 chance I ever attend a team building on a weekend day...

OhshutupBarbara · 04/06/2024 20:21

We did one of these bullshit days (NHS) but luckily it was in works time. The problem however was our team leader was massively incompetent and no amount of team building was going to make them a better manager. Luckily they have just resigned after being off sick 80% of the last year. No way in Gods green earth would I go on my day off.

ButterCrackers · 04/06/2024 20:30

Just say that you have obligations on your days off and can’t attend outside of your working time unfortunately.

StrongasSixpence · 05/06/2024 13:59

Nope. Maybe if given TOIL or overtime but never if unpaid!

Fluffyhoglets · 05/06/2024 14:01

Unless it was all all expenses paid team building day to to a spa - I'd not be attending anything on a weekend!

mindutopia · 05/06/2024 14:17

No, definitely not. We had drama like this once and our manager's solution was a team building activity (though it was bowling and dinner at a restaurant, which was okay ish actually). The two people who were the source of the drama declined to attend. The rest of us did go and have a lovely drama free time without them (and got a good gossip in!). But it was on a working day, not a weekend and just down the street from our office. No way I'd give up my weekend for it.

omill001 · 06/06/2024 19:13

Personally I think this in unfair and if you have children it's potentially another day of paid daycare... I don't know what country you're in but if you're in UK and have worked over 2 years, you can't get sacked for not turning up to a non work day... and your manager, needs to go back to management classes... if anyone turns up, they'll do so reluctantly... on their day off ffs!

PorridgeEater · 06/06/2024 19:36

What are other staff doing? What if they have children / caring responsibilities?
Did your boss / team leader ask people if they wanted this? If it's in your own time it has to be voluntary - maybe your boss is lonely and wanted some company. Guess you're not in a Union or they'd have something to say about this.

rainbowbee · 06/06/2024 19:37

I'd struggle to be polite with how hard a no that would be. Sunday afternoon? Are you taking the piss?!

Whereinharrogate · 06/06/2024 19:40

Such a shame there's that 24 hr bug going around!

LadyMarguerite · 06/06/2024 19:45

This sounds awful.I used to hate this team building rubbish and once said I reserved the right to be an individual and not hand over all my work for someone else,usually the exercise initiator, to copy and claim for their own.
Retired now thank heaven.

CremeFresh · 06/06/2024 19:48

I hate team building days and the ones that I haven't been able to wriggle out of have made no difference to the team anyway. I can't for one moment think that a team building day is going to help 2 horrible people become less horrible .

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 06/06/2024 19:53

I work in HR.

Wouldn't even consider this. Hard no from me.

darksigns · 06/06/2024 20:07

Ha ha ha ha…

SirAlfredSpatchcock · 06/06/2024 20:12

So this is considered necessary because of the actions of two people, but one of those two people is not doing it?

This sounds to me rather like a small snapshot of what Rishi's nutty National Service plan would have been: all the young adults already out at work, volunteering or doing sports/club/community/other positive and worthwhile activities will be taken away and forced to divert their time, to make sure they don't suddenly turn into hooligans; whilst the hooligans for whom the decent youngsters are getting the sweeping stereotypical blame, and for whose circumstances the NS activities are specifically designed, will just find whatever ways they can not to bother.

At any rate, even if both of the troublemakers were attending, do they really need the rest of you to give up your Sunday and be there as well, just so they can learn not to make trouble for you with you all in situ? Could they not just get dummies or dolls with each wearing a badge with one of your names on, and practise not saying and doing nasty things to them instead?

Algiz20 · 06/06/2024 20:30

Did we timeslip back to the mid 1990s? I dislike the amount of time I have to spend with most of my colleagues through the week, the thought of yet another nonsensical team building thing of any kind makes me shudder. But at the weekend at that?? Dream on. It never helps resolve the personality clash issues anyway, though I must confess to being tempted by a bit of axe throwing, say, with some of my current colleagues...

Thing is, many people now have childcare or caring or other responsibilities at the weekends, only a 20 something over ambitious Muppet manager or an andropausal 50 something would think this was a good idea.

TeenLifeMum · 06/06/2024 22:41

We have identified bullying in our team (anonymous nhs survey) and one suggestion (ironically from the main bully - I think she’s totally under her behaviour is not normal or okay) was an escape room on a Saturday… I mean who wouldn’t want to be locked in a room with their bully on their day off work?! 🙄

cherish123 · 06/06/2024 22:55

I wouldn't. You're only making a rod for your own back. If you feel uncomfortable, have a ready prepared excuse.

bilgewater · 06/06/2024 23:00

Nope.

LadyChilli · 06/06/2024 23:02

If it's outside of work time it has to be good enough that you actively want to attend. Otherwise you absolutely don't need to go.

rainbowsparkle28 · 06/06/2024 23:11

Absolutely not. On a Sunday? Not during your usual working hours?! Jokers 😅

Invisimamma · 07/06/2024 00:01

I might consider it if I was being paid overtime. Otherwise it's a hard no from me.

RawBloomers · 07/06/2024 01:22

I’d go if it sounded like something I’d enjoy, I didn’t have other commitments and I would get a day of in lieu. But otherwise, no. And I wouldn’t waste a second on feeling guilty or worried about it. It’s bloody cheeky of your work to try and solve team building problems on your time instead of their own.

worryworrysuperscurry · 07/06/2024 01:41

Sunday team building two hours away? Not a chance in hell! Mind you, I avoided them like the plague wherever possible after attending one years ago that descended into an actual punch up!

Workaholic99 · 07/06/2024 06:27

If its on the weekend I would expect a day in lieu otherwise I would decline.