At what sort of age did you let you child be out of sight at playgrounds?

[idunohelp]

My oldest is 4 and I noticed some other mums completely comfortable to let their year olds wonder a large playground ( open ) alone.

I can't do this as I get extremely stressed if I can't see my child. I always have to see her / be near. I don't hover over her but I need to be able to see her at all times.

Am I being OTT ?

At what age did you feel comfortable to allow your child to roam off alone in an un gated, busy playground ?

I have a 5 year old and I still watch her like a hawk. As well still being little, she also has Autism and is prone to dashing off impulsively.

My older children knew to stay within the fenced area of the park at that age and would never just run off. I did make sure they were still supervised at that age though, just not quite as closely as my youngest! I could sit down for 5 minutes confident that they were playing safely and not darting off somewhere.

My older children are now old enough to play on other areas of the park where I can’t always see them. They started doing this at around age 8. It does all depend on the child. I could have got away with them going off to play alone at 7 maybe as they are really sensible, but I still felt slightly uncomfortable. They are 9 and 11 now. My eldest is 13 and that same applied to him when he used to play on play area at parks. He still comes along with us, but goes off to play football on the astroturf/fields.

I wonder if people are defining "in sight" differently or perhaps have different styles of playground

There are a few big playgrounds that we go to with big enclosed towers or pirate ship type structures.

When I say my 4 year old is out of sight what I mean is that I know which structure he is in the playground but I wouldn't actually climb up a tower so I could literally see him at all times. If I didn't catch a glimpse of him for 5 mins or so, I would check in.

It's not sad. That's such an exaggeration.

My kids still have fun, I just don't take them to playgrounds by myself.

I take them with their dad or individually.

I don't think my 4 year old is ready to be left out of sight at a playground. I don't think it's THAT unusual, as this thread proves really.

I let DD1 roam when she was 5 and I had a 1yo to hover near, but almost all the playgrounds I can think of have been gated. Quite a few of them are big with separate sections and large structures though, so she could be completely out of my line of sight. I think I'd probably let her in an ungated playground now at age 6, but generally I'd prefer to always take them to a gated playground unless DH is with me and can keep an eye on one dc.

I agree with this.

When I questioned how big these playgrounds were earlier and someone replied they couldn't see their child on the other side of the pirate ship, that wouldn't be a worry, as you could still see that they hadn't left the area, although technically not in your line of vision if behind one of the play things. You could still hear a scream, and you still knew they were there, as you'd have seen them if they'd decided to peg it off to the woods / stream / shops / road.

I’ve always taken them, because I’m on my own most of the time and if I didn’t they’d maybe go twice a month. I find bright clothing helps! I even put a fluorescent tabard on my eldest once on a trip to the zoo. My youngest was just turned 2 and we was on my own.

All out local ones are gated so it's not really come up, but by three I'd let them wander in a big gated playground, just checking with a glance that I could see them every minute or so. I don't think it would be massively different in an ungated playground unless it was on the edge of the road or something. I'd definitely be able to play with a younger one whilst keeping an eye on a second one at that age.

But they're sensible and were never the running off/risk taking type. Depends a lot on the child and the area I would think.

All our local playgrounds are gated so I've never really thought about it. My youngest is 4 so I've only just started letting her out of my eyeline recently. I like to be aware of where she is but don't need to see her at all times. My oldest is nearly 7 and I let her roam freely as long as she doesn't leave the playground.

They are both pretty good at following rules and like to know where I am. Definitely different if you have a kid who runs off or hides. I'd never judge someone for watching more closely, I'd just assume it was necessary for some reason.

I wouldn't have a 4yo out of sight, but that also doesn't mean I am watching them every second. When in smaller gated playgrounds I'd let them wander about but absolutely no way would I have let them wander off in our bigger parks, all have ponds/streams, dogs, cyclists and openings onto to big roads.

The first time I didn’t stay close by my son in a playground (he was 6) because I was sitting reading a book on a bench in the middle of the playground, he went up something too high without me seeing, fell off and landed on his head, it was horrific (he temporarily lost consciousness and was blue-lighted to hospital - thankfully no lasting damage). Reading these responses is actually making feel better, as at the time I felt incredibly guilty for not watching him more closely. So I’d really say it depends on what’s in the playground and if there’s anything a small child could fall off. It literally takes seconds. Said child is 10 now and to be honest I still keep an eye (subtly so as not to embarrass him) in case he starts doing anything risky.

In an un gated one where I couldn't see them definitely older than 4, probably at least 6

You know best, they’re your children. 7/8 for one of mine as she has no stranger danger and is accident prone (and, eventually, diagnosed. Different for the other one.

always go with your gut, independence needs to be built in a series of slow steps and do what works for your individual child @idunohelp . Make a plan with small steps to boost their independence when you feel they’re ready.

I am sorry that happened, it must have been incredibly stressful

I think the thing to remember though is that even if you had been right there, it still could have happened. Children do go quite high up especially once over 5. My kids go up in those huge spider web type climbing frames and it's totally unrealistic to expect parents to climb those - standing at the bottom Vs reading a book a few feet away isn't going to make much difference

It is true, I’m was a hoverer as my dc was always bumping something and I’ve failed to prevent accidents when I’ve been standing right next to her watching as they happen so quickly sometimes (and sometimes you can catch a build up of hyper or playing in an unsafe way for some reason).

I've got a 4yo and a 2yo and this is why we don't go to large playgrounds. Our local playground has a pirate ship, 3 storey climbing Fort etc and there can easily be over 40 children in there at the weekend. 4yo is still a preschooler, I'd trust him not to run off but he isn't socially mature enough, if someone led him away or another child hit him, he'd just freeze, so for me it's not worth the risk. In an enclosed environment with controlled exits (softplay, trampoline parks etc) I'm comfortable not having eyes on him for 5 mins, maybe longer as I know he can't leave the premises.

I have huge anxiety over him going off with someone as he is very trusting, but also worried he would get picked on by other kids.
I am just about ok with him walking part of the way home from school alone at 13.

4/5 in an enclosed playground was fine for us. Depends on the kid though

Depends on the playground I suppose but my daughter is now 4 and I'll quite happily plonk myself on a bench and let her go off. If I haven't seen her for a few minutes I'll go and check to see if she's inside the climbing frame.