AIBU about husbands immature response

[TipsyB]

I went through the beach toys we have and binned an old heavy blow-up flamingo that hasn’t been used in years. It’s massive and and hasn't been blown-up in a while so I decided to get rid of it just to make room (I threw it in the recyling). DH found it, took it out of the bin and was complaining about throwing it away saying there wasn’t anything wrong with it.

I explained to him why I want to get rid of it and then even suggested giving it to someone else, even though it's old and probably damaged. I actually agreed with his point about not throwing it away! but he got a bit snappy and didn't want to give it away He pumped it up and was acting smug about it still holding air. He also encouraged the kids to use it which they’ve next to no interest in doing. I went to pack it away again and he said don't like he will use it himself, even though he wont and just wants to keep it up as if to prove something

It's such a stupid thing to get mad about, but I can't stand the idea of keeping the thing anymore because the way he's acted pissed me off. It still won't get used by anyone and now DH's joking about me acting sour about the whole thing, but it all feels very disrespectful and childish. I promise I'm not humorless this just got on my nerves and I need to know if I'm going crazy or not.

Do you have room for it? If so, just keep it. It really isn't anything to get aggravated about.

It’s not often I’d say this but I’d go immature back personally. When he keeps finding it lying on his side of the bed, in the driver’s seat of his car, sitting in his favourite chair he’ll get fed up and you can joke about him being sour :)

Off topic but I really don’t think the council round here would be happy with inflatables going in the recycling!

He sounds like a jerk. Hopefully he's not always like this. I'd have probably taken it to the dump for them to sell. Wouldn't be acceptable in recycling around here.

Stick a pin in it.

Thing is, why does it get to be your decision? That would do my head in if my DH was just binning things without asking did I want it.

Get yourself a big metal chicken in return

https://thebloggess.com/2011/06/21/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

Exactly. How is it immature for him to want to keep stuff he wants

OP, I hear you. My DP just can't throw anything away, we have a house full of stuff he's accumulated from work, from his childhood and from our children. None of it will be used again, he has old 'uniform' from jobs he's done years ago. I can't abide clutter and crap. I wait till he goes to work and take a load to the tip. Like you, if I put it in the rubbish or ask about giving something away/throwing it away he suddenly has an interest in it and said item is put back on display/played with/used until he loses interest again.
My advise would be you are never going to win, he will always 'need' his pink inflatable flamingo until the day he can't find it as you took it to the tip several years ago.

As a pp said, stick pins in it. Then take it to the dump, not put it in the recycling bin (he'll see it there).

Word for word what I was going to type!

Pop it then say see, it's broken and shit, then throw it away.

I expect OP would have been pleased if her OH went through and sorted the beach toys off his own back. Doubt it would occur to most people to check with their partner whether or not to keep every old and unused toy. However, I think OP's issue is with his rude, childish and unnecessary cock-crowing one-upmanship behaviour towards her, involving their children, over something trivial

Or call his bluff and arrange a family trip to the beach/local lido and make him carry and use the stupid thing.

This. Just get rid of the bloody thing or next holiday fling it in your husbands case and let him deal with it.

As an aside I don't think you can recycle them ?

He does sound tedious, but you sound a bit dour (possibly from living with a tedious person, if he is always like that).

Not the point but, these things are recyclable? I didn’t know that! We can only recycle hard plastic in our bin - even soft bread bags have to go to a special collection in the local shop.

Ooooooh - tell him to let the Flaming-thing-go! A lot. Until it becomes very very old.

Rude, childish and unnecessary cock-crowing one-upmanship behaviour..... you mean taking it out of the bin because he wanted it, blowing it up and asking the kids if they wanted to get on it.

Some people are very highly strung.

What a weird relationship. He threatened to strangle her and punches walls in his office and it’s a joke?

He's enjoying winding you up. Deprive him of that pleasure by ignoring the flamingo and his behaviour. He'll soon get bored and you'll have avoided multiple tense exchanges over it.

When I was growing up my father used to just get rid of things that were important to - not just toys and books but family stuff. We'd go out in the garden and things we valued would literally be going up in smoke on a bonfire. It felt as though our feelings didn't matter. And they didn't to him - children weren't supposed to have feelings
So when I had a family of my own I never got rid of stiff without consulting the whole family. Obviously not every day rubbish. But family stuff and toys and books. So every one got a say in if they wanted to keep something that was important to them.

Maybe it's sentimental for him? I agree I'd be a bit annoyed if my OH started throwing out our old stuff without asking me. And FGS don't stick a pin in it, that's far more immature than his response.

I’m afraid I think you should mark it down to experience. Sometimes one can throw stuff out without consulting with others in the household and sometimes it’s not possible.

The main issue now is getting something out of a bin and then using it - uggh

Read the OP

@Mothership4two I have thanks

Imagine if a man did that to a womans item she wanted to keep..