Dealing with a Toxic VERY Difficult person at Work

[didficultemployee]

Hey everyone, NC just to be sure this is confidential

I'm in a bit of a tricky situation at work and could really use some advice. I'm supposed to be working in partnership with a senior colleague. Technically, I manage this person, but we are both very senior in the company. Here's the problem: this colleague cannot take being told what to do. Everything has to be sugarcoated and glossed over. Additionally, their productivity is slow.

Anytime I try to address these issues, it turns into a huge conflict, no matter how diplomatically I approach it. I believe it's a cultural fit issue, but changing things now is not an option without first trying to resolve.

Does anyone have any tactics or strategies for managing someone like this? How do you handle a senior colleague who resists feedback, especially when it comes to their productivity and performance targets?

Weekly meetings is completely reasonable, monthly is far too few and far between. From my own experience, he won’t improve. You need to get a handle on this. Does he actually know/accept that you’re his superior?

Really clear, ‘SMART’ targets, chunked down, then if these aren’t achieved, one more chance to do so before it goes higher. The person I was managing was let go based on competence (lack thereof) but management above me was very helpful, although it took a new manager to ensure it happened.

It's time to pull the big girl pants on!

Here you go.....

"I'm going to use this meeting to be clear about my role and my expectations of you.
I am your line manager and whilst I appreciate your experience and skills I am responsible and accountable for ensuring you deliver (x). What we will do is agree your objectives and timescales for delivery and review these on a monthly basis. It is important that if there is a possibility the deliverables/timescale's aren't going to be met we can agree on what needs to be done"

Then set very clear objectives and when you review them use a model such as:
Observation - what you have seen/heard/read
Impact on objective
Solution - what you need them to start/stop/continue

If they start objecting, blustering and generally being a pain, stick to the message. They will either change their behaviour or you change them out.

Good luck!

Yep, I have always diary stalked my managers. It allows me to know what is coming up and if they'll be asking for things eg for committee meetings etc. I check their diary at the beginning of the day to make sure I'm ready for requests. My staff also have access to my diary so they can do the same.

In terms of managing your person, fortnightly check-ins are a good plan. Touch base, build rapport, share information and get status updates. That's basic people management.

I know multiple people who've gone significantly further: when a manager is recruiting internally for a job and has a calendar entry with the details hidden that's the right length for an interview, they've calendar-stalked dozens of people to find the one with the corresponding hidden-details appointment.

I couldn't possibly comment as to whether I was one of those people.

OP I think you need to start by reflecting back on yourself and your skills as a manager, particularly communication style.

You’ve identified part of the issue with your different styles but you won’t fix it by carrying on being hyper focussed on them and how they aren’t meeting your expectations.

Can you go and get some management training and feedback, particularly around your communication and management style and how to get the most out of different people and styles of working?

I don’t think there is anything wrong with them commenting on what you are doing, I would see that as them taking an interest and trying to connect with you. This is an insight into your one dimensional, thinking and assumptions. You are being unreasonable if you are even reacting so negatively to something quite normal.

Agree with PP you are coming across with lack of maturity for the role but if you are willing to work on yourself I think this will be the easiest way to improve the situation at work (edited typo and missed word).

What is their opinion of their role in relation to yours?

Do you not have a manager that you can raise concerns with? That would be the first course of action for me, and if they didn’t help I’d be letting them know I was looking for another job.

Consult your own LM and ask them to mentor and coach you through this.

You facilitate them working out what they need to do and the best way to achieve it, giving ownership to the task objectives and targets.

Perfect

I think you’re pussy footing around this person because you’re conflating seniority with competence. They got to their position somehow but if they’re not meeting your service needs they are no longer performing. They are using a,very effective by the sound of it, strategy of disruption and non engagement with you.
Stop it. Performance manage them formally. Ignore the chaos. Let them know this is a formal process. Give them the performance policy. Outline your plan for improvement with timelines and review along with support. Then take it week by week. Keep them close and meet formally every two weeks with documented review of key performance targets.

Right. You are both senior and you’re now more senior than him and he has a supportive role. Is that correct? Is this a new set up?