Kids party no food

[Thebabewiththepowerof]

Quick one

Aibu to think the recent move towards not providing party food at kids parties is a bit odd?

Just picked up DS from yet another party where no food was provided (and no it’s not a cost thing, not in this case anyway) just a doughnut 🍩.

The kids don’t care I’m sure but I wasn’t planning on doing a “dinner” tonight so had to come home and produce something from nothing because he was hungry. If you aren’t providing food then at least tell us in advance so we know!

Anyway, am I?

ps for context he is 8, appreciate if he were 16 this would all be a bit weird 🤪

I agree with OP most have chick nuggets /pizza/sanis. It usually breaks the party up, bit of play, food and then play again
I've only ever been to one at clip ans climb when there was no food. My son has just turned 9 so similar age. Everyone stood round at the end when they had sang happy birthday and kids sat at table thinking that was the norm. I get it can be expensive at venues but at home a couple sanis and crisps is normal I would of thought.

Perhaps you should call childline then because there were years I certainly could not. A soft play for 40 children was so far beyond the realm of possibility! There is no entitlement to a party.

Perfect response OP!

I would still make mine dinner (or wherever meal) after a party as a couple of sandwiches or whatever is unlikely to fill them up. It wouldn't cross my mind to consider party food as a replacement for en evening meal.

I don’t know. I see the camp accusing others of bullying, entitlement and cruelty as the OTT ones ‘frothing’ here! It’s just different opinions; I have not seen anything ‘cruel’ yet. I may have missed it though.

Probably Tory voters 🙄

This thread gets better and better😂

The jam slag thing is getting boring now

From my experience, generosity of hosting is not always related to income. Some of the wealthiest people I know are the stingiest hosts and vice versa.

I have relatives in one of the poorest countries in the world. Who live in huts of mud with a corrugated iron roof, inaccessible by road, you need to cross rivers and paddy fields to get there etc. When you visit them, they will give you a feast and that makes them genuinely happy. They would be so upset if you refused their food.

That is why lots of hosting I see in this country surprises me. My husband has fully embraced the hosting from my family’s culture and has changed a lot over the years!

I think there is a happy medium between a full spread and a donut and cake at non-typical meal times.

Food is a focus at gatherings across many cultures so I do find sparse hosting unusual - OP you are not unreasonable.

I have never attended a birthday party at any time without prepared, cooked or bought food where kids sit to eat before the cake is brought out. The quantity and quality vary hugely but nothing like just a donut.

The variety has been- full kids party spread (the only truly acceptable party spread for any age), to snack boxes with brunch items (not joking, it was great), Indian food with British food (cooked) again was fab, to cut up fruit and veg with sarnies and biscuits (party rings, of course) and everything in between.

This has been an interesting thread though as clearly hosting standards vary across the UK and beyond.

My main view is that if you are not serving party food, tell your guests in advance so they can plan their days accordingly.

Maybe a family without much money, might be delighted that their kid is being fed at a party. It could then be difficult for them to collect their child who still needs a meal.

It means getting more out of the party then they put in. E.g. Hosting a party at home for minimal costs and getting presents worth more in exchange.

Exactly this, not sure how it's a hard concept to understand unless those that don't understand think it's completely normal 🤔

Some of the richest people I know are the tightest. You don’t get rich by spending money after all. Hosting is taken quite seriously in our family and we enjoy putting on a good spread to be enjoyed by everyone. I would be embarrassed just to put out a tray of biscuits and a jug of water.

Please tell me you had sausages on sticks, top hat cakes and crispy cakes too?😁

I didn’t realise you expected to be repaid for the present. Surely exchanging gifts evens out over the year if you want to look at it that way.

It’s not kind and a lot of people are pouncing on her post to specifically criticise her party in quite a mean way. How would you characterise that?

Its not a party if you don't provide food. It's just a playdate. Which is fine, just don't call it a party or expect presents.

What happened to sandwiches and sausage rolls ? You can't just provide sweets.

You can

They've just had lunch

I'd not assume there was food at a party from 2-4 as it's not over a meal time. I think cake and drinks is plenty really. Also some donuts are really calorific! Would easily keep my 8 year old going till dinner time as they would have had lunch beforehand. Which is probably what the host thought.

Most people with kids eat dinner at 5:30-6ish so imagine you'd be preparing dinner for yourself for then anyway? Such a non issue.

But I wouldn't be such a cunt as to judge other people for not being able to afford to feed 40 kids.

Most families who don't invite 40 kids can't (or don't want to) feed 40 kids, it's a lot of guests 😂.

Even a class party is generally 30 kids at most, you have to be really privileged to invite 40, or to book exclusive access to a soft play even if prices vary. If you can afford to do that, then yes, you are stingy not to offer food because you have decided it's not the right time for a meal 😂

back in the real world...

party from 2 to 4 generally means food at 3:30. Kids get given an early snack lunch around 11.

Most of my kids friends have diner around 7, or later... Not everybody can finish work early and have diner ready by 5:30!

We all have different timings, the point is that normal parents adapt the schedule depending on the invitations of the day, and juggle different things with different kids. It's unusual to have parties without actual food serve, never had one so far.

Host offer the food, it's the norm. Kids eat it or not, but in my (limited) experience, food always completely disappear whatever time it's served.

It’s a debate, sometimes passionate and challenging and sometimes not as polite as people could be. But bullying is a hell of an accusation that needs to be used appropriately.

I understand the debate, but the personal attacks are uncalled for.