2 year old dummy addict- says he doesn't like dummy anymore

[dummyfairie]

I'm very surprised and shocked at what's happened with my 2 year old and his dummy addiction.

He's usually walking around with a few in his hands, popping them in and out of his mouth to try them out. He definitely has his dummy too much. He absolutely adores it.

Anyway, since yesterday, he's just refused it entirely.

He says he doesn't like it.

What's this about? Has anyone ever had a child just decide to stop on their own ? He's not had it in nursery for months. But when he's with me, he has it a lot. We take it out of his mouth regularly and do tell him he's a big boy and doesn't need it.

Has anyone else's child just decided to give it up on their own ?

You’re surprised OP because people love to go on about how hard these things (getting rid of dummy, baby sleep, potty training etc) are. Sometimes they’re just easy 🤷🏻‍♀️ it doesn’t mean anything. Good or bad.

OK I worked it out. He's actually not just over it.

We are away at the moment and I lost all his dummies the other day, so bought a bunch of new ones, he doesn't like them !

Same brand, same type he usually has, but he doesn't like them for some reason, they put him off.

He found one of his dummies and was happily sucking on it 🤦🏻‍♀️

But I am going to take the chance and just throw them all out. He's been sleeping fine without and hasn't had them for twice days, except today for a short time when he found his old friend.

Yes, tantrums have been a bit harder, but I think it's best if I just throw them all out and brave it now.

He refused it ? Why are you trying to give him a dummy at two ?

Dummies are absolutely lazy parenting.

most people seem to use them so you aren’t alone but pretending they are there for anything other than soothing your child so you don’t have to, is total bullshit.

what’s funny is that people on MN think older children having dummies is lazy but babies aren’t. It’s all the same so I wouldn’t feel bad about the age your children are still using them.

Yeah yeah whatever.

I had to give my DD a dummy at 6 months because I wanted to stop BFing as she didn’t sleep and just wanted to comfort feed constantly, I had PND and postnatal OCD and just needed to sleep. She wouldn’t take bottles and wouldn’t take dummies so we basically had to wean her into them because otherwise she screamed and screamed and screamed. So of that makes me lazy then so be it but you are a total arsehole for making sweeping statements like that.

If you choose to take the hard road through every aspect of parenting that’s absolutely your right- but no one is going to give you a medal for it.

This. I don't know what the point of the post was.

It sounds like you're very invested in his wanting to have a dummy at 2.

As others have said this is great news. Chuck them all out and no don't try to find him old/new ones that he likes, or keep one to offer him at a later date. Just get rid of them.

That's none of your business, rude and judgemental!

@Coldsore neither of mine had dummies....

It's still not lazy parenting and at least the dummy users are still sucking their thumbs at god knows what are (neither of mine weee thumb suckers, but if they were, they'd have been given a dummy)!

No one cares what you think but the way!

That explains it! Yep, strike whilst the iron is hot.

🤦🏻‍♀️ people are so OTT when it comes to dummies. What's the big f ing deal.

I was posting to hear other experiences, maybe read my posts before posting ?

I've never seen or heard of a child just giving it up without any coaxing / parental strategy etc. I was just surprised about it but I've worked out why he's done that. I know now that some kids do just completely give it up alone, but that's not what's happening with him. He just didn't like the new dummies I got him.

Anyway, I'll strike whilst the iron is hot- however, should he ask for it a lot, I might give it back, he's still little and it gives him comfort. Judge me all you want, I don't really care.

Mumsnet is full of sanctimonious mothers, who think having a dummy is tantamount to letting a child be left in a cot alone for hours on end.

Ignore them! It's boring and they're judgemental self congratulatory idiots.

As I've said before mine didn't have dummies, not because I'm a non lazy parent, but I was blessed with two very well sleeping babies.... luck not design!

If you feel he still needs the comfort, that's fine. I said strike whilst the iron was hot, but you know him better than I do!

I did read your post and I still stand by what I said.

Can’t be bothered with the dummy hate, as a thumb sucker I had a bitch of a time dropping the habit when warned by the dentist at aged 7. Both mine have had dummies, both easily dropped them at 2, no issues (although not voluntarily like yours OP!)

What I will say is that DS was a stickler for being rocked to sleep until he was about 9 months and DH was away for the weekend. Suddenly I was trying to rock him and he just wasn’t having any of it, squirming, pushing, not dropping off. So in desperation I popped him in the cot while I panicked tried to come up with an idea to get him to sleep. He then proceeded to just drop off by himself! It was the weirdest thing. I’m convinced he was telling me ‘stop rocking me mummy, I’m done with this thanks’. Having had a DD I had to train off rocking to sleep, it was a bizzare experience!

I would definitely throw them all out. He’s sleeping without it, doesn’t have it at nursery etc so by giving them back to him he may regress. I don’t understand why toddler have to have them at the park/playgroups so sounds like the perfect opportunity to get rid.

My midwife recommended I give ds a dummy because he was feeding all the time for comfort and I got mastitis.
I had a choice, continue letting him use me as a dummy and risk not being able to feed at all or give him a dummy.
Ds only ever had the dummy to sleep, the rest of the time I did comfort him.

There are very few lazy parents and lots of dc with dummies.

There are very many people on MN with judgmental opinions so at least you’re not unique.

It's not lazy parenting, if you just give your child a dummy and never cuddle, soothe etc fair enough but that's abit harsh in my opinion.

We were recommended a dummy by a specialist and it really didn't bother me at all. I also didn't care what anyone thought, it always baffles me how invested people are in other people's kids and how they parent?

Anyway OP, when my DS did this I did a scavenger hunt in the house (it was winter) we collected up all the dummies, put them in a basket for the 'Dummy Fairy' to collect to give to the other babies that need them. Hung them in the tree and replaced the basket with a small gift from the fairy to say thank you ☺️ never asked again. Good luck x

My dd did the same.

Just count yourself lucky and get rid of them.

It is lazy parenting when you see walking toddlers with dummies in out and about. It delays speech, causes teeth issues and there's no need for it. I see so many people shove a dummy at a toddler, rather than talk, hug, engage with their child.

Fair enough if OP was just using it at sleep time, but her first post didn't sound like that.

At nursery we encourage all settled children with dummies in the 2-3yo room to put dummies in their bag. They often have them for naps still but not up and playing. It always surprises me how as soon as a parent picks them up they immediately give them the dummy. I think sometimes the parents feel they need them more than they really do.

In your case, yes your son sounds ready to move on. If he's not having it at nursery then he probably realises he doesn't really want it. Definitely work with it now as toddlers are fickle and he might change his mind and it could be harder to remove later!

It's definitely a habit!

It's also a ritual every morning, we put it in his bag together with his key worker. It was a way to distract him when he was struggling to separate from me at drop offs. Now it's become a habit.

As soon as I pick him up, he runs to his bag, gets his dummy out and pops it in his mouth.

He's now been without it for three days and nights, so I think we should go with it.

Honestly, I'm a little sad for him because he really did love it so much and he's not a baby anymore.

I feel like he's young to lose it completely but I know first hand the struggles of trying to get them to give it up when they just don't want to. From my older daughter.

I'll see how things go for him.

It sounds like you want him to have it more than him! I would really take it as a positive and don’t hold him back. If he’s old enough to run around at the park etc then he is definitely old enough to not need a dummy. You could try replacing it with a teddy comforter - at least than won’t harm his teeth or speech like his dummy could.

I wasn't using it just for sleep, no.

But I'm not lazy at all. My children are well cared for in every way and I'm a great mum. I give them hugs and cuddles and talk to them all the time.

My son is actually really clever and speaks a lot for his age and potty trained before age 2. His teeth are also completely fine. My older daughter also had a dummy and there have been no issue with teeth or speech.

My kids are thriving, despite your extremely judgemental opinion on how I've raised them. You know one thing, that we use dummies and have made so many judgements on that one thing, it's incredible really. Each to their own, I guess.