More and more thread deletions.

[SneezedToothOut]

Is it just me? There seems to be a growing willingness by Mumsnet HQ to delete threads when posters ask.

Myself and others have spent significant time today trying to help a poster get into a better position for her children and poof, it’s disappeared because the “OP felt it was too identifying”. Ironically we were needing more than the scant info posted to properly help.

Feels really disrespectful to other posters to just wipe out a thread like that, and I thought Mumsnet was pretty tough on when threads could and couldn’t be deleted.

It’s happening more and more.

I asked Mumsnet to delete a thread once because my partner was sitting next to me on the sofa and showed me my thread and asked if it was me. Never heard a word from them and the thread is still up (under a different account as I got suspended but that's a different story).

Yet when I asked for a thread to be deleted as I was finding some of the responses upsetting I was told, "We don't generally delete threads, though, unless they're libellous or racist or otherwise break the law." Which is clearly bollocks.

I can see why people might ask for a thread to be deleted if they have put personal information on there. Sometimes I really cant understand the deletions though and there is no other information than "breaking talk guidelines". I was on a thread that asked when the first election you voted in was and that has been deleted for breaking talk guidelines. I really can't see telling people how you voted 30 years ago can be worth deleting a whole thread for.

Again - seemingly innocuous threads asking "when did you do X?" "What's the last thing you bought?" "Where were you born" are almost certainly attempts to get data for research or article fodder which is not allowed.

Some of them could also be an attempt to get enough information to get people's passwords and hack accounts. Just like all the apparently harmless Facebook spam "what was your first pets name" etc etc.

I may be wrong but if someone feels they can be identified then GDPR gives you the right to be forgotten, so mnet have to delete.

Bloody annoying though.

Do tell... or maybe don't.. we don't want to end up deleted on a thread about getting deleted 🤦‍♀️

I agree with this. I've occasionally requested posts be deleted as I've posted and then thought better and worried they might be out me. I don't think I've ever asked for a thread to be deleted but it's a comfort that the option is there. I'd post less and be less open if I didn't have confidence that MN would support me in respecting my privacy if I had second thoughts about something. I'm glad they take the approach they do. I wouldn't want any negative consequences to happen to any posters who may have become worried about their posts later.

I wonder if the amount of traffic on the site has something to do with it. Maybe back in the day they were stricter as there were fewer threads... .maybe if the site is busy they can afford to delete, however personally I also think if someone really wants their thread taken down then that needs to be respected. We'd all want that right in any situation if for some reason we needed that.

This was why I asked for a thread to be deleted - I posted about a very personal issue & then totally got cold feet as it could have completely blown my life apart had I been identified in real life. Thankfully MN deleted it pretty quickly once asked (which was within about a half hour after posting and had only had a half dozen or so replies).

I'm glad they allow deletions although do get that it's frustrating if you've invested time in responding.

@WilliamButt did you admit to your partner or lie? Was it about your relationship?

You're devaluing the reasons many of us take part in MN. It's been a tremendous help to me while I was going through some tricky stuff - even my therapist was impressed by Mumsnet wisdom - and I do my best to give back in like measure.

If I'm investing thought & effort in a reply, I do consider lurkers and hope my post may be useful to someone in the future. It pisses me off no end when threads just disappear on a spurious excuse, after dozens of people have taken the trouble to write considered replies.

I was annoyed at the emergency supplies thread going poof today, but not as much as when it's a more in-depth discussion. I hardly think the amount of canned food in my kitchen will change anyone's life! But it's irritating all the same. It feels a bit "Thanks for that, now fuck off".

If all anyone wanted from MN was a stream of inconsequential chat that quickly disappears, they may as well stick to commenting on Insta/TikTok posts.

Classic Moving-The-Goalposts.......

I think it is really commendable that you care. If the issue was as serious as it seems I'd assume OP was nervous about being identified regardless of what other posters thought. Even in an anonymous forum, for someone in crisis, it can be a huge and scary step to post. Well done you for offering sincere advice. 👏

To be honest, I think if someone’s created a thread, they should be able to get it deleted for whatever reason they wish if they don’t feel comfortable with it. I mean yes, when you post, you run the risk of it not going how you want, but the point of posting on here is getting a feel of the general consensus and once you have, why the need to keep it standing?

I posted on here around a year ago about something quite trivial really - against my better judgement - under a different username, and whilst I could understand partly why I got the reaction I got (I didn’t come across well thinking back to how I framed the post) I got absolutely ripped to shreds and told I was an absolutely vile human being etc and it got to me quite a bit. I needed it deleted so I didn’t keep being quoted and piled on. The reaction was really disproportionate to my transgression.

Equally, if someone is anxious that something they said is outing (even if not) if it makes them feel better to have it deleted then why not? People can regret posting, and being able to rescind a post when they feel it necessary makes it MN feel more welcoming and safer. You can post on any other form of social media and delete, why not this? It doesn’t always need to stay up for entertainment.

You also sound over invested and as a pp said, you should take mumsnets advice of not giving more than you can.

It doesn’t always need to stay up for entertainment.

I do think that’s the reason lots of posters want it left up. They just hide behind this ‘I’ve given great advice and want it left up for others’. Seriously, get a grip, your advice isn’t that important and will probably be said hundreds of times elsewhere on the site by other posters on different threads anyway.

Yep totally this all over!!

It was indirectly about our relationship - embarrassing rather than relationship-ending, but I worried that he would do an advanced search.

Sometimes they don't even pretend. Recently there have been threads where it just says 'at posters request' agree it can be pretty annoying and then every now and then one is left to run when a poster has clearly asked for it to be deleted and it's clearly 'no longer helping them' which is given as an other reason for some threads to vanish. Odd!

I did wonder if partners sometimes found threads. You answered my question thanks.

And 'the last thing you watched on youtube'

Indeed. If posters think their input is this important then they really need to log off.

It. Doesn't . Matter.