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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to put all his pensions in trust for kids.

162 replies

messiejessie · 03/06/2024 23:43

My husband wants to put all his sizeable corporate pensions in trust for our 3 kids, should he die which is free of IHT.
I have a very small pension but do benefit from rental property I brought into the marriage. His point is that I wouldn't need his pension,
we are both 50 and in good health and i hope we would have a lot more living to do do and enjoy our life. Our kids are still at school or uni. The marriage is rocky,

It seems to me that he is trying to prevent me from benefiting from our joint assets if he were to die. If I died unexpectedly and left everything to him, including a substantial property and a rental there would be nothing to protect my share (for our kids) from a second marriage for example.
Would it not be fairer to put aside 5o percent of the pensions for the kids and 50 to me? In any case I wouldn't want our kids to inherit too early as they have not established their own careers yet or met life partners . I think giving kids money too early is a bad idea. (This is theoretical of course as no one is planning on dying just yet) I am very thankful we are in a good position all round financially, but nevertheless I would like some advice as I feel uneasy about being bulldozed into this.
AIBU ? Is this good financial planning for IHT? Can it be reversed?
AINBU? Should I be wary and seek financial advice from a lawyer or accountant given I have not much pension of my own ?

OP posts:
Sunnyside4 · 04/06/2024 08:44

If he does end up doing that, then I'd change your Will and leave property in trust for children - you can argue he'll have three pensions to live on.

If you should divorce, you should be able to claim on the pensions, so why not now. We have a friend who got divorced - ex wife earns less than him, but certainly enough to live on and support herself (in face she picked herself up far quicker than him after divorce with a new home in her name and a new man!). She stuck it out, got 50% of the property and 60% of his pensions!

BirthdayRainbow · 04/06/2024 08:44

Get a good solicitor.
File for divorce.
He will have to declare everything on the Form E and if he lies he's in a lot of trouble.

I filed for divorce as advised by my solicitor as that means I control things more.
I have no pension due to being a SAHM and I've been awarded more than 75% of one of his plus a lump sum to make things equatable. I also got more then 50% of the house.

Your H is no longer to be trusted. Protect yourself. No harm done if it turns out it is all a misunderstanding but in the more likely event he is trying to shaft you, you have got a head start and protected yourself.

SapphireSlippers · 04/06/2024 08:46

cannonballz · 03/06/2024 23:45

What would you do with his pension anyway? Surely pass it on to your kids?

It makes sense for him to leave it all to them

So what does op live on if he goes first?

Possible that she took a step back to enable his high flying career?

godmum56 · 04/06/2024 08:47

WinchSparkle80 · 04/06/2024 06:53

He doesn’t need permission though or the OP to sign off on it does he? (not 100%) but in my pensions I can change the beneficiary whenever I want. No one is notified except my employer and pension company.

well I thought this, also it depends I think on whether its a pension pot or the pension is actually be paid as a pension. if he is supposed to be quietly getting his ducks in a row, he is doing a lousy job.....I don't doubt that that is what he is doing but in his place I'd have just done it and kept quiet!

MidnightPatrol · 04/06/2024 08:48

Fizzadora · 04/06/2024 00:01

His pension provider would want some valid explanation why you should not be a beneficiary. You can also be a potential beneficiary of a Discretionary Trust free of IHT provided he survives for 7 years.
I assume from what you have said that your rental property is still in your sole name. So tell him you are leaving it to the children and not to him, after all, he won't need it will he with his big corporate pension?

Would they?

I can just change mine online whenever I like.

Max28W · 04/06/2024 08:49

Is he talking about taking put the pension early then putting it into.a trust @messiejessie or just naming them as beneficiaries ?

You can't leave pensions in wills ...and yes the pension body ultimately decides. He can make a nomination

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/pension-expression-of-wishes/

So my concern is he might actually be talking about cashing pensions in early.

Are you happy in your marriage @messiejessie ?

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 04/06/2024 08:50

PropertyManager · 04/06/2024 08:24

Depends on the pension arrangements, normally there is no IHT on pensions, but some plans that pay off a guaranteed death benefit are added to the estate value, unless that benefit goes into a trust, in which case it doesn't.

As we are presumable talking big ticket, complex corporate pensions then could well attract IHT.

Show quote history

Nah - big ticket complex corporate pensions do not attract IHT - they they know precisely how to avoid IHT.

Pensions are a fantastic way to avoid IHT and from time to time there are political rumblings about changing this as using pension pots to (quite lawfully) avoid IHT is not what pensions pots were originally intended for and tends generally to benefit the wealthier

WhenTheMoonShines · 04/06/2024 08:51

I don’t see the issue in leaving everything to the kids. If you’re both 50 and the marriage is bad it’s the best thing to do for all involved. Means you don’t have a lengthy legal battle over who gets what money, only for that money to be eaten up in legal fees and neither of you have a dickie bird to pass down to the kids.

ItsNotInMyMind · 04/06/2024 08:52

Having just taken our pensions in our late 50s, I know what a minefield they can be generally. If I had to rely on mine, I would be impoverished honestly.

However - I think in its most simplest form, the scenario here is that your toad of a husband is trying to squirrel away his assets, knowing that in a divorce you would likely be awarded 50% of your shared pension pots.

Please follow advice already given OP and take legal advice. Like, today. There’s no time to lose because he’s ahead of you, unfortunately.

Longdueachange · 04/06/2024 08:56

messiejessie · 04/06/2024 00:32

Definitely worried about a divorce as partly down that route fairly recently. So both scarred from it . Due to his infidelity

Holy crap op, see a divorce solicitor pdq. I think you need to be on the defensive here.

MILTOBE · 04/06/2024 08:56

WhenTheMoonShines · 04/06/2024 08:51

I don’t see the issue in leaving everything to the kids. If you’re both 50 and the marriage is bad it’s the best thing to do for all involved. Means you don’t have a lengthy legal battle over who gets what money, only for that money to be eaten up in legal fees and neither of you have a dickie bird to pass down to the kids.

But the OP is 50 and about to lose her assets if her husband is going to leave all his pension to their children. The pension is for the spouse, not the children. He's depriving her of assets. That's why she needs to divorce him.

ClairDeLaLune · 04/06/2024 08:58

Pensions are free from IHT anyway, so what he’s doing makes no sense.

Also by doing this he isn’t protecting the pension in case of a divorce, it would be taken into account anyway. He can’t give a pension away to anyone else, except in the case of a divorce. I suggest you get one sooner rather than later OP, who knows what else he might try to hide away.

Hope he’s not paying his adviser much, he’s been very badly advised.

Nicebloomers · 04/06/2024 08:58

saraclara · 04/06/2024 00:21

It does sound as though he's expecting your marriage to end soon. I'd be getting some legal advice, and quickly. If he's going to protect his pension from you, yet expect a share of your pension and your rental house, you're going to be stuffed.

He’s looking to divorce you. Act quickly before he strips you of marital assets.

maccaroni · 04/06/2024 09:00

Apologies I’ve not read through the thread but what stood out immediately to me was “the marriage is rocky”.
If you were to divorce you are entitled to a share of his pension. Could he be doing this to prevent that happening?

Tbry24 · 04/06/2024 09:03

Seek legal help. It sounds as though he is getting everything planned in advance before he divorces you. You are probably entitled to a share of his pension as my mother and mil both were when they divorced.

ItsNotInMyMind · 04/06/2024 09:05

WhenTheMoonShines · 04/06/2024 08:51

I don’t see the issue in leaving everything to the kids. If you’re both 50 and the marriage is bad it’s the best thing to do for all involved. Means you don’t have a lengthy legal battle over who gets what money, only for that money to be eaten up in legal fees and neither of you have a dickie bird to pass down to the kids.

I strongly suspect once the divorce is over he would reverse the trust. Also I think as there is no logic to what he is saying re IHT I think he is using the angle of the kids to emotionally blackmail the OP. How could a mother deny her children… bollocks to his narrative, if that’s where he takes it.

I know myself, you don’t know what’s round the corner. I never expected to have to give up work due to ill health. OP said her pension is much smaller than his and she’s already 50.

Leaving your assets to the kids in the future, of course. And if I were OP during the divorce process I would absolutely make a will to protect my assets going to them. But she needs that money for her own future at this point. The kids have a lifetime of working ahead of them and eventually they’ll inherit when it’s time.

SeriaMau · 04/06/2024 09:08

Grab everything you can and then divorce him.

madameparis · 04/06/2024 09:22

See a lawyer immediately. Like today! He is likely planning to divorce you and wants to make sure that you don’t get any of “his” pension. My guess is that you only have a small pension due to working less and staying at home to raise your shared children. If so, the pension is both of yours. He is trying to screw you over. Likely after the divorce he will take it out of trust and back to himself for retirement. Leaving you with nothing. Act fast.

Shouldbedoing · 04/06/2024 09:24

You could have completed a divorce petition online before lunchtime.
Irretrievable breakdown.
Don't waste time citing infidelity.

PesterP0wer · 04/06/2024 09:25

A person can nominate their private pensions to whoever they wish

This includes to single or multiple people, family, friends, relatives, charities

No pension provider will ever query this, because they do not know a person's circumstances

The person with the pension, can also change the nominees as many times as they wish

It is his pension to use for himself or nominate to the people of his wishes

WinchSparkle80 · 04/06/2024 09:28

I don’t think putting a pension in trust means OP won’t be granted a % upon divorce. Until death (whilst married) it would be a marital asset, what is left after divorce could be put in trust for the children.

Otherwise everyone would do it surely

HesterRoon · 04/06/2024 09:33

Tbh, I’d be quite happy for dh to put pensions in trust for the children. At least he shows he’s not going to spend it on himself but thinking of helping out your children.

AnnaMagnani · 04/06/2024 09:37

I think this would be marriage ending for me.

He's been unfaithful, you've already been near divorce.
Sounds like he's 'getting his ducks in a row' and you are on the back foot.

godmum56 · 04/06/2024 09:39

HesterRoon · 04/06/2024 09:33

Tbh, I’d be quite happy for dh to put pensions in trust for the children. At least he shows he’s not going to spend it on himself but thinking of helping out your children.

but then he divorces and ends the trust?

Nicebloomers · 04/06/2024 09:44

HesterRoon · 04/06/2024 09:33

Tbh, I’d be quite happy for dh to put pensions in trust for the children. At least he shows he’s not going to spend it on himself but thinking of helping out your children.

He’s trying to ring fence it from a divorce which many of us strongly suspect he is building up to. After the divorce he will reinstate it back to himself. He’s trying to screw his wife over. Which is ironic considering he’s already been caught screwing other women.

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