What's your cautionary tale?

[BrightInMyNorthernSky]

Having just got through the most stressful week ever due to a nightmare situation of my own making, I thought I would share a previous and current cautionary tale.

1. Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn't. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn't answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k - five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!

You got off lightly!

Don't try to joke with your dentist in the middle of a tooth extraction, they may not share your sense of humour

It WILL, however, reduce the bags under your eyes.

This one, by observation only. DON'T be the Other Woman if you want a happy marriage with the man. If he will do it with you, he will do it to you.

Barney16 · Yesterday 23:23

Do not reach wildly into your bag for sunglasses whilst driving. Because many miles later you will realise that what you are actually wearing are 3d glasses from the Odeon.

😄

Trust your instinct, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia for years, but was so ill, I kept saying it has to be more, now I've just been diagnosed with a rare incurable autoimmune disease that was missed, but I knew and should've asked for a second opinion. Listen to you instinct always.

Er, I would rather miss 'my chance' than rush into a rebound relationship. Who are these men who are unable to survive without being in a relationship? Does any sane person actually want them? Truly desperate!!!

Please don't fall for the myth about putting haemorrhoid cream under your eyes, you'll regret it. The skin under your eyes is very thin and delicate, will be easily damaged by a cream designed for a very different type of skin and part of the body!

Never discussed any of those points either at a young age, and married 30 years.

This advice needs to be "pinned" at the top of the Work board on here.

I've lost count of the times I've said (on repeat!) stop trying to be bezzie mates with people at work/your manager isn't meant to be your pal. It isn't just that they will necessarily stab you in the back, it isn't always that extreme, but the relationships you have at work are on a very different basis, and keeping them friendly but professional and arms-length is the best way to survive and thrive.

but people never listen or learn.

And for the Dab don't Rub advice, don't conflate this with the advice about swimming in the same lane as your husband:

When swimming in the same lane as your husband and you decide to tickle his bollocks as he swims past you, make sure that he's not switched lanes and that someone else hasn't joined your lane instead!"

This is a really good one, we assume because they're 'professionals', have had huge amounts of training after uni, go on to pass ethics bars etc, their default is invested in our best outcomes, as they should be. Same for doctors/accountants/etc. But sadly, it's not true any more

This x100

Yes. In the most damaging way.

Not true. Wife has less. Her solicitor is cheaper than husbands. Wife has done very very well out of the divorce. Much more than husband is happy with. Wife's solicitor is excellent.

Do you take her for meals? If so then that needs to stop. You're sure she'll be happier spending the time with her favourites...

It is not the things that you worry about, consciously and endlessly that will come to fruition and bite you on the arse. It’s the thought that floats past the edge of your consciousness, that you are barely aware off and dismiss as ridiculous- THAT is your intuition and it has never failed me.
Always be financially independent .

Friend married to richer husband (she was teaching part time) told by judge ‘Get a proper job’ when they were discussing child access etc. can’t believe a decent lawyer would have enabled that to happen.

If you’re going to buy something that you’re the least bit embarrassed about, always buy a birthday card at the same time.

Don't disqualify an irate Navy Lieutenant from a sailing race, totally his fault, when you're 7 months pregnant if you have to go to the dentist a few days later and he's the dentist because his boss is away! To be fair, he was so very contrite because he had received a right royal rollicking for shouting at a lady, especially one in her condition! Didn't stop my heart missing a few beats when I walked in!

You can never really know someone, even if you think you do , even if you have been together years and years , you may believe they are good / kind but they will change into a complete stranger when divorce property and money raises its ugly head .

Employers tend to make noises about legal action if someone leaves early, but often tend not to pursue it in reality.

Absolutely! Marriage is a financial institution and many people forget this when in a romantic haze!

I agree with this.

I also have always stood by, buy the worst house on the best street. You'll make money that way. Not a cautionary tale quite the opposite but I was umming and ahhing over buying a house once, it was derelict and ran down, no heating no boiler, unusable kitchen (nothing worked) dodgy electrics.

A few K/years later and it is mortgaged at less than a quarter of the land it stands on and I've managed to buy several other houses with the value I've made from it.
It's not even in an extremely desirable area! But, it is desirable for 'normal' families and FTBs. Good schools, near the motorway, train station and a lovely park. Near city centre but not too near.

Very glad I bought it. My mum (long time landlord) gave me that advice and I've never forgotten it.

All my grandparents and one of my parents died before I left school - dad’s parents died before I was born.