What’s up with the ‘out and about’ brigade?

[Nayouknow]

You know the ones. ‘I like to be out and about’ brigade. The ‘I’d be climbing the walls if I didn’t leave the house every day’ crew. The people who view time spent in their homes to be ‘wasted’ and time spent outside it to somehow automatically be more rewarding/interesting/energising/virtuous/insert positive.

I’ve only really come across this sort of mentality on MN and I find it fascinating. What’s their deal? Do they not like their homes? Do they have no indoor pursuits that they enjoy enough to be occupied for one day? Is it the actual outside air (not to be confused with the air in their gardens, as those of them who have gardens are generally very clear that hanging out in the garden isn’t sufficient)? Are they hardcore extroverts?

Like everyone else I know, I like to go out and I like to stay in. Walks are nice. Activities are nice. Spending a weekend at home cooking/reading/watching box sets/playing with DS is also nice. Based on their comments, the aforementioned crew would consider the latter a ‘wasted weekend’.

Having lived alone many more years than I've lived with another adult in the house, I can tell you that it's likely loneliness OR... depends entirely on the size of their home. Think about it, if you live in a tiny house or flat with no particular area dedicated to a hobby or a garden or something to occupy yourself with other than a screen, then you're going to want to get out. This was me for many, many years and it was miserable and excruciatingly lonely. However if you've a nice big sprawling bungalow to wander around from to room in, perhaps a lovely spacious garden and greenhouse etc, then maybe you're going to be less likely to want to go out. I know I would be if I had all of the latter!

I speak from miserable experience when I say that being stuck in a small house with only a tiny living room and equally tiny kitchen & bedroom, feels like you're in a prison cell.

Perhaps it's your time of life...when my DC were younger, it was rushing about to work, school, and then to clubs and activities, the beach, museums, the lake house...Now, in my 70s, having lived, travelled and worked abroad for many years, I just want to stay at home with my cats, chickens, garden and orchard, enjoying the tranquility, the sunshine and the lack of deadlines. I write, read, teach, listen to podcasts...perfick.

When I was younger and my kids were younger I always got them out of the house everyday. When I first moved down south (250 miles from family) with DS1 then 7 I didn’t know anyone but having no internet at home back then I would go stir crazy if I didn’t get out and do something. These days with the kids mainly grown up now or doing their own thing I do like quiet weekends and don’t need to plan loads of stuff to do. That said I do like to get to the office 2-3 times a week to see colleagues and I am in a walking group. Group meets 3 times a week but I don’t do every walk, mainly walk twice which is great as it means most of Saturday is walking and pub lunch, then I’m happy to chill. I prefer to be at home in the evenings if I can, but will meet friends for meals and theatre every couple of months. Prefer to do a lunch rather than evening meal too if I

I’m an introvert. But also part of the ‘out and about ‘ crew. I love to move and walk. I can walk for hours. I see being mostly in the house like being in jail. Unfortunately with a relatively still young child I cannot live my out and about life much these days but looking forward to the days I can do that again. Yes we have a garden and back yard but after 10 mins there I’m bored out of my mind.

Most of us don’t have orchards!

i wfh, and during the week rarely get out except to take DS to an activity. So yes, by the weekend I need to get out and do something

I've come across this with friends, although they have boisterous toddlers or kids diagnosed with ADHD where they don't stop. Those were the ones who really struggled in lockdown.

I'm the opposite and love being at home, it's where all my stuff is. I only leave the house to go to the gym, walk the dog and food shopping, I have to force my self to leave the house. DH and DD1 are happy mooching around at home too. DD2 is an outside kid and has to go out on her bike/ skates/ play out with friends.

Exactly. I can bear to be in my own home, I just have no wish to spend most of the day there. Even when I worked full time every time I left work I walked in the opposite direction to my house until I had gone far enough, then turned back and walked home. I want to get some exercise, I want to get some fresh air. Yes, I could sit on my back terrace, I could sit in the garden, but I want to get out and see a bit of life. Staying at home all day to me is dull.

I just find it so much easier to parent a toddler and baby if we go out. Baby can nap in the pram whilst I get some 1:1 time back with toddler at the park/softplay/ a cafe or whatever. We don’t do loads of big days out but having a few hours to break the day up really helps. If we go out in the morning then toddler will be more calm and settled in the afternoon and likely to play nicely with his toys whilst I get some jobs done or focus on baby. If we are heading out in the afternoon I can use the promise of a trip out somewhere later on to get toddler to behave for the morning! 😂

We have a small house and a tiny garden and we both get bored after too long just playing with his toys or running round the garden. Trying to do any meaningful activities like crafts or baking are a bit trickier at the moment whilst constantly stopping to breastfeed a baby as well.

Love to be out seeing friends and meeting new people, going to new places and having fun. Life for me is all about adventure, new experiences and learning.

I have a beautiful home, and come home to sleep, decompress and relax only. Home is a springboard. A place of safety and peace, but who needs that all of the time 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don’t get what’s difficult to understand about people liking a change of scenery and fresh air?

Some people may only actually live in one room in a shared house and not want to stay there all day.

I’m on mat leave and getting out of the house with fresh air and distractions stops me from thinking about how i exhausted and isolated i feel.

This is a bizarre post.
Nothing better to do than criticise people that want to leave their house and enjoy the world.
Staying in the same four walls and watching tv is so exhilarating.
Why not enjoy going out and getting new amazing experiences?

I'm also in my 70s, I like being at home reading, or pottering in our small garden some of the time. But there are very few days when I don’t go out at some point. DH has a couple of home based hobbies, which he really enjoys. I don’t sew, knit, paint or cook for pleasure. I volunteer, go to the gym, to the library, meet friends. I feel better for a bit of exercise, even if it’s just a walk to the shops or through the park. I also like to explore the city where we moved to 20 years ago.

When I was working, I loved a day at home, relaxing, or even just catching up on housework!

I have a really full on job where I'm interacting with people a lot and dealing with difficult situations. I then spend my evenings ferrying my kids about. If i have any down time at all i want to spend it quietly and doing virtually nothing. I like being outside at the weekend but I've got no desire to meet up with people or do anything sociable. So a walk, a swim, maybe a quiet corner of a beer garden. Nothing else.

Why do you find it so difficult to understand that people like different things? Odd that you feel superior because you don't like being outside?
I'm an introvert but love being outdoors. I relax by walking and listening to a podcast.

Nothing to do with AIBU or not, it’s just different preferences! I’m no one’s idea of an extrovert, but have to leave the house every day to feel good mentally and physically. I don’t tend to go to big, crowded places - generally a park, the woods, the beach, a playground. My DC enjoy it, I enjoy it and it makes me feel less sluggish and “meh” about things. My house is fine, but it’s not a mansion on 10 acres, so staying in it 24/7/365 doesn’t appeal!

I go out every day, even if it's just to the gym. Sitting on the sofa and watching netflix all day is my idea of hell. I found lockdown so bloody hard as everything I knew had been taken away.

Being outdoors makes me happy, it clears my head. My garden is a shared garden so it's not private, to get some time to reset I have to go out somewhere.

I like a mix. I couldn’t stand 48 hours stuck inside my house doing not much on a weekend. Going outside is fulfilling in terms of fresh air, sunshine, exercise and mental stimulation. I don’t always go out to be with other people I am happy going around doing something on my own. I find being indoors I end up doing loads of housework and it doesn’t feel like I have had a break from drudgery.

People are different, their lives have different journeys. My Dad is always out and about but my Mum died 3 years ago and they had been together since they were 18 and 19 for over 50 years when she died. They’d been a very happily married couple who did most things together until she died within 2 months of being diagnosed with cancer so sitting in the house looking at the 4 walls without her there with him is miserable.
so I would countenance a little patience the next time you roll your eyes at the “out and about” brigade because you don’t know their journey or what drives them.
Each to their own - I tend to not allow myself get ruffled about these things - you do you. Sounds lovely.

When my kids were little I used to get them out every day if I could. To break the day up, burn off some energy and have a change of scene. Double points if I could feed them while we were out - eg picnic in the park with friends - so it was one less meal trashing the house.

Now that we're empty-nesters I love nothing better than a day home alone.

ADHD.

I can't sit and watch a box set, or do absolutely nothing, I can't just hang around in my garden, I get bored. It's probably why I have three dog's and a very active job.

I'm also not an extrovert, I like a few people and that's about it.

@Sunnytwobridges You sound very like me! low energy, been there, done that kind of vibe. I have no FOMO and love not HAVING to go out on any particular day. I dislike crowds, so ’events’ have little appeal. Also dislike hot days, and crowds and hot days go together!

Same here - I used to break the day up into halves and try to do something different in each bit, deffo eating out if possible and yes to not making a mess at home! I think I felt I had to expose them to as much as possible so their sponge-like minds got used. I didn't have that as a kid and spent a lot of time not knowing what people were talking about.

We've travelled loads and seen a lot of UK. I'm tired now though, so really appreciate time in the house cooking nicer meals, making sure the window boxes look good, keeping up on DIY which seems to be the pressing need. I think I was aware when younger my time for being a homebody would come but to use the energy while I felt it.

So much more going on outside the house than in!

I like my house and garden very much. However, it doesn't have a sea view, its not in the middle of woodland, I can't swim there or walk far. There isn't a hill to climb. There are no museums, historic buildings, galleries, live bands playing or theatrical performances. My friends and extended family aren't there and sometimes are actually a long way away. I don't knit, sew or craft, don't watch much TV, and reading and MN probably need to be balanced with other activities. After a year of being forced to stay at home, and knowing there's a possibility as I age I will be forced to spend more if not most time there, I want to get out and about while I can.