At what sort of age did you let you child be out of sight at playgrounds?

[idunohelp]

My oldest is 4 and I noticed some other mums completely comfortable to let their year olds wonder a large playground ( open ) alone.

I can't do this as I get extremely stressed if I can't see my child. I always have to see her / be near. I don't hover over her but I need to be able to see her at all times.

Am I being OTT ?

At what age did you feel comfortable to allow your child to roam off alone in an un gated, busy playground ?

In a gated playground? I let them wander with me checking on them from around 3, definitely by 4, that's school age.

Sorry, I misread, just seen you said ungated. Maybe a little older then, but definitely by 4.

I meant an ungated playground.

In a small gated one I might be slightly more relaxed but not ok to lose sight of her somehow. In case she escapes or something.

If it's big and lots of children ? Would you not worry if you couldn't see your child ?

I also let my DD wander. I just make sure I can always see where she is.

Not at 4, that's for sure!

There were two issues for me. The first was my anxiety and the second was the fact that DS wasn't sensible, would go off with anyone he took a shine to, would run away had hide, or would try to throw himself head first from the top of the equipment. He was still doing this pretty late, 5 or so.

I honestly can't remember, but if you want to keep an eye on her, what's the problem? I think it's quite a personal thing - just do what works for you.

School age (5) in a playground as you have described

Then I let them go out to play from age 7

4yo is way past wandering off age, but I'd still want to see him every few minutes. You need them to understand about checking in, as well as not going off with anyone. It's a decent age to start working on it together.

DD is almost 5 and always in view but she needs me to be. She’s a proper nervous nellie on play equipment and scared of heights so invariably needs lifting up/off etc.

She also likes to involve me in her play. I’ll know when she is ready to have less supervision.

Amongst my peer group though that’s the norm anyway, none of her friends wander off.

From around 4, but I do check on him regularly. If I haven't seen him for 5 mins or so, I will go and look for him.

I think there's a big difference between 4 year olds in reception and those who are still preschool.

I really am quite confident my reception 4 year old wouldn't try and run off from a playground, I check in on him more to make sure he isn't stuck or upset or anything.

There are no rules, it depends on lots of variables. E.g. the child, layout, how busy it is etc.

Just do what works for you.

But yes lots of 4yos would be capable of being out of eyesight for a few minutes in a playground.

My older one is 6 and I’m only just ok with him being out of my sight - and I still want to be able to see him every couple of minutes. DH would not be happy without being able to see him still. But my 3 year old is likely to wander off so my hand is somewhat forced by having to keep both eyes on him. Went out recently with a big group, kids 2-7, and noticed that other parents are happy for 3/4 year olds to be off out of sight, definitely different to me.

Just how big is this playground, that they could be far enough away to be out of sight ?

Not at 4, in an ungated playground. And checking in every 5 minutes, nope 5 minutes is a long time if they've vanished.

Not hanging around with them, but sat at a specific place and not on phone, watching all the time.

Specific boundaries as well for them so they know where to go/not go.

By 7 able to relax a bit, but again establish a 'base camp' and stop there and again set boundaries/check in periods

Oh, and mine was also keen on my participation at 4!

6/7 probably.

My local playground is quite big, there’s a pirate ship and other equipment that can obscure a parents view.

I still watch my 7 year old like a hawk and he's not allowed out of my sight/where I cannot actually see him.

Some might see this as over protective. However, my child, my rules.

When you have a second running in a different direction. I like to know where my 5 year old is. But I don’t have eyes on him all the time because I have a toddler too who needs a lot more support. My son knows not
to leave the park.

Also depends on the park, if it’s my local park after school and I know alot of the other parent I’ll be more relaxed than somewhere totally new with nobody I know.

I keep eyes on all my children as best as I can. I am probably quite hyper vigilant compared to others but it’s the choice I make because for me the risk of losing one just is something I know I’d struggle to overcome.

I have a younger one too. I have tried taking them to the playground by myself, but it's just too stressful so I don't do it anymore.

Dd is 7 and I need to see her at all times. All my other mum friends with same age children are exactly the same, so it’s not anxiety it’s just knowing what the world is like. There is not a chance in hell I’d allow a 4yo to be out of my line of sight!

I only felt comfortable doing this when dd was 7 or 8. She's 9 now and I'd be completely comfortable with this.

That’s really sad. Your children are missing out on fun because of your anxiety, and I’m not sure it’s warranted.

I let my children out of my sight in small bursts from about 4. Eg, going to the climbing frame while I’ve got the little one on the swings. I would have expected at first to be able to see them every couple of minutes as they move around the equipment and I would have checked if I didn’t see them for a couple of minutes.

Then it sort of grows from there as you both get comfortable with it.

They are now 11 and 8, and the 11 year old walks to the shops etc on her own quite happily. I’ve let the 8 year old go with her once or twice, and I guess the next step will be the 8 year old going by herself.

If you don’t help them navigate these baby steps, how will they be ready for the bigger steps?