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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends dh touchy feely when he's had a drink

54 replies

Onlyhereforthecomments · 02/06/2024 05:34

A very close friend's dh goes a tad too far when he's had a drink. I don't know what he's like with her other friends. He's not malicious and when he's sober he wouldn't dream of acting this way. We all lark about on the dance floor & he gets touchy with her boobs, that's fair enough; but he's also been like it with me in front of her, in a larking around manner. She's had to tell him off for it, it's not acceptable behaviour. A few weeks ago he got very tipsy. I was feeling a bit tired & wanted to sit down. He got a chair for me but as a "joke" put his hand on the seat just before I sat down, so I sat on his hand. This has made me feel very uncomfortable. He's no perv when he's sober & has since apologised.
How do I tell him to reign it in without causing an atmosphere when we're all out? Or do I tell my friend to tell him to reign it in & potentially cause a big issue in an otherwise happy marriage? My lovely dh would never dream of doing this, no matter how much he'd had to drink, so why does friend's dh think it's OK to do this?
And being drunk is no excuse for acting this way either, no matter how close you all are. I really don't want to cause a fall out in our friendship group, but I shouldn't have to put up with accidently sitting on another man's hand as a joke, even if he does apologise the next day. His hand wasn't flat, palm down either, it was turned up so I'd sit on his fingers. Yuk.
He doesn't fancy me or flirt so its not a sexual thing. I certainly don't fancy him so I don't know why he thinks I'd accept this sort of behaviour from him. Should I just loosen up & see it as a drunken prank & no harm intended, as this is genuinley what it is to him?

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 02/06/2024 15:15

Is anyone hoping he gets his comeuppance soon?

anothernamitynamenamechange · 02/06/2024 15:21

duchessofsilk · 02/06/2024 15:11

He wants to be careful he doesn't pick on the wrong person ( actually the right person) or he might find himself with a conviction and time on the register.

Yep- and get punched squarely in the face by another woman's husband

If I had to guess I would imagine being drunk makes him touchy-feely but for some crazy reason only when the husband's of the women aren't watching. I could be wrong but I bet I'm not.

duchessofsilk · 02/06/2024 15:26

anothernamitynamenamechange · 02/06/2024 15:21

If I had to guess I would imagine being drunk makes him touchy-feely but for some crazy reason only when the husband's of the women aren't watching. I could be wrong but I bet I'm not.

I think you're spot on there- but if he carries on, he will eventually run into trouble because someone, at some point, will notice it.

Men like that get careless when they think they're getting away with it time and time again- it's pure arrogance and they think they're invincible. I also worry that this could escalate - what would happen if she were to find herself alone with him.
It's very concerning to think what he would do. I am sure OP thinks oh he would never do that, but he is literally groping her in full public view so goodness knows what he'd do if they were alone at any point.

Moonpie6 · 02/06/2024 18:56

ThePoshUns · 02/06/2024 08:28

He's not 'touchy feely' he's a creepy sex pest who sexually assaulted you.
I'd have punched him in the face tbh.

Same.

However I was sexually assaulted on a works night out by a colleague several years ago. I froze. You never react how you think you're going too.

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